In (all) friendship
This is another of these interesting german shows who try to tell people to love each other more, try to accept and understand other ideas and also is one of the series my mother and I often watch together.
There also is another series, which is related to it, with an additional “die jungen Ärzte” (the young doctors) at the end, but the start of the name is the same and also others, but we only watched these two. So a “daughter”, sub or sibling show (or something like that, you know what I mean).
In recent episodes especially, but also in previous years, there have been a lot of attempts to hint towards struggles and problems with society and our lives in general. And since these series play in and around hospitals and the life of people working there, it tried to show how it should be or what is not okay.
For example they had an episode about the “Nothingness” and that one doctor was scared of it in a way, but had a black painting on his wall to remind him (or something).
They also showed in one episode that the one who said that others should check on their health, had issues themselves, often even what they pointed out towards others.
But besides all the good messages, for example that one of their best young doctors failed his exam because of stress and then didn’t get the title (official doctor certificate?). I want to talk about two characters I found the most relateable in a way and also important to talk about.
First let’s get a feeling for it maybe, with the intros and title songs.
(And since yesterday I only got myself to want to cry, but the eyes only got a little wet, maybe one tear drop, now I feel more like weeping again and hopefully can.)
The first character I want to write about is Rebecca Krieger (Krieger = warrior) and Rebecca means something like “to bind”, “to tie” or also “earth” or “soil”. So you could maybe call her “Earth warrior”. 😀 But probably most people would not know the meaning of the name, I also had to look it up.
Since people who can memorize more of this series and her story (actual fans), I will only write about what I have seen (since I only sometimes watched it with my mother) and remember.
Her family relation was not what is considered typical and natural. (When I remember correct) is the woman on the left (also a collegue) her half-sister. They have the same father who is also working there as the clinic manager (or something) and I hope that I not completely messed some things up (which often happens). But this is what seems to be true for me right now. When it isn’t, then my apology and I won’t search for it because this is not about making everything correct, all details and stuff. If you really want to know, search for yourself. I have to write things down from my heart…
So “Krieger” (since they often called each other with surname, instead of the actual name, common in Germany), didn’t have a normal childhood. And although it seems to somehow work that she has a half-sister and works with her and her father, she has a hard time.
She tries to make everything perfect or as best as possible and does not allow herself any mistakes. When something tragic happens she keeps it usually inside and pretends to be okay or that she can or has to continue. Sometimes it is also necessary it seems. In one episode she was responsible for a surgery, but something went wrong and the patient died (when I remember correct). It was horrible for her, but she tried to work it out on her own, blamed herself for being not good enough and that she failed someone.
Others tried to tell her that she should maybe take a day off or that such things happen, but she couldn’t accept it. Tried to work through it, tried to find what went wrong. At some point one of the other doctors told her, that she has to let it out (or something like that). Her internal fight got to a point when she then had to go into an elevator and scream and hit metal walls or something (when my memory doesn’t fail me).
From outside and with others she usually presents herself confident, strong and as if everything is fine. But when she is alone or maybe with someone who cares for her, the facade sometimes broke. And she also had a high level of justice and that she probably had to do everything perfect, since lives depend on it. But her own life was probably left behind, what she really needed and wanted.
She once at least even cried for someone else and tried to find solutions for people, even though it was (according to protocol) not allowed. For example to tell someone else something about a patient and such things (when it really was her). All this “I have to help” and “I have to make everything work” was not good for her. I have seen myself there… although I of course had nothing to do with medicine and hospitals in that way. But I guess you know what I mean.
The other character was Tom Zondek. “Was” because he died recently, the character, luckily not the actor, like in other shows or cases maybe.
I didn’t watch the episode in which he (the character) died, but my mother and she told me about it a little.
He died in a trial to safe someone else, while they were doing some kind of “skill enhancement” somewhere and there was an accident. At first it seemed as if he wasn’t so badly hurt, but they had to then revive him. He even joked about that cats have seven or nine lives or something, but because he had internal injuries or something they weren’t then not able to stabalise him and after some struggle with trying to get him back again, he then died completely.
When he joined the team, he was seen as a little rebelious and also tried to do more than he was able to, according to the others and sometimes might have actually overdone it. But he often found solutions the older or other young doctors didn’t even know about or considered as a possible cause or solution. The patients usually felt more safe when he was around and also trust him, eventhough he was actually not allowed to do some things or was not said to be able to, because of his status as a doctor in practice (or how it is called when you are still new and have to first try and learn a lot).
Sometimes patients even felt love towards him or some kind of connection was between them.
He was usually more calm and quiet, but could also push something through sometimes.
In one episode there was a patient who had a lot of pain in his head after an accident I think. The other doctors couldn’t really help him nor did they know what the actual problem was. The patient always tried to minimize the pain and pressure on his head with exercise, like physical training, sport and such things. But that was not good for the rest of his health, since the heart had a lot of struggle with all of this and also other things started to make trouble (I think). As soon as the patient would stop for a while to do something, the pressure and pain would come back and it also got stronger, so that is why he was sent to the hospital.
While the other doctors tried to analse the brain and blood or whatever, Zondek (Tom) went outside with the man and sat down on one of the benches or chairs or what they got. Then he told him that he should try to describe a man walking down the road and also some other things. And told him to pay attention to the details and just say all of it out loud. At first the patient was of course confused and the pain was still heavy, but then did as he said. And after a while it actually seemed to help. Zondek pointed out that the brain needed something else to work on and to focus on and such things. Later the others were of course happy that he could help the patient, but it was interesting that this young doctor had to do and say that and understood that, while the other ones were actually longer in the job.
If he would not have at least tried what he thought might help, the patient could have died from organ failure or such things, while the hospital would not have been able to help him.
And now this empathic, kind, encouraged and intelligent doctor died. I mean, maybe the actor wanted a change in his life or whatever happened, but this could also be seen as a message and “wake up call”.
That because some people are too busy to need some certificates and all these things, while young wounderful people who actually helped and could have found new and better solutions, die. Often because they over-work themselves, sacrifice themselves for others and get ignored.
And I mean, again, it is kind of normal that doctors take some pills sometimes to do their job and stay calm or concentrated. There have been cases in which they forgot things inside people after surgeries and stuff, so they basically saved a life, but then the patient died because there was a sponge (or something) left inside which then caused inflaming or other reactions and the some people died.
Usually it is said that a patient should (also because other things could happen, like stitches weren’t strong / tied enough) immediately call and come back. But people like me, who usually feel pain and it seems to be even common around here, this is easier said that done. Because the usual pain level (accepted level) could match with the additional pain, so it might seem like a small thing, maybe some wrong you have eaten or a bad day, or something. And then you ignore it and your body (nervous system) adjusts itself to the pain level and done. So you could die without even noticing it or until it might be or almost be too late.
Telling me to say when something hurts is like telling me to talk about what bothers me or what I thing is not okay. I usually don’t even know where to start or stop because it is so much.
So I usually don’t even try, especially when it got usually take for something else or ignored anyway.
(You know or can read my hospital story somewhere on the blog)
And the worst part is, that the doctors were just doing their job as they were used to do it, I guess. Except for the one in the town who I went, who then immediately sent me in the hospital. She actually knew what I had and told the hospital where the problem was. But they first let me wait, then made a lot of basic checks, only to come to a similar conclusion and were probably shocked a little or didn’t care at all. Since I had to even find the room I had to stay in on my own and walk there by myself, after I had not eaten nor water in two days, vomitted out my guts (at least it felt like this), had seen the tunnel (almost), my whole belly was inflamed and partially devouring itself. But hey, I was smiling, still able to stand and quiet. IT MUST BE FINE. I couldn’t talk…
And guess what, they took all the time they got to slow and calmly study my case (or whatever they did on their screens). I mean I was too tired and powerless to talk, complain nor make anything besides what I got told (if even). And none of them had any kind of understanding or care on how I must feel. Either because they had a lot of problems themselves (understandable) or they just didn’t feel or think at all. I don’t know, it was just terrifying how this experience was, compared to what should be normal and is shown in a TV show (which partially addresses such issues and also tries to make people aware of things and how they wish things would be, rather than they are).
Sometimes I really feel like an alien or something, since most people seem to be machines or act as if they were already dead, in a way.
“Work sets you free…” you know…
And some doctors actually want to help, some doctors just want to be important and some just do as they got told or taught…