How being me feels

Portrayed by a video game.

At least when I can’t escape into my room and do useless things to distract myself or walk alone outside through nature. Then I feel better.
But this is about how I usually feel, just because of all the things happening on this earth and with people who actually want to just live and don’t harm other.

And then you just sit there, walk around a little and this huge army tries to kill you because you somehow entered a contest about world domination, while you actually just wanted to enjoy some straw berries, fresh water and some sun light.

At the end the lord just stood there like: “Just finish it already…”
Because he didn’t even move anymore.

I mean, if I would just have to portray how I would feel with only those people around who actually just enjoy nature and maybe help it instead of destroying it and who would just let me and my mother and others like us live in peace, then I would probably not even be online, since I wouldn’t even have seen the point in it. But maybe I would have showed a big green forest landscape and some squirrel running around. And I would just be looking at them and then basically do something similar, since I would need to get some food myself. And no, I wouldn’t eat a squirrel. I actually don’t eat meat anymore and felt no big change so far, only that my stomach seemed to be thankful for it. I did eat a little bit a few times, so my mother wouldn’t feel too weird or when she otherwise would have thrown it away. But hey…

The worst part is, that people don’t get that I feel horrible because of them, not because of myself. I actually had no problem with feeling good when I was little and no one wanted a thing from me. Even now I can feel wonderful when actually crazy people with instructions and paper and weird laws for brain deads don’t get in my way.

It would be just cool if I could change with them for one day. Maybe then they would stop this shit. But hey… it is fine. I will just wait until they all died out and then I can be the king of the world by simply doing what I am good at (at least sometimes), making people feel good and then feeling even better myself.

When there is one thing time has given us, then more madness.
Well, and a few people who actually understood and loved their environment until they all died with it, when they didn’t get aggressive or broke a little.

Funny little accidents.
Funny little axeidents.
Funny little axe intents.
Funny little… FUNNY LITTLE… AXE IN TENTS!!!!!

Viewer: Dude, you can’t just run around with an axe and cut open tents of innocent people! That’s like illegal and crazy.


Like a few decades ago people were just throwing gas, acid and more chemicals and bombs on innocent people and these were “accidents” or “necessary casualties”. A few more years back and burning people who knew how to heal sickness and wounds with natural medicine was even supported by law. And a few more years back and people were crucified for making people walk, see and even live again.


Viewer: he got a point… I must admit.

And don’t forget, I am not the one with the axe. I am not the one who looks how millions of trees get cut down and thinks: “Yeah, that’s just normal.” or “What a day, I killed three chicken.”

It is pretty hard at times to withstand the wish to make these people scream.
But you have to be a good guy and just accept the pain they create. o.o
So I tried to become like them to understand it…

When you don’t know about it, I can totally understand it and I know most people don’t, since otherwise they wouldn’t do these things, I guess.
But the worst is when you kinda have to because everyone else does and you don’t know anymore who is more crazy. The people following orders or those who give them.

Machiavelli 9000

When it would be good to be Machiavelli, but you try to play nice, since you already have enough pain and know that controlling others only gives you more.

I like this short moment in which the units didn’t move and nothing happened, while a few birds were singing in the background. But I didn’t include it here. It had this: “Verdun” kind of touch, like: “What the hell are we doing here? Aren’t we all people?” But then the Emperor had to get involved again and the nice chatting, singing and playing was over.

Why can’t some just live in peace… and stop dragging everyone else into their mess, to all die instead of live? I know why, they just want everything for themselves. That’s all…
Just MORE of everything, which is basically nothing, since they only get more of nothing, while destroying everything else of value, like plants, nice native americans, funny coala bears and OH a random population of no matter what kind of species. Like: “I want this coal and you are in the way. You can either get that coal for me or you burn with it.”

And then I am like: “God have mercy on me when I burn them…”
But instead I just stand there. 🌳🔥


And now I have to calm myself down with yet another walk in the forest.