Old phones and other “parables”

Do you remember?

(In case you follow this weird blog for a while now.)

I mentioned my grand father’s old phone.

And it still worked and probably could work to this day.

Because just a few years ago it was still in use.

Almost feels like a different time or parallel universe. Luckily it isn’t.

Although “luckily” is a very weird word in this context.

I mean just imagine that, we already have technology with which we can wirelessly control whole factories and virtually meat and such things, but phones like this are still working or were just 5 years ago.

Why is it important?

Well, because for what reason did you need a phone back then?

To meet, manage some things and maybe call someone who is far away.

What changed?

Well, I guess nothing.

But people instead of trying to meet, tended to not meet.

Basically giving away they last bit of freedom.

But of course new technology has also good sides, it is just hard to tell, whether you really need mobile phones run with human blood. Or factories. o_o

It is interesting that on this phone the number of the (german) emergency is written three times and the police two times. But when my grand father was having seizures, my father was standing next to him talking weird things (probably trying to fight demons or whatever). And my mother had to call the medic, when she arrived, minutes later.

He survived that, my grand father, but he could have died easily.

Would that happen to my father, I don’t know what I would do, since I usually have a problem with talking (in stress situations). But I guess, I would try to get help. No matter what, his life also has to be safed. I would just feel better, would I be far away from him, so I would have to get help one day, while I, my mother or my grand father didn’t really get help. Or we had to help each other.

It is not good when I am near my father because it makes me angry, because it hurts and also will never stop hurting, as long as I have to see him.

I can’t forgive someone who keeps doing things, even justifying them with (his) religion or paradox enough, with what others do, although his religious book says otherwise and he claims do have raid it or that you should read it several times. Or that I have to be better than him. Why? I don’t get it. Why should I be better? In what? For what? What even is “being better”? I just was “better”, but he wants me to be better in what he thinks or wanted to be or others told him. And of course I won’t be better with whatever that is he or they want. Because it makes no sense. Not in the way they say it does, if even.

Bad comparison, but can you tell me in which way a smart phone is better than this old dial plate phone?

I am sure you have millions of things to say about how much better a smart phone is and I can say these things as well. But the thing is, it usually or always lies in the hands or eyes of the observer. Meaning, that in case you just want to talk with someone far away while being at home (or having access to a phone while being somewhere else), then this old phone would have done the job just fine. And the smart phone would have actually been not the smartest decision after all. Not only does it need electricity to run, has way too many functions (of which a lot are given multiple times – what the heck) and empties itself without even using it. Old phone 1, smart phone 0.

And yes, can program. And yes, I understand assembly code. thanks for asking. But can you?

And don’t say that you are smart and don’t need to understand it. I know myself that it is not necessary to understand it in order to use it or make a computer do what you want. But if you don’t know how it does something and if you can’t read what other programs do or be able to re-produce or reconstruct their structure and source code, then how should you know they “just” do what they are supposed to do? Not to forget hidden codes and processors and such things. I mean, would you question the number of chips on your motherboard or even look for them on your phone? No, of course not, I also don’t do that, but I still know what these things can do or could do.

It is also interesting how people need to know how weird theoretical stuff works, but not the things they use every day or may instead of learning about weird theories. Why isn’t it normal for children to learn about the technology they use in all detail? And I don’t mean it in a forced way, just in general. I got some of the knowledge in elementary school, but only because I was part of a special experiemental class or something. I later found out that other students had no idea about the technology and even we only learned the basics. But even that was more than most teachers knew and the whole region for sure. And that was just 15 years ago.

Now I don’t see much change in that.

Would the children actually know how these things work or if they would ask, also could get an answer and not this classic: “I don’t know how it works, it just works.” I even had to hear from an IT teacher (to be fair he had a lot to do and was actually educated as an electrician, when I remember correct).

The sad part is, that (according to me and maybe some other people) programming is easier and more logical than some people explain math. It is funny that at some point it was easier for me to program than to understand math (due to mental break down). And a lot of people still think you need to be good in maths in order to program or whatever. Depending on what you want to do with it, math of course is helpful and in some cases actually required. But at least for my part, math in computer science is way more logical and practical than what some people expect of children, while they would use calculators anyway…

I think the funniest thing was, that I always had a problem with logical thinking due to my traumas and countless other problems I got as a result of these.

Why was I still understanding even more than some teachers? While on the other hand being unable to make things with it, which were considered easy for most people?

Probably because I “felt” the computer and explored it inside my mind. Which means, that I knew what it was capable of and how it works and even how to do things, while the part responsible for doing the things were broken and or unavailable a lot of the time.

Without this, it could have been that I have made a lot of cool or weird stuff with computers in my schools or elsewhere, like others did. Instead I went further and understood my own mind, giving me the ability to understand the patterns of human actions and interactions and flaws in the overall structure and development of things.

When an operating system of a computer is confronted with a dead lock problem, what does it do or what does this mean?

It means that for example all hardware parts or processes the computer is dealing with either want something which is unavailable or have something, the other parts don’t need. Basically something like: The printer needs certain data, the program needs input, but there is another program currently running, waiting for the printer to finish printing (probably a bad example, I know, but yea). The the computer / operating system would try to find a solution, but since none of the components, parts, programs would change behavior and all wait for something which is not given, the computer gets into a dead lock.

And depending on the scenario, it could lead to a freeze or the computer trying to close not responding programs. Which then leads to the next problem, that you have to measure the time they were running and setting a time for them until forceful closure. But then some people think, but if it is an important task, it might need longer, so it needs special priority. And so on… the result is cancer or some call it Windows.

And yes, I still often use it, but I also use Linux. I just don’t care anymore …

Because when I try to get people to use something else than Windows or Google etc. they are like: “It is easy and everyone uses it” (or whatever)…

I have seen tutorials on how to write operating systems from scratch. Meaning that they used a little bit of assembly code and (some forms of) C or C++ and then booted a self written operating system.

And I tried it myself and also got it working, although I would suggest a virtual machine like with VirtualBox or something similar. By the way, it is free and easy to use, in case you have the required hardware (since some mainboards or chips don’t support it).

If you have never even tried to write your own operating system or understand what it is or how it works, then someone could sell you a puppet and tell you it is alive.

But it is scary, that some people actually expect their computers or phones to be alive or give them answers like a human. Don’t you think that is scary? Knowing that there could be a technical problem and then all of a sudden they do who knows what? Like with water damage and my mother’s old mobile phone called her boss or other people a douzen times without her doing anything. After it was dry it just worked fine. But I mean, that was a basic mobile phone with SMS, a calendar and just a basic system. So what could happen with a smart phone?

And yes, even he tried to find out who, how or where his mysterious news paper of tomorrow (or the future) was created. So you really should investigate the things you use or get on a daily basis. I mean of course at best more than that, but at least that / them. Since they are there any way and you have them anyway, so why not start with them, if you can?

I also don’t have an exo-skeleton standing around in my basement, but I have a few computers and phones and other old stuff lying around. And I have seen one guy even writing his own program to find and analyse hidden codes for some chines chips from the early 2000s. You might think, that it is not important now, since what he found is already 20 or more years old, but if you think like this, then you are toast my friend. Toast… I am telling you. But no, you don’t have to study engineering, be a programmer or anything to know these things, I also wasn’t and didn’t and still understood, found out and was able to do things. Curiosity and the need to learn or find out about things kept me going, even at times where I didn’t even remember my second name nor the reason for me getting out of bed or basically breathing.

But I also knew what happens to people who are too curious and who are too naive.

They might end up dead or locked away.

Which is a shame because it gives a signal to how actual intellect and kind people are seen and treated – as a threat or willingly sacrifice. At best to create technology or other things which will later mean their own death or whatever. Some people said, whether people working in the IT sector aren’t causing the end of their own existence in the long run. And sadly I agree, because those who actually question things, are seen as a problem, rather than a needed factor to regulate and stop madness. Because it is wanted or accepted. Otherwise it could happen that people realise that most of the rules they got told or convinced of make either no sense or can and are mainly used against them, while presented for them. Or they simply get changed over time, so a few people start well and think the laws and rules are fine, only to find them to be completely different, non-existing or slowly changed over the period of a few years or maybe decades. And since most people don’t really take time for any of these things and are instead busy playing games and just that or watching or reading etc. they don’t really see the real things happening. The important things. And then find themselves in a situation they thought was impossible, but I mean even in the last 20s people thought a second world war was impossible and that people can’t be that stupid. Even made movies and stuff against war. But hey, it happened anyway. Only that the war we have today, is another one, it is already here and always was. Although most people already have forgotten about it or maybe didn’t even know it was a thing (especially younger peopler who are not curious). I mean young people feel good to promote the environment and things, but then they don’t really understand what is going on, in some cases. There are always some like me no matter what age.

And it is not important how old you are or how long you lived. It is important that you are aware of your environment and that it gets altered constantly, while you don’t really do much to make this change. So it should raise a few questions. Because some centuries ago people changed the environment to build castles and such things. If they didn’t do it, no one would have done that for them. Which then would have meant that possible enemies or hungry wild animals (which had nothing to eat because a few “noble” people had fun killing or stealing all their food). And it was normal for people to build their own houses and such things.

Now it somehow happens “on its own”. Of course there are still people involved, but it all happens so fast and systematic that most people probably don’t even realise anymore why things are the way they are or how they happen and what for. I mean just this: “You have to get a job.” is questionable. Or “you have to get a partner.” and whatever. Why? And I mean why are there even books or people telling others on how to get friends or treat animals? Or was it children?

Give them food, a phone or tablet and a room and done. Go ape!


And no, I hope and don’t believe that it is this what they say, but instead other things which usually make no sense or are not practical. It was even interesting how people who couldn’t care for their own children wrote books about how to take care of children. And people bought it… Nice…

Forcing people to live and be individualistic, so they always have to be doing things on their own or whatever, is not good and can be toxic. But on the other hand forcing people to work with others, while they are usually better of alone, it seems, is also not good. Would people actually be able to figure things out on their own, they might actually become friends with some people and then respect each other and also learn from each other.

Why does this still not really happen or work? Because it is dangerous for people who want to have everything for themselves and think they are in the power to rule over all humanity (or whatever they think or want, if anything).


NOP = No operation

MOVZ = special MOVE

XOR = Exclusive OR

and so on.

Things I have read on my (old) smart phone during my train rides to school or work:









Why? For fun and because I wanted to know.

And no, I didn’t read all of them, in fact probably only the first one of these (guna).

But there actually was another pdf I got from something like this, if not from the same guy. I hope I still have it on my old phone and can find the source again. Because that thing was like a summary of everything you need to know. At least from a low level programming and basic hardware understanding.

It still didn’t give me the answer I wanted, but I guess I figured it out along the way.

The knowledge is out there, and sometimes maybe a little dusty, but still useful and needed more than ever.

Because you can’t trust a machine, just because it “usually” or for you does what it is supposed to do, while it could actually do things you don’t even know are a thing.

And yes, this is stuff which requires time and interest. But would your life depend on it, I guess you would be glad to have had these sources of information.

Instead people pay a lot of money (which always is a waste, since it is dust) and time to try to understand things someone else throws at them. You can’t no matter how much you pay or what you pay. But often you are asked to pay or forced to, that is something else and a crime, in my eyes. Knowledge like this is free and should be free and people who give it should be supported if they not already are.

I learned programming and such things mainly on my own through YouTube videos, such documents, a few examples and then trying things out on my own, changing them and trying to understand what does what. Usually I felt better when I was not dependent on other code, although I of course mainly use and used already given “frameworks” or base codes, since that is easy and also made sense at the time. I mean otherwise you basically would have a computer with a BIOS (basic input output system) telling you that there is no operating system and that you should please insert a boot device. No shit, that happens and was normal for people just a few decades ago or maybe even to this day.

A lot of people also use linux as a base system and then create their own based on that.

That is why there are so many different Linux distributions, I guess. And Linux systems are actually modular and can be changed easily in most cases and so on. At least easier than Windows and much more transparent.

But still, it is always good to know the basics.

You need electricity for it to work, don’t you?

Funny thing is, that one of the first computers made by a german guy called Konrad Zuse was actually a mechanical computer. And he knew in his head about a few mechanical parts which sometimes got stuck or had problems and could tell by the output. Of course his first constructions were not really useful it seemed, but they were without the need of electricity. Unlike the other approaches, as far as I know. Of course there have been others before these.

The sadest part about it all is, like mentioned by others (mainly women I suppose), that the human tries to create something he himself is or is capable of or could be. But I guess that probably mainly or only woman understand that, if they can and allow themselves to. Men typically have a harder time realising or even considering it. Although it makes sense and is only logical. Otherwise the creation would be smarter than the creator. Wouldn’t this be paradox? I mean in natural terms of course not, since the child can become more intelligent than the parents, but talking about non-biological or natural things like a computer. If a man-made device, a dead metal thing power by electricity would be able to do more than the human who created it. Then we really have a problem. It is like a puppet and the puppet player. The people know that the puppets are not really talking or moving on their own, but instead get moved by someone who then also makes them seem as if they are talking.

The same or something similar happens with computers and AI, although it is a whole new level.

Because these days the puppet plays the player. At least it seems this way in some countries and now look at the world. I guess the original puppet player either died or got crazy and then started to think that the puppets are actually alive or simply developed a life on their own.

Either way, it is weird that people even consider robots to teach children, while children can and always could learn on their own, as long as they would want to and have learning material.

I always wanted to learn. But damn, was it hard to understand that I was mainly alone with it. And also the understanding of learning. I mean, we had people who tried to teach how to learn. The heck…

It is like inception just with learning. If you already can’t learn on your own, then how should you be able to learn how to learn.


An interesting thing is, that I didn’t really read a lot and also only read because of teachers who wanted us to read books. So I at least read what interested me or seemed interesting for me, like sci-fi, fantisy and books about history or stories place around or within history events or worlds.

And well later on these computer things.

When I read something or watch something, or whatever, I usually finish it when I started it.

But I am often very picky and take a long time to take the time to actually do something. And when I do it, I do it or let it grow. I can start a book and then I need a year or two to read it. But I read it, which isn’t all that important.

Do you know that bothers me? That there are people who read books a day and maybe hundreds or thousands of books they read. But then you see them in basic jobs. So I asked myself, what did reading help them with? Did it get them anywhere? Obviously not, at least it didn’t seem like it. So why should it be important?

Yet it is seen as intelligent or something to read books.

When I read a book, usually very special books these days, I fully visualize the scenery and sometimes just let it be in front of my eyes for a while. This way it could take hours to just read a chapter or even a few pages.

I also try to see meanings and messages behind the actual story or find patterns and pay attention to details maybe not even the author themselves intended or thought about in this way. Since they might have used a detail just as a normal thing, since it fit the scenery or seemed to fit the character or story. I usully read the story behind the story or the author, if not even the author behind the author (if you understand).

So when someone writes a book, what matters to me is the author and to let everything the book or story gives me sink in. I guess that most people probably only read a story or book and take the literal words and maybe the ending or beginning as a way to value or mesure the outcome or worth of it. I don’t even know why some people read books or watch movies. I mean I get it, but itmakes me sad… (to say the very least).

Especially when then famous authors turn out to be scared and unsure about their own works, while I might have even read things they didn’t even see themselves. Of course through their words, but not in the way they recognise or thought about them. Then of course only if they really weren’t sure about what they were writing and not just pretended to not know, in order to not get in trouble or because they thought it might be crazy.

Reading or studying is not an equivalent for intelligent, wisdom or knowledge.

A boy from a village in Africa was able to build his own radio station out of garbage and stuff, while people here don’t even know that they could use their radios or (some) phones to do that as well. Or even how it is possible. To be honest, I also can’t do that, since it never interested me that much. Which is just more frustrating.

Even my pakistani uncle was telling his wife (one of my mother’s sisters) and probably the rest of the familiy that he doesn’t understand why we don’t do something with out lives here (Germany / western world) with all the knowledge, technology and possibilities. Well and then he ended up as a taxi driver himself. I think that says enough, doesn’t it?

Owning something is just an illusion or acceptance or ignorance of yourself or others around you.

When you understand than you can’t own something other than yourself, you see that you are not free because even that was taken from you.

Therefor someone who has nothing, owns everything there is.

Why? Because they know that they can’t have it.

Some people still think they need to own something or someone.

It is one thing to own things in a given system, to protect them, but another thing to believe in it.

When I talk about “my” property or “my” trees, I mean it in a way that they are on ground which is or was said to be maintained and owned by me, based on some papers and laws of some people.

I personally wouldn’t want this “ownership” nor need it and would have let the plants and animals live and grow as they want. So it is not only a shame, but a crime what my father did. But not because of the obvious thing by ignoring my property, but because he willingly destroyed nature said to be given under my arms, my responsibility and protection.

But like he reads his bible and religous people usually think, that they are the crown and top of creation and therefor can do or have to do everything. That they can and should eat animals, cut plants and stuff, since they are the superior force (or whatever). When you understand it in a way it might have been meant (in this one text) and would make sense, then the human would be meant to help plants and animals and protect them and enjoy their presence and what they can do, instead of making them do what some people want or think they have to do or be and want etc.

I mean my father basically said that nature is cruel as Himmler said, at least according to some recordings. But it doesn’t matter who said what in this case, because for me it is clear, that I was only able to live because of the plants and animals. And that there was respect, love and wonder around their existence and what they can do I wasn’t able to. At least not like them. That without trees or other plants I wouldn’t have have clean air to breath. And without animals they couldn’t spread and give fruits, at least some. So I knew that interfering with it made no sense, harming them made no sense and yet it was said to be normal, necessary and needed.

Of course at first I didn’t know, what do you expect from a child? But the more I understood and nonsense I experienced or wittnessed, the cleared it got.

The human wants to be important, while not being responsible. Mainly the man or dominant people.

This is why often actually intelligent people end up lost or doing boring or stupid jobs.

But hey, who listens to me anyway, am I right?

When you know that you don’t have to do anything, not even sleep, eat or drink (for a while), then you begin to understand that you are surrounded by a world and people who got told, trapped and convinced that they have to do certain things (e.g. get married, get children, get a job, …). With the only reason, to keep them busy.

Why? Well otherwise they could get behind the flaws and what other people do whether you like it or not. And how messed up and crazy everything actually is because some people like it this way.

Random guy: “Look, the woman screams, the loves it.”

Other guy: “Mine doesn’t do that, I think I am doing something wrong.”

My brain:

People: Stop writing or talking, do something.

Me: I tried, but they wouldn’t listen. And why don’t you do something as well?

People: You first (so we can laugh about your failure).


And the most misunderstood thing is, that you have to love or find love from elsewhere, when your very existence actually wasn’t able without it. So how should someone else be able to give you what you already had? But don’t get it wrong. We can and should give, if we can, as long as we don’t forget that we are also loved and worthy of our own love. And that in case your love was robbed or couldn’t really be, you can get it, feel it and have it again. And that others can indeed give it and help you recover it.

But it doesn’t work, as long as it is seens as a business or unimportant thing. We are talking about life.

And how strange it seems, while it shouldn’t be, but is. Not because of us, but some who couldn’t have enough.

Because usually children these days (or usually in general) have no time to really develop on their own and understand things free from weird concepts, dogmas and manipulation. So they either break, give in or up and take or do what is asked of them. And then they get older but not really grow (inside) or get any wiser or anything. This is why my father is a little boy although he already passed 60 years and my mother is even 63. She was stronger and wiser and was able to develop more than him. Due to her pressure, trauma and other things and also exhaustion from work she often is like a little child as well, at least she seems like it.

At least, unlike my father, she knows and understands a lot more and because of this also was able to give me the ability to think and learn for myself. Because when I was little or not even born she mainly listened to her senses and not to what others told her was necessary or whatever. And also tried to support my intellect and talked with me normal.

I really hate it when parents talk to their babies with non-sense. This way they take them the ability to actually learn the language and develop necessary cells for intellect and understanding. It is even shown or seen normal to talk with babies as if they are stupid (making these weird sounds and words). I could scream when I see it, but I actually can’t (usually) and it wouldn’t change a thing.

My mother can fight back out of it again, like I did, since she already did a few times, as well as I did. And sometimes we can talk on a similar level almost. But then she is a little child again…

But my father, I think he never really was able to work out of it, at least not in a healthy way. Which then probably messed him up completely. Since he don’t even really believes in his own religion, but forced us to follow it. Well, my mother was already following it her way, but yea…

I have my own ways and when something wasn’t good for me or others I usually notice it soon.

Although it being not good for others is difficult for me to tell, since there is so much wrong and not good, that it is actually weird to think that I could make it much worse (nor better).

On my own I can feel good and with a few real friends I would probably even feel somewhat safe.

It can’t be cold and can’t be a “nice to have” kind of thing. Because “nice to have”, is nothing you actually need.

When you don’t feel inspired, supported or understood, then where is the point?

It doesn’t mean that everyone has to understand your knowledge of quantum computers (or whatever), but that you know that they trust in your understanding and knowledge and you can do the same with them. For me that is “understanding” and also maybe being interested a bit in it as well. A long the way my mother even learns or learned a few english words and even things about computers. She just couldn’t do anything with it usually, but it still interested her a little bit. And according to herself, she was scared of technology, even up until her 30s. And now thanks to me she even needs it (well… maybe not the best outcome for the moment, but meh…). At least she survives this way for now, although it all really isn’t how I would have imagined and wanted things. Luckily some crazy people knew better and gave us this cool dystopian “masterpiece” of a world. More like master shit show, but hey…

What did computers give me, what humans couldn’t? – Freedom.

Why is this only partially true? – I couldn’t create them on my own.

Is it important? – It shouldn’t be, would humans have given me freedom.