This year, in the first half, my mother, one of her sisters and I went on a day trip towards the Bodensee (big lake in the south of Germany with borders of Switzerland and Austria as well). I wrote about it somewhere here, but don’t know what I wrote and what I didn’t write. So maybe I already wrote most of this, but I had the feeling that I should write something about this day, especially about the apes.
Because besides the water and landscape and a lot of overwhelming thoughts and feelings, I made some very scary observations. While my aunt and mother were somewhere else, I walked around the area on my own, I felt safer this way and also wanted to see the things I wanted to see. The water, nature, some people and just relax for a while, watching waves and everything around me.
Besides the already on going pandemic, the streets were full and people were walking around almost as if nothing changed, besides the masks here and there of course.
When I stood at the water side I watched some people driving with bikes, others walking or running. Some hand their phones in their hands or pockets, listening to music or making photos. Others just walked and talked.
A little girl who was also walking around and was running in front of her mother (I assume) noticed me.
One guy with a car asked me where he could get to the water, he probably thought I was from around or knew it, but at that point I also had to first find a way on my own.
Most people probably didn’t even notice me, or if so, then only as someone in the way or just another one standing or walking. I didn’t really feel comfortable, at least this child gave me hope that day.
A young seeming woman was jogging past me, she already seemed fit and also didn’t seem as if she needed it because she had too much weight or something. I would have said it was either okay or maybe even too few weight. But as long as she felt good, that would be of course up to her and is not up to me to decide. It seemed as if she wasn’t really there, listening to music on her phone.
When we went to the zoo, famous for the apes, also called “Affenberg” (ape hill / mountain), it was very weird.
People put on and off their masks at some points, maybe even unconsciously. I was totally confused about the whole situation.
When we entered the area with the apes, there were a few of the keeper / caretaker or personal in general.
One of them was pointing towards one of the apes and was talking about what they eat and do. When we walked past it and the next people arrived, I heard her say almost the same to them, as if she was a robot or something. I personally just wanted to observe and maybe enjoy the view. Okay “enjoying” a zoo is difficult, but at least the apes were having a big area where they could walk around free and also steel your backpack, if you would have bad luck and maybe something to eat in there.
Besides me feeling like in chernobyl or in a camp or something, while having a lot of thoughts inside and almost freaking out, from outside I was probably completely calm. I mean, that was usually the case, just a natural thing almost…
I saw a few apes here and there walking around, some ran away, other just minded their own business.
Then there was this one ape. He looked at the people walking by and then, when he saw me, he came towards me and sat down the the wooden fence (for the people, so they would stay on the path) and looked at me and I looked him in the eyes.
It was a special moment in a way, it felt so intense, while everyone else probably didn’t even notice it, since they were busy listening to what the caretakers talked about or when they were trying to find another ape they wanted to show (or something). After this moment, the ape “walked” (or how you say that for apes ^^) down the fence a little looked around a little and maybe back at me again and then went back into the tree area.
This ape saw and felt something no one, not the other apes nor the people felt or saw. Maybe he was confused to see a beard or thought I was one of them. But for me and maybe him, it was more than that. (At least I think I had a beard that day.)
When the walk continued, we also came past some other apes. Some of them were just sitting there and looking into the nothingness of their existence, I assumed. When we were sitting down on one of the benches, the people on the bench a few meters away got a “shower”. One of the apes was sitting over them on a tree branch and peed on them or near them.
After the sitting part, I saw a young ape sitting on a branch which was crossing the path, although in the air of course. (By the way I don’t know ape genders and didn’t pay attention to that.) This young one looked very sad and scared up there, almost as if it was on a bridge.
In the background I heard chainsaws, I mean, not shit, real chain saws. I even saw some of them how they were cutting down trees in the distant. And I asked myself two things. Why do they cut trees in a park for animals? and Why do they do it in the middle of all what is happening? – well and maybe why they did it in general, but hey…
(Says the one in a house… yea…)
Okay, so it was a pretty weird experience and at some points I felt as if this one ape was hoping to get help from me or maybe answers. I am not sure, but there was something about this ape.
Most people didn’t notice me and if so, maybe not really, a child did and this ape. What does this tell us?
And I mean, they even installed screens… FUCKING big TV screens in front of the zoo to show people how to wear a mask, besides the signs and stuff. I mean… why do you even need such things? Besides that people won’t pay attention to it anyway and only those who probably die anyway.
It was even said that we shouldn’t infect the apes.
My head was like:
And I have an immune system, thanks for asking.
It is almost as if most people are not really there, are just like programs, without understanding anything.
Well, the probably must have learned that in school or at work or something.
It is good to be alive.
I mean, yea… when I am alone in the forest, it really is, with the (more or less) wild animals and fresh air.
Do you know what I asked myself in all these movies in which people got told to stand on a wall or in a line to get shot? Or when they got told to dig their graves and stuff?
I thought, when they were about to die anyway, why didn’t they at least try to fight back?
I mean, then the others would not only have a lot more work and problems, but also might lose.
The message was probably, that most people are already dead and just wait for the final “blow”.
Or in other words, they were trained to be machines and therefor got trapped inside their own body.
It is way cheaper to have human slaves, than to produce machines to do the same work. Eh .. WHAT?!
And yes, I know that I am using technology.
But in an age in which people expect technology to develop itself and also solve all problems, I am not sure whether that is a problem or a good thing.
If a few people wouldn’t have given me some technology (although maybe for other purposes) and I wouldn’t have been interested and curious about finding out how all of it works, then what?
Telling me that I use technology as well, so I can’t say something against it, is like telling me, that we all have to destroy nature and oh how dare to use evil for a good purpose. I mean people who complain about people like me, using their stuff to make things right, is really sad and “cheap”. What do they expect? That I throw stones at people, so they wake up? Or that I scream and scream, so I will get taken to a mental hospital or in prison? THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!?
And by the way, you can also make technology which is okay and not endlessly consuming.
Whatfor do you need technology anyway?
It began with light (I assume) and now we have anything but light.
People: But look, I have all these lights around my house. LOOK!
And I just see what my town did with one of their Christmas trees, they fully covered in in neon colors. I almost wanted to lose weight instantly. 😖🤢