Things to think about

One time, there was were a some young people removing roof tile from one mans roof. He and his wife woke up from the nose. But instead of complaining or calling anyone, he told his wife to prepare some breakfast, while he went outside and talked with them. Then they all ate breakfast together and later the young people put the roof together and probably felt ashamed.

Another man got home from somewhere and saw how a few people were stealing some of his things. He walked towards them and asked whether he could help. Then he helped them putting his stuff on their truck and let them go. A long time later, maybe years, one or maybe more of these men came back to him and apologized and said that when he found out that this man was the one they were stealing from, it didn’t let them sleep well because it just made no sense that he would help them and let them go.

Then there were a few men in prison because of their belief. They wanted to convert some of the other prisoners and even said that they wouldn’t eat until they would convert. For their own naivety and unknowing, the others seemed to have started to change, but soon after all that it was back to how it was before.

Another man was also in prison because of his belief. He got told that he was not allowed to speak to the others about it or such things and he didn’t. Instead he bought something special to eat from his hard earned money and shared it with everyone. The some of the others asked him why he did that and so he told them about Jesus and told a story, but just answered their question, since he wasn’t allowed to speak for himself.

My father goes to some church or gatherings for most of his life, since childhood. He even gave flyers or booklets to foreigners who didn’t even speak his language, when we were actually out on a family day, standing next to him, feeling weird, awkward, wrong. I wanted to run away or scream or just fall asleep.

There once was a preacher, my mother could tell his name, since I got most of these things from her, what she remembers. This man once walked down a street or a place and saw a guy standing on a soap box yelling things against church, God and such things. He listened to this man for a while and then asked him whether he could also say something. I am not sure whether the box guy knew that he was standing next to a preacher or not, but he let him speak. Then this preacher got on the box and also yelled: “Away with this God!” Then the people who knew that he was a preacher were confused. And then he explained, that this God they are yelling at doesn’t exist. So he was on their side.

Then you have a pope who says some Latin (or whatever) words and gets praised by millions, since he is the speaker for God.

It is interesting that people with scrolls giving hope were hated in ancient times, even killed and hunted, just because they didn’t believe in these man-made Gods and the system they created. Kind people, maybe sometimes lost or confused people, people with dreams, with beating hearts and hope, although they knew that they could die because of it.

Some of us call them Christians. But because of all what was, I don’t really relate to it because anyone can call themselves anything. Basically what happened with the Roman Empire later on, when it turned into the Holy Roman Empire, since Empire wasn’t good enough anymore. It was that time, when the bible was put together, as far as I know. This is why it is so paradox and confusing. A lot of books and texts were left aside or got removed later on, when they didn’t serve the purpose anymore. Words changed, removed altered meaning.

It basically was like taking some of your poems, some news articles, a little historic texts, some sci-fi story and a little bit of actual events or wishes and put it together and then call it bible. Which actually means book, as far as I know, so it was called holy book.

The people back then who actually were writing some of it or living through it, they had dreams, visions and also had to have some guts from time to time, to stand against people way more powerful than them, at least when it came to their rank or status in the given society. Even Roman soldiers or governors were sometimes shook by these people and rethought their life and it’s meaning or some people like Saul(us) who first were out to catch these same people or even kill them and then spoke for them himself afterwards, even changed his name into Paul(us). He was hit by lightning and got blind for some days when he encountered God, according to what I have learned.

“Never judge a book by its cover.”

I think this quote could also be read like this: “Never judge […] by […] cover.”

In other words, when you know that a dreamer is actually someone who is in danger or endangered, as you could say, you know what I am talking about.

I had some tears when I wrote some of this, but again, I don’t write about my tears because it means anything. Because often I just can’t and you can’t measure or decide upon things based on someone’s (amount of) tears anyway.

Why are dreamers or lost people often hated by today’s church or society, although it often presents itself as if it is working for them? They know the truth or parts of it and are part of it.

This is why I love a lot of video games, a lot of movies, songs and all kinds of other things, like poetry, paintings and so on. Especially things which might be hated, avoided or feared by others because I know why they came to be or at least can relate to them way too well.

Laugh about me, hate me, make me feel horrible, if you have to, but it wouldn’t be much use, wouldn’t change much for you or me. I am not here to play a saint, I am not here to play the smart guy or be anyone. It is just that I speak what comes in mind. Sometimes this is pure madness, when I can’t resist. Sometimes beautiful things it seems, while I seem to not be the one who should have them or write or say them. But then who is, who should? A bunch of hypocrites who don’t even know what an actual dream is, while creating a lot of them for themselves by destroying everything on this earth, including themselves?

I am not here to be a good guy or something. I am just here to make people think, see and maybe remind some about things they might have long forgotten. And I was never alone. I can even find love for demons, that’s probably why they run away from me or want to break me. Whatever a demon is in the end.





There is a whole universe and we couldn’t even find a way to (actually) live together here.

My mother read a comment under one of the videos she watched and it said something like: “Why can’t we just stop fighting and care for the planet we live on and help each other?”




When can I stop writing?

X: Just stop, because of you everything breaks.



I once learned that putting the right amount of acid and leach together will turn it into water again.

But don’t take my advise on that one and better do some research. I just remember that we made some kind of experiment related to it in chemistry class and at the end the teacher said that it was now water and could be used again (in case everything went as it should with the right amount of things).

Sadly we have acid rain and toxic waste lying around everywhere.

We can change it, if we change in a direction without the need for all these spider webs.

But the actual spiders are welcome.

Spider: Good!

Did you know that there are spiders which can change their skin color based on the color of the surface they are on? They are called crab spiders.

Someone: Crap?

No, crab, like Mr. Crabs.

Someone: Ooooh.

And the are actually very nice and my mother likes them. We had some of them in our garden. or saw some here and there.

I also have one spider living in the basement by the shower and sometimes it watched me showering.

It isn’t clear whether she likes me or not, but I guess it is way safer for the spider to be inside now. Otherwise she might freeze. Spiders do freeze, don’t they?

But yea… things should be different.

And don’t you call me names.

I can do that myself.

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