When you know what happened in old times, you know well what happens.

The clip I showed you or you might be about to watch is what reality vs. propaganda look like.

Happy vs. depressingly strict

This is an image which was said to be taken at the place I have been just recently.

You know, police and guards and walls and stuff.

What a time to live in.

If even half of what I write here is true, then it is enough to be worried.

Just 1% of what I wrote to be true, would be enough to make some people shit their pants.

But the problem is, that most of them just see pictures like the one on google, some details, some information about “refugees get everything here” and that “we live in a free country” or world. And they move along.

Reality is pretty messed up. This is why I say. “You know nothing, when you haven’t at least watched X-Files and Stargate”. I mean sure, you can know that the world is illusion and shit, but then you might not know why, how, how much and what. Meaning, you might not be able to think properly or think at all for yourself because you are trapped in a believe system (because it is, no matter what they tell you) a belief they sell. It shouldn’t be this way, of course, but it is, otherwise we wouldn’t be in a situation like the one we are in right now. A situation I saw coming around ten years ago, a chinese high ranking general has written a book about and spoke out against it, now seeing it in action and old nazi criminals laughing from their distant hideouts or unknown graves.

It is a time in which you believe you are free, when further from the truth it is.

A time in which you are expected to trust devices, like this one or the one I use.

An it isn’t the devices fault to be used or built the way it is and was, but it would be your choice to not use it.

Or isn’t it your choice?

I have a choice, but do you have a choice?

The choice should be to decide against evil.

So if you don’t know what evil is, you have to learn what it is about.

A human needs to see, what God saw already.

And yes, it is an altered bible quote, but the question should be: WHY?

But I didn’t saw my death nor did I knew all there is when I was a baby, just a lot more than expected.

Therefor I knew that I of course wasn’t God.

But then, when I thought about it again, the logical approach would be, that I indeed am the master of my own body (and more?) and therefor a little God.

Although when it would be up to me, I would be good without any powers or knowledge, be it given by others or thought through by myself or flying by from somewhere, maybe others thinking about it.

As I write, I type and only parts of it might be just repetition.

Repetition of an old repeating process of the same problems.

I was raised by a devil and a broken angel.

I was raised by myself.

I was raised by those who weren’t like the others.

When my father would be my father, then only for that matter, that he was intelligent, but was hiding it and pretending to not be or breaking beneath it. That might be the only common thing I have with him. And then, it might just be coincidence.

Theoretically my father could be doing who knows what and know whatever.

Sometimes we saw him driving around in his car, sometimes even walking around with a briefcase although he isn’t working anywhere or shouldn’t have any use for such a thing.

He can be very secret about things, I wonder why he wasn’t hired for secret agencies.

Maybe because of his highly unstable characteristics such as spontaneous violence, aggression, manipulation and irrational behavior?

The fun part is, that I of course can fully rationalize everything and can tell a completely normal story.

That he just had a traumatic childhood, that my mother had a lot of trauma and that they somehow met each other by “coincidence”. Although my mother even had a dream about it before she met him, while she also had psychosis about skeletons telling her that she deserves to be down in a hell hole, while she was living in a “Stasi” like sect with microphones, spying cats and religious people. (that happened)

Sometimes it might be that all of this was just set up for my mother.

Sometimes it might be, that all of this was just set up for me.

But then I would be crazy and you would be thinking that.

And who knows, it might be true, if this would be a movie or a normal story.

Freaking out is not part of this story although it is of course happening a lot to me or maybe you, when I am alone, physically alone.

The interesting thing about it is, that I am not physically alone when I have “my cat” (technically it is me and my mother’s cat, but practically we are the cat’s “pets” 😀 ) and when I am in the forest around the village.

I am never really alone, but there is of course this feeling of being alone when there is nothing fully alive or somewhat on my level. The trees are on my level, animals are, some humans might be and parts of me might be as well.

Now you might think, wait, parts of you are on the same level as you?! That makes no sense because you talk about yourself and can’t be separate from that.

Of course, but when you are sometimes this and sometimes that, it can be difficult to always be on the same level.

When I try to understand the actions of someone, I obviously can’t think like someone else and then I might not think on the level I usually am. While then of course sometimes I also need breaks, a lot of breaks and I just want to relax from these minds. So I might end up on a level primitive enough to be a human prior to civilization. But then even those might have been more on my level, than some of those who think they are on top of things, while in reality they are actually falling down, while believing they are climbing up. So those who fall down, might be the actual climbers since they keep falling and yet they are here, while others climb and climb away from here, while they might have never really been “here”, in the full scale of things.

You might ask: “Why do you share and write these confusing, shocking and irritating things?”

But I could ask the same question over and over again to so many people out there.

They say they want peace, they say they want freedom, they say that they don’t like injustice, but then they all feed the opposite by not speaking up. And with “all”, I don’t mean “all”, since otherwise I would have long taken my own life. But enough, to have considered it.

When you are too intelligent, you might think that taking ones life is nothing, means nothing and is in the “grand scheme of things” just a “necessary evil” or maybe “a fun little experiment”.

But when you understand that it is boring to see people die and boring to see people kill and torture and scare others, you must understand. When it is boring to kill, when it is boring to watch such things, what would be a possible solution?

In a dark way of thinking you might first make someone feel good to later make them feel real bad or maybe then kill them or make them kill themselves, since that would “of course be fun”. I hope you understand that it obviously isn’t and shouldn’t be anywhere near that or related to it.

I wasn’t born as a monster and I refused to become a monster when it was possible.

The option to kill myself was always there and of course the option to do harm to others.

But I had no reason for harming others because it was pointless and painful.

I had experienced it enough on my own, so why should I do something which made me hate myself to someone else, when there already was enough of this hate and problems out there?

The thing is, that as long as I wasn’t the biggest evil out there, there must obviously be something bigger.

Now there is a question of a more religious nature although evil of course exists.

If a being with the powers of the devil would instead decide to be and do good and not just fake it, would it be ethical?

In case you struggled with the word “ethical”, I am there with you.

I mean, it is basically like asking someone whether it was ethical to support unethical work secretly or in public after the holocaust with people who worked in the holocaust on the evil side to create a “better” future.

Even my mother heard stories from relatives or some who worked or knew people who worked for some labs or services and that they were planning to create slave humans.

Interesting that this was some decades after the holocaust.

You know that the candle is not the fire you made possible when the bees weren’t able to give you their stolen gift. Like poison the words, like rats the minds, like visions the voices, but no one could tell. Will the evil remain, or the prophecy call it in vain.

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