Burned and forgotten

Has seen it all.

Can’t speak about it.

Is not important or needed here.

Was ready and capable of everything, as a kid.

Is only an idiot and hopeless mad guy now.

Intelligence or wisdom aren’t good, when you were born into madness.

You know what is good for you, you know what is good for others, but no one would let you and you don’t need it for yourself.

So fire it is, fire it is because no one wanted the water and it wasn’t for me.



It is so sad that I can see all the good things, that I can understand all the important things and the irrelevant things. That I can see wonderful things, but it is all dying after all.

And so am I.

Some people get born weak, helpless and unknowing.

I got born knowing, strong and confident.

The older I got, the weaker I am.

And I think that whatever this is I was doing or trying, was just a bad joke.

If you don’t know what I went through, don’t tell me where I could get help.

It was this which made me this way, these words, these “offers” these endless cycles, while it was clear where the actual problems were, not inside me. Otherwise it would only make sense, that I would have gotten stronger out of it and done what I wanted, when I had the chance for it.

Why is it that “everyone” knows what is going on, but not many really understand it?

Why is it that “everyone” wants to live, but no one sees how simply and easy it could be.

I am dying because others, willingly or not, are going out into the cities to “never” return.

I am going crazy because people search for food, where not even rats would go.

I am broken because no matter what I start, it either fails, gets lost or causes more problems for everyone.

I better be born like my grandfather, blue without breathing and instead of him, I would have died.

Maybe then my mother would have gotten far away from here, maybe helped some people, since she really did so and can.

I only burden her, even my father is sometimes more a help it seems, although he creating this misery and caused all the problems. His father caused it, and then the father before, the “great” wars…

And now we are in another one it seems.

If I could turn into a giant tornado, I would probably destroy all the cities and trains and such things.

I think it only didn’t happen because then a lot of innocent or undecided people would die as well.

I am really not sure, I gave up again tonight, since I really don’t see the good “ending” at the moment.

When you see the development of naive or evil people and how they don’t even know anymore what to do about it or how to live differently, it seems, that Nero might be coming around the corner soon.

I mean you have seen and heard that scientists didn’t even really check the soil all this time, while for decades people were putting all kinds of chemicals in there, planting genetic modified crops, which can’t be reused and all kinds of plants and animals are dying out.

But some people are like: “We don’t see a problem here, the values in our documents and databases say, that everything is in the green.”

What the data actually looks like:

What they were looking at the whole time:

Companies and Governments: See, I told you the data was green.

People: *panic*


But I mean I watched this movie / series “The Triangle” when I was watching TV in this room I am in now, only as a child. Probably in 2005, since it was released there, but I don’t know about the german version.

I mean I was 7-8 years old when this was released and I have not seen all of it, since it was on TV and I could only watch at my grandfather’s and so on.

When I saw this, I was like: holy hell…

Maybe it explains a few things. But don’t get it wrong, it was in a good way because I thought, hey, there are actually people out there who are worried about our future (and such things).

But I think one of the best movies I still couldn’t find, it was an older movie I think, but that is relative. At least it must have been from the late 90s or early 2000s and was about a few people who were fighting an AI which got out of hands. The guy who programmed it actually got killed by it in a plane crash, in which the AI uploaded itself to the board computer and air control system. I think it played a specific music track, since that was the way it was infecting things and was disguised with. So it seemed like a music disk, but actually had a virus which was this AI (or part of it). In the end the people who got behind it tried to contact the programmer and were talking with him via video chat, while he actually was already dead because of the plane crash. And after a while of talking they noticed that something was off and then the AI revealed itself and they knew the video was fake. This thing had hacked almost everything, traffic lights (pretty easy, children can do that), water supplies and energy related systems (is also not too hard, I have heard and seen from a few people) and so on. There was total chaos.

And I think at some point a guy in a wheelchair knew where the main source or “core” of this AI was and got in there. I think he was able to shut that thing down, but died trying because he got a big load of electricity.


I mean, there even have been people officially talking about these kind of things and people where showing off what they found during their investigations and how terrified they were.

And when I heard that my former boss once was also working together with a nuclear power plant (when I remember correct), I asked what he was doing there. And it turned out he was helping them with office products / software and such things. Then I found out that they had internet in there and I was like, man, the movies were too kind with people… (I hope you understand what I mean).

So basically a kid could have hacked a nuclear power plant and then maybe accidentally caused another Chernobyl. I mean, I of course always hope that they didn’t connect the actual power plant control with the internet, but you know how these people are. “We need to be sure that the systems are running! So better let us watch them from home, but we need internet for that. We need a safe connection!” And then the IT people get in, and safe the day because they used a super secure encryption technology.

Which just reminded me of a funny incident in IT school, when we had to write an encryption software and then at some point we had a bug. If you would encrypt the original message several times you got the original message again. xD Well, yes it was just a test and not an encryption which was used. But I mean even Ceasar started with shifting letters on a stick. And you know how “modern” some computers are.

Bob: Steve, can you please insert the disk? The computer needs additional data.

Steve: I don’t see any disks, neither these big ones, nor any circle shaped ones.

Bob: But it says “please insert disk 31 to proceed”.

Steve: Oh damn… they didn’t have disks here, so they used a custom solution. Look…

Bob: Holy crap, they really used paper stripes and then created a modular decoder to translate it into disk protocol so the computer thinks it is a floppy disk.

Steve: Exactly…

Bob: Don’t tell me the paper stripes were in the box I just gave my son to play with.

Steve: Yep…

Bob: Oh god…

Nuclear power plant system: “PLEASE INSERT DISK 31! HEAT LEVEL ABNORMAL! DANGER!”

Steve: Yep…

Bob: Can you please say something else.

Steve: Ye… We are so dead.

Bob: Can’t we just pull some switch or turn it off somehow?

Steve: DO I LOOK LIKE AS IF I KNOW THAT?

Bob: Well, yea… it reads “Supervisor” on your borrowed suit. Supervisor on the wall, who is the dumbest of them all?

Steve: I really am not up for jokes right now.

Footsteps getting closer.

Brian: Look what I made with the garbage papers, dad.

I just made a few new holes and now it looks like letters.

Bob: You idiot because of you we will all die now!

Steve: You really shouldn’t bl…

Bob: DON’T TELL ME HOW I SHALL TALK WITH MY …

Nuclear power plant system: HEAT LEVEL REACHED CORE MELTDOWN! WARNING! CORE MELTDOWN IMMINENT! WARNING! …

Welcome home…

And then some people try to tell me, that people are not critical enough.

Then I tell them whether they know Stargate, X-Files, some games and so on and they have no idea what I am talking about. And I think, what do they actually mean, when they say “critical”? What do they know?

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