I set the posts on private, except the poems and some stories.

Should you want one of the others public again, let me know.

This is really something which is up to the reader.

If I would have had my peace and freedom, I wouldn’t have written anything here.

I don’t need public attention or such things, I don’t like that.

For me it was just a trial to scream a last time and show (some) people what was going on inside me and maybe around them. And also what some other people think or say.

I hope some people have learned a few things or I don’t know…

I will now probably get back into my completely useless state of distracting myself.

Again, if any of the posts which are “private” now did help you, let me know, then I can set them on public again. For me personally it just stays the same, that I am not really wanted or needed here. I know that I am needed here to help others, I know that, but there just isn’t enough power in me to do that.

I grew beyond myself last year and reached levels of consciousness I couldn’t handle well.

I was able to find back to myself, but the timing was bad as usual.

Let me know if you need something, but I am done now, I guess.

Don’t think that I would take back everything, just because I set things on private.

I would only take back posts which really made no sense in the end, even to myself.

The lists will stay on my YouTube channel.

I am doing this because I feel exhausted and defeated (for now).

And because I am sure that probably most people didn’t understand what I tried to tell.

If they did, then it is great and I hope they are doing great, as well as the others of course, but it just isn’t enough to read or look at something and then only pay attention to a few words or graphics or whatever.

Those who see, know what I mean.

But I guess we have too few.

I didn’t want to open up, I didn’t want to write and mix all these things which made no sense.

But I wanted to show the injustice.

Because I can’t be seen stable, able to take responsibility or be taken serious, I thought it might be better to give up on it (from my side) and let others decide.

I really don’t believe that I will survive this year or if so, feel good at the end.

For others who need support, I might stand up now, but for myself I won’t.

Because (without an exception) each time I did, it ended in some form of chaos or more trouble in the end.

I will and can try to protect myself, keep myself safe, but I am no one you should look up to and I am used to be called a fool. Let’s see what this year brings and then I might take action again.

So far it only brought even more misery, but on the other side also as a result of this some good things or reminders of things we should really solve or care about now (e.g. bees / insects, forests / plants, (human) rights, …).

It seems that in the following years things will be decided, put into place and forced into action.

And one thing is for sure, you really can’t threaten me with death because this broken lie of a life is what threatens me enough and that so many people are dying, so many animals get slaughtered and so many plants and insects die or other animals die out as well.

They always want more. MORE! But they only get less and less. Sure more problems, but what we need are solutions.

It seems as if things are finally about to change, but so far I don’t really see it.

So I still stand to my saying: “The world never changed, it only looks different.”

And with “world” I mean the human fabricated society and such things, not earth.

Because earth really changed a lot, especially in recent times.


I will maybe go through the posts and decide whether I might set some of them on public again.

But right now I don’t feel well, which also was the reason for this action.


I really don’t want something worse than WWII, but I guess we are already in the middle of it. (Besides the ignorance which followed afterwards.)



A lot of people are getting deported from Germany (or maybe other countries) into regions which are unsafe (for them).

Even people who have lived there for decades.

And as long as climate change or the environment are profit oriented things and not something which concerns everyone (especially those who should know better), then yes, we might end up having a dusty future, as a lot of people already mentioned or presented.

But since a lot of people don’t watch (underground) sci-fi or other great movies set in history or such things, they only judge or assume based on what is mainstream or said about these things.

People had to flee into sci-fi to write about reality and of course add a few things, like aliens and such things.

Although it depends on what is added as disguise and what might actually be more of an important truth or possibility.

What would you do, if you wouldn’t be able to talk about important things publicly or in a serious manner, since no one would understand or believe you?

And no, this doesn’t mean that everything is true, but it means that you should be open for it and think for yourself whether it might be at least possible or not.

Because if you would for example have a small village in the middle of nowhere, you know everyone there, you know what people do, at least you could, if you wanted to and would be able to overlook everything.

So if then someone would say: “There is a gun factory in xyz’s basement!”

You could simply check on it and see whether it is true or not.

But with the situation in China, you know how things can turn out.

And I don’t want to end up as number on a screen, although technically we already are and always were.


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