Muhammad Azhar Shah

Edit: I updated the auto-translation of the previous post about this case with the first email. It really was necessary in some cases, since I used a little slang or short words which weren’t translateable.

Previous post – Germany is waking up?

I already wrote two Emails because of him, have signed a lot of petitions.

But nothing changes.

This man tried to kill himself because of this not long ago and is in isolation in deportation prison around a month.

So he not only wanted to kill himself because it seemed hopeless, he also is put into isolation because of this.

How does that make sense?

Like: “Oh, you are alone and feel alone because we are assholes? Well, now let’s just put you into an isolation cell to make you feel even more alone. HAHA.”

At least this is how it feels and seems…

And he was said to be deported multiple times.

This is why it is so important to stop the deportation process as a whole. At least in Germany and especially now!

Because otherwise this man is really dead.

In case I don’t get a trustworthy answer and see him free, I might have to drive to this place and kindly beat up some people.

Even if I die.

You know what?

The same would be for the families here in my village. Would do the same.

I probably have to drive there tomorrow or actually in some hours, since Monday will be too late and it is already Sunday here.

And the thing is, I would also rip my ID card in half or pieces in front of those who want to drag him away.

Because if he has to go (in case he would still be alive on Monday, I hope he is), I have to go with him.

I just hate it, that I am feeling so weak and terrified.

Not because of consequences for me, you know my stand, I am already dead for that matter, so they can’t kill me, only my body.

But because I fear that I won’t be able to go there, that I won’t be able to help this man or anyone, like usually.

I don’t really help or do I? Just writing things, trying to share things, but I am not really as strong as I should be. Not to how I used to be as a kid.

Any way. I wanted to stop using my computer for a while now, but because friends, young people were struggling and I also felt the need to continue, I didn’t.

Maybe today we will see whether I really am the idiot and coward I became or whether I actually do something or at least go there and try my best. I mean I really wanted to die for so long, but this man shouldn’t die. Neither here nor anywhere else, not now.

I mean people even have a job for him, somewhere to stay and all. Just the police or some crazy politicians want him there and probably dead.

Why? Because he wrote that Kashmir should be free and not part of Pakistan.


I can’t go to the U.S. or other countries who do similar things because they are all the same in my eyes. Not the people on the bottom or the streets, I am talking about those who make such decisions, who run this shit show.

If they would shoot me or anything, I at least died for a good cause and not just sitting around, waiting to die because I can’t do this anymore either way.

I want to live and this is my problem.

So I don’t know. I don’t know. And I am shaking here.

This place, in case he is still there, it is 2-3 hours away from where I live, when I take the car.

This is so crazy … what these people do.

And I don’t know, I also have others who might need me. But only writing won’t help forever. And it doesn’t really make me feel as if anything is changing for the better. At least not really. Sure here and there are people fighting, it seems, but at the end, I really feel like in this dystopian world since my childhood. Because I have already seen how it all would end. Luckily you see such things to make a difference or at least try to.

And I have seen the end of all life on earth and how I tried to tell people, but no one believed me, everyone believed science, believed machines, believed authorities and then they killed everyone and I couldn’t do anything about it.


It doesn’t matter whether in your village or town everything might seem normal or quiet or whatever.

At some point you might be dead without knowing?

Or some people knock on your door and tell you, that they want to help you, like my father. :;D

Maybe you disappear during a walk, on the way to work.

As the people said, we shouldn’t use this data they already collected and are collecting or could collect, but to be honest, who will stop them. Do you? Would I?

It doesn’t matter whether those who invented it, didn’t want to use it this way, it doesn’t matter whether the companies collecting such data want to use it or not. Just having it is already a problem.


People: But why would anyone want to know my daily routine?

Hitman: I don’t know, just for fun.

People: YIKES! (I think my brain got hijacked)

Today I might have to go on a ride to maybe be able to help a man who is in prison for being a foreigner. I don’t know whether I will return, should I really get myself to go there.
Wish me luck, but actually don’t wish me luck, wish this man luck.

Muhammad Azhar Shah

It doesn’t matter who he is, where from and what. But someone who wanted to kill himself, is in isolation prison, would have a job and a place to stay, would people not want him to be sent into his death. He deserves to live. And you never know for sure, but maybe it will cost another life or maybe I will be locked away as well.

You never know. These days you can end up in prison for being out late, I guess. At least if you believe what some states are talking about.

Don’t wait for me, but I will let you know, should I be back safe or whether I actually got myself to drive there.

It is complicated because my mother will probably have to drive with me, since it is her car and in case I won’t be able to return, she wouldn’t have it. We will see.

I don’t believe my own words. I don’t believe that I will actually go there. But I already drove to a town once, not knowing why and then picked up a man who was walking home in the night and maybe could have died there on the street. Because I walked there myself and sometimes had to keep balance to not fall on the street, while he even had some beer and also didn’t look as young as me.

At least one thing I did to help.
Otherwise I am not really a big help anymore.
I once was more, but now I am just someone who wants to finally end this mess of a world.
And let people be free again and live and get the help they need and food and all.
Too many have died for a few to have a feast and talk about “important” things, like robots.
While millions are getting forced to do all kinds of things, get killed and so on.
I guess I never had a chance. I can lose battles, I lost most of them anyway.
I can lose a lot, everything which meant something to me is gone anyway. Well, not all, I still have the cat and my mother, sometimes when she feels better. And I found wonderful people here and there.

But it never took away this fear I had since childhood, that no matter what, that we will be doomed.
And I don’t want this. I really don’t want this. Why can’t these stupid idiots with their bombs, weapons and crazy minds who just want to control everything be either dead or finally wake up and do the right thing. To destroy these things or disarm them or whatever, so they won’t be ever used again. But all of them and not just those of people like my grandfather.

I don’t want violence. Violence will not end, when you feed it with control, hate and all.
Only love and trust can do that. But people around the world don’t want that because they want to have this world for themselves, playing SIMS with us or DEFCON or whatever.

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