The best thoughts

This kind of “love” is literally killing you.

Why literally? Because it causes negative feelings, you get hurt, feel used, ignored and also might think you are not meant for love or won’t find real love. Negative feelings others can cause or also frequencies and stuff, they make you die (as well).

I mean, there even was a thing with a room in a public building (maybe even with scientists) and they were scared to enter one specific room. One guy wanted to take a look for himself and then found out that there was a vent having a little issue with movement, making a specific kind of noise in some frequency which then caused psychological things, hallucinations and a general bad feeling. After they fixed that thing, people felt good in the room again.

Good that we have random frequencies all over the place these days, so we can just call it a random event, when people freak out or realize that it might have been intentional.

But yea…

By the way, Stargate showed me what might be better and what could be normal or natural or should be and happens in the world. Since most if not all episodes have deep messages and are actually showing actual things with different visuals. For example take the Ori for the church and science sector and how they first produce a problem and then offer a cure or solution, should the others obey them. 😀

Or that it is not normal that women are treated like cattle and are still given as “presents” and forcefully get married (and such things). Even that they are usually more intelligent and wiser than most men and also kinder, when they are not angry or aggressive. You better not stand in their way when they are fully aware and have a plan.

Any way, the best thoughts and ideas usually leave as soon as they arrived and when you don’t catch them and write them down or something, then you might not get them again so easily. Why is that? Well because of all the noise, pressure and other negative factors. Which could lead to negative thought spirals, instead of constructive and positive / creative ideas or dreams.

When my mind is free, usually in nature since the frequencies and noise is not that strong there (in my case), I can easily think through whole book stories, movies and also develop plans, just dream about wonderful futures and things I could do one day.

This is why it is not only recommended to go into nature, it might be necessary these days, since elsewhere there is too much (negative or random) interference. Like some kind of interfering transmitter, since other frequencies block or break brain frequencies and this way the synapses can’t work properly (besides other factors maybe). Which then addtionally causes negative thinking patterns or the inability to think things through with a positive outcome. Why is that? Well, because usually already found “paths” or “patterns” (thought you already had or memories already stored, have a somewhat stronger conncetion. So you can “revisit” them easier, something like “cache” for software engineers. And usually the brain then goes from there and finds new ways or you and then the brain acts upon them (either way you see it). But since there is electricity or some frequencies involved, it is problematic when they interfer with the brain frequencies. Since that might usually not be always the case and probably more mild in general, since otherwise your brain would probably explode or whatever. xD It only happens sometimes more random. Maybe when some specific frequencies or signals met some synapse or whatever. (I am not a scientist or anything, so it is just from what I remember and heard here and there.)

There is a saying, that when you lose a thought, but it was important, that it will come back again.

At some point that might have been true and hopefully still is. But now it might take way more time, because the brain has to keep up with all that noise and stuff.

So there could be a misconception that something wasn’t important when you can’t remember it within a minute or so. It could maybe come back after that time or days or weeks later.

Depression is actually also in a way related to this since it has to do with similar things at the core.

So thank the technology and brain-washed people for the depression and weird stuff happening to you.

When I shower I often get better thoughts and very great ideas, but often I can’t write them down fast enough, since they get lost between shower and writing them down. Not always, but often. That a shower makes that is actually nothing new and even some scientists had great ideas while showering as far as I know.

Maybe that is related to the water, since water is important for our life and our cells have and need water. It was also said that the drops of water on the head stimulate the brain. So you get water for the cells, stimulation and it usually feels good as well. Maybe possible side effect might also be that frequencies are a little blocked (depending on the amount of water maybe) or altered. That is why I usually feel the most safe in the shower while showering. At least it would be a very good explanation. Each time I shower I don’t want to leave and stay in there because it calms me down. Especially slightly warm or lukewarm / tepid water. Cold water makes it actually worse and my heart almost stopped beating once. I mean I can adjust myself to cold water and cold in general, but it is not healthy to go in there just like that. It can cause a heart attack, shock or circulation problems in your body. But hey, I just listen to my body, so some other people must know everything better since they don’t. (Or worse, their body might even already tell them that alcohol is good and eating sugar healthy. You never know these days…)

Things to think about again, especially now:

Divide and conquer.

Free thinkers are state enemies.

Not everything is as it seems. (Actually most of the things aren’t.)

If you are a free thinker, better watch your back and be sure to have real friends or someone you can really trust. At best someone you know from childhood on. I for my part had to operate alone so far, since most people didn’t understand the importance and madness of things. A few did, but I couldn’t tell them and also weren’t sure how far they went (how free they were thinking). And yes, I got comprimised … since I gave up alone, but this is why “Schweigen” (Silence) is dangerous.

Das schweigende Klassenzimmer (The silent classroom) / The Silent Revolution

We are at a critical point in history and the next weeks and months will decide whether our (near) future will be ours finally or whether we will die or be mindless drones for people (or whatever) who want to rule the world, as they always used to do.

Do you know that not long after my mother and I left my father, the law that married people are automatically devorced after 3 years got removed. So she was and still is married.

When my mother was talking with my grandfather (father’s father) when he was still alive, about rights and ownership of things (since my father was always taking things for himself, even her earned money, until she got her own bank account), people said why she was talking about that. “Was will die denn, die kriegt doch ihren Pflichanteil.” (What does she want, she gets her mandatory share anyway.)

Soon after this law also got changed, so my mother got nothing after my grandfather died. And only because she talked with him some years before that, he was willing to write his house on to me, so we at least had something. Although I didn’t want to live here (but you know the story). At least the house is mine now, because otherwise we probably would still have had to or end up living here, but then had no rights at all, like it used to be.

And do you know what my father a few months ago said to me in one of his nonsense madness talks when he makes me seem like a devil and ignorant asshole (speaking of himself), he even said that it wasn’t right that I was living with my mother. I mean, I don’t know what he was doing with his mother (okay, I know that they were some kind of art, like small houses out of fire matches and stuff), but WHAT?!

I mean, it felt as if my own father was talking about me and my mother as if we were together or doing whatever. I mean WHAT THE HELL. It just happened to be that I still live together with her in one household because I wasn’t able to kill myself before and also because she wouldn’t have had anywhere to go or noone to help or protect her (when I was able to). Without me she would have nothing now.

AAARRRGGGGHHH

And my father still talks with himself in a loud tone, speaking hateful things about us, making us seem evil and bad, as if we did ruin his life. But as soon as we mention that we will live, he plays the kind and innocent boy. 😀 Classic manipulation tactics. What a coward and asshole. He is still my dad and I wish he would know what he does, like really understand, but I think it is hopeless. Each time I tried and thought I got through to him, I got very tired and almost got down. Leaving me feeling bad, while he soon after just continued as before, while I spent several hours with him.

His madness gets always renewed by his church visits and whatever he listens to and reads at home. All these weird religious and propaganda stuff. The only positive thing about it was, that this way, at least sometimes, I knew what the others were coming up with at the moment, since he was some kind of a leak for them. He being a weak man, because his kind and artistic soul was broken when he was a child. By his parents, school and other people. Almost like in my case, but I guess I was stronger and people in my time were a little bit more open. Or my positive influence was helping.

Because really, people start talking about things when they are near me. Whether they talk with me or just with others. I think that I might trigger some kind of positive reaction within their brains or body, so they can easily open up and talk about things they usually might not talk about.

This way I have heard that some people knew bosses and managers from big car companies. That in one company a several million euro software project got broken and lost and had to be rewritten from memory and lose remaining parts. This and that, you know. And also some people were telling me that they weren’t feeling good about what they do to others or themselves.

This is why it might be that so far no one really tried to get close to me, because they sense this or know that I can cause this. Which would then make people interacting with me a possible leak and endanger their plans.

So yeah… it is the best tactic to make me seem like an idiot, crazy one or ironically a nazi or other conservative or brainwashed thing, like religious people.

I mean, almost each time I leave my house, it feels as if I have to watch my back. At least as long as I am in a village or town or something. In the forest at night, I don’t really have that feeling usually. Which for normal, brainwashed people would probably the case. Because I know that the forest protects and helps me, so why should I be scared in there, when elsewhere my mind gets tortured and people look at me or talk about me. I mean, of course, should someone follow me into the forest, which already happened at least once, I also get the hell out of there. Even if they shouldn’t be looking after me. But one time it was really obvious. I mean I went to another location I usually didn’t went to, by car and this time had my mobile phone with me (which I usually not do for reasons I also don’t use it usually). I wanted to record the forest environment and maybe make a few photos. Soon after a black car appeared in the forest and someone was walking around with a flashlight. Boy, I ran to the car and got the hell out of there. And all these other times when a car passed by the forest, just when I was walking near it. Coincidences… a “few” too many in my life. This is why I don’t really believe in coincidence. I mean, in the natural world, there are of course such things and it would be normal. But since most of our life and world (at least in the normal things, when you are not living alone or with a few people in nature) is controlled, manipulated and altered, most of the “coincidences” could actually be psychological tricks to make you believe that you are crazy or others think you are, since they have no idea or play the innocent.

The problem with this is, that sometimes there could then actually be a coincidence (maybe) or that someone who seemed to be observing you is also just another mind-controlled human who has no idea. So attacking them would only get you in trouble either way. For me it is, as long as they don’t actively attack me, I don’t attack them. Since at worst I could actually attack someone innocent who was just used to scare me or whatever. What you don’t believe me? Try for yourself, but be warned, you might end up dead. 😊🙃

What a wonderful world we live / die in…


I “loved” the part about “rare” allergic reactions. 😀




By the way this blog is not only me making myself highly targetable, vulnerable and basically showing what others can do, do and know about you already or could know or make you do. It is also a source for training your mind and heart against it. Because the more I consume information and frequencies, the stronger I get.

Remember, it is a human ability to adjust towards new environments. So at some point all these frequencies and drugs and stuff might not work anymore to stop us and hopefully this gets lower with each day I withstand it. The rat learning ability, you remember?

I might not be able to lift up objects with my mind and maybe never, but I can probably make the weather or others do that for me. When the worst should happen, I will try my best and see how far I can actually go to stop this madness. But would I do something now, I would only at worst help them to learn from me.

People: But you give them all information already because you write everything down. So they know all the time where you are, what you do and what they can use against you.

Me: Yea… that’s what I wanted them to think.

People: confused



And the thing is that is actually scary that we had to become like this, in order to actually be heard (a little?).

Also don’t forget what The Divergent Series: Insurgent was showing you. In it is was shown that military and police are brainwashed, manipulated and controlled by the economy sector and related things supporting world leadership. That they would take people who actually (at one point) wanted to help and were meant to help, strong people or maybe even kind people. Then they turned them into these bots shooting innocent people. If you understand that, you know that killing them would be not only a crime, but a blue-on-blue attack at worst. And that there are of course always some people (like some generals and bank bosses or concern bosses etc.) who control these people and make them do things (although some of those could also change their mind, should they know what is happening, if they weren’t supporting it in the first place).

Because when you can control the military and police (or armed forces, like mecenaries or “so called” terrorist groups backed by CIA or corporations etc. you can stop it. Not meaning that you then use military forces to kill them, what or whever “they” are, because again, killing is never a good thing and should be always avoided when possible.

The movie Matrix clearly showed that often this fact is ignored. So Neo or the others kill innocent people who really just did their job, not knowing anything. While they got manipulated (taken over by an agent), so they killed them, while the agent actually always survived by the people didn’t. This means that Neo and the others actually killed innocent people. Well played…

If you understand that and that the IP MAN tactic is to only make the enemy unable to fight you and at best teach them or show them that they were on the wrong side, you know what is happening.

And of course it is always harder to do things this way, but otherwise what would we be?

Would we be any better?

Justice and intelligence include the ability to forgive, to teach and also to understand and change things for the better based on that. If you really believe that killing anyone is a good or even necessary act, you are on the wrong side and should hit your head against a wall (of your choice) several times (or just try to understand what I am telling here).

Some years ago and hopefully still in a lot of cases, the police in my country (Germany) was told to only kill or even shoot when there really is not other way. Some years ago it was even said by americans that their police should take a look at ours because we had less shot bullets in a year than they in a day or week, I think. And that most shots were in the air, like warning shots to make someone surrender or stop and show them that they could be hurt. It was also said that they should shot in the arm or legs to unarm someone or take them the ability to shot or use something. And only if the risk of getting shot themselves or others, they should aim at the heart or risk killing them in a self-defense act. Usually not necessary. Not to forget that at some point the police didn’t even had guns or only small pistols, which still is the case in small towns (as far as I know) or some regions / counties(?). But the “Bundespolizei” (national? police) has machine guns and stuff in their cars and of course special anti-terror units or storm-troops like S.E.K. (Sondereinsatzkommando) (Special Operations Command). So yea… police is or at least wasn’t all the same. And there had been reasons for it. Because otherwise they could be controlled by one central intelligence agency or whatever.

Luckily in recent years we had such an development, leaving local police almost unable to operate and always dependent on higher hirarchy or such things. (As mentioned here before.)

And they also replaced the local police with foreign officers one at a time. First one of them I knew had a sickness, then another one changed the station, one maybe retired and others came, often younger.

I have at least one polce officer in my town who I would trust my life with. And even if he would have to carry me away, I would know that he wouldn’t hurt me or anything, since he is a good man and if so would just do his job. I hope he will survive and is still in duty. The thing is, that when he will be not in duty anymore, I know that the time has come. If you understand. Because they know exactly who he is, since they also knew everything about me and maybe you even before I published it. I actually just did that, since I wanted to show that it doesn’t matter how hard you try to hide, it is pointless. At least when it is for data about you or tracking and such stuff.

I still hope that I don’t have anything implanted inside me, but you never know, right? 😀

I mean, could have gotten it in the hospital or something.

The best part about all this is and always was: “I was just following orders, like everyone else.”

Or as my father used to say (believing it was an argument or whatever), the neighbours also cut the grass often and cut their tress, so you have to do it as well. And if you don’t do it, I have to do it for you. He really said it like that multiple times and also about a lot of other things. Making me and my mother feel guilty or stupid in front of others and uncomfortable in our own house. Also took our freedom and safety we never really had, but yea… he still walks through the house sometimes when he thinks we are sleeping. Probably controlling everything, as usual. I mean I really wouldn’t wonder when he would with or without his knowledge play the spy for some people while they might hypnotise him or whatever, since he is easily brainwashable anyway. While he has a strong ability to manipulate others and hurt us even physically when he feels like it. In recent years it was usually psychologically, since that leaves no visible scars and marks and is better for the business, while hurting more and making more damage. As a kid I already learned to ignore it or manipulate him back so he had no effect. But especially when my mother also was defending him or fighting me or when I gave up on myself, I was an easy target for it again.

I really have to stay calm, otherwise their plan could work out.

At least my mother is usually not attacking me, when I don’t attack the indoctrinated knowledge and manipulation others placed in here and instead give here something positive to think about or make her remember her good moments and what she wanted.

My mother actually was the classic lamb. She believed what others who seemed to have authority and speak rightous told her. But also was strong and fought for justice. So she had to be broken and manipulated step-by-step, since otherwise she could have been a dangerous personality. She always had a boy attitude or something in between from childhood on. And also had this classic dream they plant in children, to have a normal family and in her case being a loving mother at home. She even praid to get a man for whom she could sacrifice herself to. Only to think about it again in recent years and this year and how she could even think such a thing. Because she really got that.

She actually knew before the marriage (which was held only 3 months after they first met) that something was wrong with my father and everything. But then noone was on her side again and so they married. When she tried to escape from him when I was 2-3, only her father (and maybe her mother) were on her side, but couldn’t really help her and my father also pushed up a lot of hate and manipulation towards them in form of phone calls, letters and religious stuff etc. And siblings of my mother even supported my father.

We were only feeling a little safer while we were living in the police building, since it had bars on the lower windows, strong doors and well… was the police building, although people here don’t respected police. Can’t blame them… since all is so messed up.

But when my mother gave in to my father’s not stopping manipulation she even let him in there or went to help him and such things. Making this place also compromised, at least whenever he was there and also making me feel bad. At times I felt as if a big grinning man was standing right behind me or in the mirror or dancing right next to me sometimes. Scaring me, even in the shower because I was sometimes scared to open my eyes and see someone actually standing there. Heh… happy times I guess.

Only to end up right next to him again, my father and hell.

Wonderful world…

You know what I hated most about chess?

That the king was not beatable by one figure, but instead had to be trapped in a state unable to move.

While ironically he didn’t even move much in the first place. Oh and, that he was always hiding behind his peasants and other figures or switched places with his walls / towers. What a coward, what a child.

A real, true king or someone who really stays up and supports their people, fights with them side by side and doesn’t hide behind them. Am I hiding behind you?

The good thing about real life is, that everyone can do what I do and did and probably way more, in a good way. So we are way stronger together, when we are already way stronger than most other people when we are on our own.

Don’t fall into the illusion that you are alone. We are here, I am here and together we are strong.

Together we will win or die trying. 🙂 What else can we do…




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