Children simply are…

Better than us!


I don’t know about these organisations. I just know that some people could use all of this to get rich, so I can’t tell you what to do with these organisations. I don’t trust organistions because in the end it always ends similar. Someone wants more money, someone wants more this or that and all of a sudden the helpless are only a minor thing running on the side, as long as it give money, of course.

But the message stays the same, the children, families and people in general. There are always, everywhere people who get ignored, killed, tortured, left alone, abused, forced to do things, forced to end their lives.

No matter whether there is physical war with weapons or just war in the heads or society, pressure and anger. And this need for more of nothing.

And one is clear, the children are the future. Without them, we are lost and telling them what we did, forcing them to do what we did and do, will only end all our future together. To either die out or give someone the chance to profit again, like always, how it always was.

Listen to the children, understand what they say and not “just” listen and say “yeah, yeah, now go back into the line.”. Children are more intelligent because they didn’t get dumb, self-centered and ignorant like adults. At least most of them. An most children only are like their parents, because they learned from them. A cycle, never ending cycle, until somone dies, the world burns again (or all the time because that is how it is) and everyone is just “everyone for themselves”. As if there is no point in helping each other out. It didn’t work in the past (as many think), so why should it be worth trying now (as many repeat)…

But then I ask you, where do you go? What do you want? Why do you live?

To serve, to die, to pray and hide?

Is it to mask, to pretend and fake a smile?

People are dying… every second, I suppose. And everyone continues, business as usual. As if death and horror and faking is normal… because everyone accepted it. Everyone does it… and those who don’t are asked to leave, of course in the trial of helping them. Since everyone wants to be mad and bot shit crazy? RIGHT!? Right… because that’s how it always was and will be (as many would say and repeat). Mindless, heartless machines…



Nobody ask to be a hero, because nobody doesn’t want to be a hero. To be blamed for every little mistake. Not want to be judged by everyone. Not want to be watched, as if they are out of space or a monkey playing cello.

Nobody ask to be a hero, because everyone wants someone else to be the one to take action. And then? Then what?

If you don’t do it, then who?

You know how well that worked out in the past.

Do you really want to wait until people like them make their choices, make their moves and play the heroes you want? Since you didn’t want to make a move, didn’t want to risk a mistake or whatever your reason are or were?

I know my reasons, my reason was, that I didn’t want to be called crazy. Because this is what I would be called and probably will be.

But hey, I am long gone and over all these things. It doesn’t matter to me all that much. Some people can still hurt me, those who are close to me. But that is the price you pay. And I know that I want noone to rule over us, that I don’t want any crazy people, who convince anyone that things are normal now, better now or whatever they say.

I want no more political parties to give us fake promises, fake governments, fake religions or counter believes. The satanist is as good as the christian, the muslim, the whatever believe or religion you believe in or think of as better. They are all the same in the end. Promising freedom, salvation and peace or justice or whatever you want. They will tell you something and make you believe.

But all you need is in your heart and only there and maybe in those who see through their heart as well. Words mean nothing, when someone just says them to make you believe in what they promise. Still almost everyone follows, believes what someone says. Why? Because they are scared of themselves, feel guilty, feel broken and unworthy. But then everyone could tell them lies and take advantage of them. And exactly this is what happes every day, all the time, to this day. While some believe it is fine and normal…

No one can give you salvation, no one. Because you were born with it, until someone robbed it, broke it, made you destroy it or even hate it. Until you started to hate yourself or whatever happened. A beating heart with fire, a burning heart for yourself and others, this is the only way. And then you can still believe in something else, if you want to. But without your heart, how should you ever be yourself and alive?

Many came, many are here and will still come and tell you what is right, what is wrong, what is good, what is bad. But you can either believe them or believe in yourself. Others do that as well, each day, but out of egoistic and narcisstic or whatever reasons. Because they know, that they can basically do whatever they want. In the end it doesn’t really matter. Since so far everyone you know and knew died anyway, am I right?

So why listen to them, if all they promise is a lie or a misinterpretation, to make them the right ones. To make them able to judge you and make you do what they want. Whoever they may be, in whatever time you might have lived or will live.

Why is it, that there is always war to this day? And that people are developing viruses and chemicals do destroy us? Why?

Because they can, they always can and will do such things because no one every stopped them. Why? Because everyone wanted a hero. And the real heroes were either killed or killed themselves, when they were in the way or lost the reason to fight.

Are you a hero? No. Am I a hero, NO!

Could we be heroes? Yes.

But what does a hero not do? They don’t wait for someone else to make it better, since they know, no one will come. At least they can’t hope for it, since otherwise we wouldn’t be where we are right now. A crazy world, broken world with some people who think all is fine and some people who just want to die or just hope that it might end one day, one way or another…

If at least some people would stand up alone. Just alone or maybe with some friends or family, in case they have some who would go through fire for or with them. Then they might stand alone at first, maybe until they die. But the more would do that, the more could do the same.

And then even a small gesture, a little smile with tears, could change our lives for good. But not everyone wants that and because of it, things like war still exist. I don’t believe every soldier wanted to fight, on neither of the fighting sides. Some for sure, some even have fun raping children and women. Be it an american soldier, a russian soldier, a chinese soldier, an ISIS fight, a german soldier, or from whatever country in the world.

The individual being is the change of course, not the collection of mindless “drones”.

“The wolve doesn’t care about the number of sheep, the wolves is not afraid of sheep.” (or how this line was… but you get the message).

You being you, means something is different. You being what others wants, means nothing at all. It only makes everything perfect… perfectly insane.

But of course “you being you” is not possible, when no one is really themselves. So make it a start, like I made it a reason for me.

I hope you don’t have to go through what I went through or maybe even worse. Not that I ever was in an actual warzone, but in my dreams, in my mind, with my heart and all the psychological hells I went through. I was there… I was everywhere and yet nowhere. And so I know for sure, that if I wouldn’t have said something, if I would have stayed the way others wanted me to be, then this would never end! NEVER!

Because even if war with weapons would end, then some people would still manipulate you and make you do whatever they want. Since then you would still be the unwanted, the weird one, while everyone else is scared or believes what they say. Whoever or whatever “they” might be in the end, I am sure I don’t want them to win. But so far they always won at some point.

I closed with my life, I died last December and after all what I went through, what I have seen, felt and even done myself. There is nothing which can shock me anymore. Maybe just physically or for a moment, as a reflex or whatever that be. But I have seen it all for way too long now, so why waiting anytime longer.

I would die either way, at least when I do nothing. So at least I could try to die for something good. Even if no one would notice in the end, like it used to be. It wouldn’t matter because at least I would then be able to die in peace, knowing that I didn’t waste my life for a fictional story, a hopeless dream or whatever they told you.

But I know, that I probably wouldn’t get this peace. That I would never be free and in the end might even be used against you. I don’t know for sure, but I have seen it all. Still I have to do this here. Whatever it will bring. Even if nothing, then at least more, than what I would do, would I just die, like everyone else.

I am a goner, I am suicidal, I am an optimist, I have a big heart, probably too big sometimes and cold as stone when I lost my will…

I am a young man, sometimes a woman, something a robot, sometimes a spirit, sometimes a tiger, a wolve or God. Sometimes I am just a ghost, a tree or bird. And sometimes, I am, I just AM in the moment.

But all of it is pointless, doesn’t matter and will probably never be seen, really noticed and help anyone at all. How should it…

And I don’t care, since I stopped caring for my life since my childhood, knowing that others will always tell me what to do, until I die by a sickness or suicide.

So far neither of those happened, but both of it almost happened, not only once. And guess what? I am not allowed to die. And it is really what drives me to do this. That I also never wanted to die because I knew, that live was to be lived. But I wasn’t allowed to live, to really live. And so I wanted to die, but no, I wasn’t allowed to die either. And so I thought FUCK THESE RULES. I will never be allowed to do anything, until everything wll only be ashes or machines or both.

And so here I stand (or write, I should say) and do my best to die, to live and give or take. Whatever helps, whatever is just pointless.

Here is it, all of it and will stay here until someone alters it, deletes it or does whatever they want with it. Because they can and will. They always could, did and wanted to. Until nothing is left but madness, to be called normality.

Madmen… mad society… mad corporations, mad governments, mad money, mad police, mad military, mad rebels, mad religions, mad people… in general.

I have never seen in my life time, an actual tree with a gun or a granade.

Never have seen a tree raping, hitting or killing another tree or even another being, at least not on purpose. Because when a tree falls down, then it is real bad. Real trees usually have deep and strong roots, they can stand against the stronger stromes and winters and sometimes even provide them with water and other necessary things in the hottest summer.

So when a tree falls down on another being and accidently hurts or kills it, then you know, that the world is going down or maybe always was the shit hole it used to be.

Because WHEN A TREE FALLS DOWN, THEN EVERYTHING IN ITS WAY MIGHT DIE OR BE DESTROYED.

And when I say, that I am a tree, when I see, that maybe you could be a tree as well? What does that mean? I hope you know…

But guess who will be blamed for the injury, the death? – The tree… always the tree. Until it is all cut down and earned turned into furniture or burned or both.

I have never seen an actual tree walk, scream or blame the little trees next to them. Have never seen them complaining about someone breaking their branches, sticks and leaves. I HAVE NEVER SEEN A TREE KILLING ANOTHER BEING ON PURPOSE… because of anger, rage or fear.

Never have I seen such a thing. But I wonder… and still wonder, when this day might come. I don’t want to be here anymore, should this day come. Because when an army of trees marches towards you, all you can do is run. But you won’t be running for long, the screams won’t stop them, since you never cared for their silent ones. The tears won’t stop them, since you never stoped when they couldn’t, but cried deep down. The begging and praying won’t help you, since theirs never were heard. The wind won’t stop them, since through the wind they speak. The fire won’t burn them because they learned to live with it. And the acid you throw in their face, will only make them run faster and stump onto yours until only a gorry mess is left, where once was a body. Like you left only a tiny piece of the once so glorious trees you cut down for your reasons. And sometimes even that wasn’t enough because you wanted a highway, a city, more wood or simply the space to be clear. So you should be thankful because they would at least burry you beneath them and use your body to grow. Be thankful because they at least use you for good, not like you used them for profit. They would have cut of their arms and legs for you, if you would have asked. But all you could do, was cutting them yourself, since this is what one does, am I right?

And so the army of trees will reach you one day, forest, upon forests, walking the streets. And no human will be safe, no human, except those who already wanted to die. And the trees will take them on their strong and warm arms and carry them with them and keep them safe. Conquering what once was theirs, since family helps and stays together. Why should the trees kill one of their own? They never did that. Even in sorrow had to see, how some ended their lives right next to them, even with their own hands. And they could do a thing, maybe even tried. Their silent screams, silent tears were never heard before. Only by a few, a few who were born among us. Maybe reborn, maybe just born, but they got here to stay, to live, give and be. Like the trees used to do. And all the animals of the forest will follow them, all the animals of the north, the west, the east and even the south. Since the desert was a jungle once, a paradise as well, in distant times, maybe long forgotten. Before the dust appeared, after the human steered…

So those who have a child in their heart, even if it is almost dead. Those might be spared, might be taken on the shoulder of these giant trees. These caretakes of us all, givers without being asked. Taken all, giving all until they die. Unnoticed, unhearded and soon forgotten.

All they wanted was to stay, to be. If you are like them, they won’t stay in your way, won’t chase you away. They will help you stay and be and enjoy everyday.

Do you need them to come for you? These once so mighty trees?

Do they really have to step out of their dispair, their holes and long forgotten places, where they rot, scream and die for you?

DO THEY HAVE TO?!

Maybe they will, since this is how it goes. No one will come and help them, not many do. So they have to take it upon themselves.

I have never seen an actual walking tree. But when you see one, you shouldn’t flee. It wouldn’t help either way. Embrace it, whether it smashes you into the dust or helps you up. That’s all you can do. They don’t ask for more. Since nothing more is it they ever got. Maybe some words, maybe some water, but all they wanted was some love.

Those who gave it, those who cried with them. Those are their family.

And family helps each other out, when they can. Family knows and real friends as well. A family is not made through blood, through man-made bonds or laws. A family is made through hearts. A tree would even help those who aren’t part of their family, that is their nature. But usually they get nothing in return… so you must wonder, why are they still giving?

They are dying and so are we…


And this goes for every nation, every color, every being on this once so great and fruitful land called earth. But like the gap shown by the memorial monument, after both of these men and many before and after them got killed or died in other ways, this gap remains.

Not between those who represent it, for they have long hugged each other since they both died for the same cause. It is the gap between us all, no matter who we are, where we are or what we are. A hopeless drunk on the streets, a business man in the high skyscrapers of this cold and lonely world. A gun waving lunatic fighting for a diabolic God or freedom, a girl who just wanted to live a life in peace.

But no matter what I will add or say. In the end, someone will use my words, as they already did. Someone will use my wisom, as they already did. Use it to present to you, what I really would wish for us all, while they will just do what they want. Making you believe that it was me or you who made it happen, but all what they do, is making their dream come true.

A cold and perfect world of law and order. A cold world in which factories, schools, and all that are taking place, instead of what nature was offering us. We indeed could be much wiser, should be much wiser because we could have a good life standard, could have justice, freedom and peace. Without harming one another, harming the environment and without the need to reduce our standards, without the need of fear and despair.

We could have had all of this for centuries maybe even millenials. Why didn’t we get there, while many of course claimed that we got or soon will be there? As they do now and always will be… Because machines, evil people and so called Gods, will always do what they want or think is the only way. They are dead, inside, outside all the same. They are cold and want to make you cold as well, so it isn’t unnatural anymore, so they can hide among us. Like the monsters they are, claiming to be our heroes.

The real heroes died and will always die, either up until eternity or the day when this endless war will finally end.

Why do some people make so many follow them, to do horrible things, unthinkable things? I didn’t want to know, but I had to know. And it is because they need more. Because they always need more. More women to fuck, more gold to carry, more metal to shoot, more buildings to build, more power to control. Always more of it. And when they got it all, they will either destroy it and start again or move on or find other ways do get more.

They can’t except that trees just want to live and birds just want to sing.

And like the Kennedy brothers got killed, like Martin Luther King, Malcom X and many more. The color doesn’t matter, it didn’t stop the chinese tank from rolling over a student blocking its way, one of their own. It didn’t stop the bombs from falling onto Hiroshima and Nagasaki, although the war could and probably would have been stopped in another way. Killing millions, burning millions on the impact and killing many with the black, radioactive rain which fell down afterwards. Since the heat of the bomb was so hot, many drank the rain, and if the radication of the bomb didn’t kill them, then the radiation inside the rain. Many died after long days, months or even years in pain. And even the children and so on.

Did it stop people from building more nuclear power plants to this day? Even though we already had multiple catastrophies because of them? And probably many of them were behind closed doors? Never heard of, spoken about and maybe only noticed by locals, since they got sick and died? Be it nuclear plants, be it atomic weapons, be it chemical labs or weapons or both. Be it biohazards and labs who create them.

And what else I could and should add on this list and probably did in the past or already some minutes ago.

Why is it, that the trees are wiser than mankind, but mankind thinks since they can talk, walk and move all day long, that they must be more, must be wiser than trees? Why should they be? Did they ever live a thousand years?

Some may have lived in a long forgotten past. Maybe some in hidden worlds or in secret, knowing that they would be either killed, tortured or some would make experiements with them.

Why is that, that I wouldn’t have a problem to meet an actual werewolve? To meet an actual vampire? To meet a ghost or a fairy?

Why is it that I wouldn’t have a problem, should one day the trees walk among us? Although it would be the last day for you all who weren’t helping them?

Why is it, that I would have no problem with a child being more intelligent and smarter than all humanity together?

Why is that, tell me?

Do you know what I know?

Have you seen what I have seen?

I doubt that, if you have to question, whether I am the one who is insane or you.

Because one day, one day the trees will use your life for good, not like you used theirs.

Yours truly,

_ tree with two legs

_ dragon without a burning mouth

_ cat without a tail

_ angel without wings

_ God with(out) a name

Love ❤


😥😔💜

The letters build: FEARS

… or Faers

… or Färs

(written on his helmet)


How scared they must be, if they really needed all of this, to kill ony guy with a pistol… how ashamed they should be. Even if he would have been the leader of terrorist group. Especially then… especially then…


I bet no one asked this girl why she did it, if it really was the way it was said. I would have done that, at least now after all what I have seen in my life. Her reaction doesn’t seem as if she was a dangerous girl. To me her reaction seemed deeply hurt, done and deeply broken. I can’t imagine that in case she really did what was said and it wasn’t someone else, that she had a reason. And even if she really just did it out of a cold act, what I don’t believe. Then I would go to her and give her the hug she deserves. Maybe she never got one, never an honest one. Did someone ask HER?

No, of course not… of course not. Because she killed her mother and that in a horrible way. So why would anyone care for her. Right?

I mean, she is definitely crazy, not human and therefor deserves no love.

BUT THAT my friends, was probably the reason for this.

And this my friends, is what happens when trees have enough.

Eventhough I don’t know whether she is or was a tree. I can only tell from her eyes, that she isn’t proud, that she isn’t happy, that she isn’t crazy and that she didn’t want all of this. But all what others care about is, what happened, her fingers and stare. No one cared for her tears, for her fears and lonely heart.

“Everyone is so fucking nice until they drive you to kill yourself!”

Or maybe someone else…

And if you can’t love her, then you can’t love me.

But I will still be able to love you.

And no, as far as I know, I haven’t killed anyone and aren’t planning to do so nor would I want anything like that.

People: “Wait, what, as far as he knows?”

Open your eyes people… if you can’t give love to someone who killed someone else or might be planning on their own life. If you can’t forgive yourself or a stranger who might has struggled or fought with much more, than you can ever imagine… Then tell me, what do you believe in?

I just know, that where I come from there is love and where I want to be is love as well. But where I am now is hell. A never ending nightmare.

And since I probably will take a place with J.F.K, R.F.K, M.L.K and all the others who at least had spoken out words like me. Words of hope, of love and freedom. Although they didn’t know enough. But still enough, to get killed for it.

So better prepare my grave stone, so that I won’t need it in the first place.

J. P. K., and in case you need the full name.

John Peter Koch

or in german

Johannes Peter Koch

John for the grace of God

Peter for the strength of a rock

And Koch, for the cook, the cook I never was.

If it would be for myself, I would have either had my mother’s name.

Pätkau or maybe even of some of my ancestors.

Penner, since it came from a different time and dialect, it was a profession.

But these days a “Penner” in german means a hobo, means someone who lives on the streets and does nothing or has nothing.

“Penner” also is what you say to someone who sleeps long or a lot. Since he goes “pennen”, which means something like “sleeping” but not in informal german.

So yes, I am a Penner then.

Oh whatever or whoever a Pätkau is.

I would even take your name, no matter whether it is in a language I don’t speak or don’t even know.

Since the native americans or some now arabic speaking people, really knew how to give names. And even others, those who lived long before us.

They gave names by meaning. Gave names with hope, with love and because they cared for their children and their future. At least some among them, if not all.

But where are we now? We take numbers, take names as brands and call people by their nicknames or how they call themselves on porn sites or whatever.

Tell me? Where are we?

I am clearly light years, galaxies maybe even universes away.

Clearly out of my mind, out of my head.

Clearly I am not here in the moment right with you.

Because I would give this girl or woman (in case she is still alive) a big hug, embrace her and maybe even give her a kiss on her head, like a father or mother.

I would do that because everony deservers that. It is because we took these things for granted, that we came right here… all these things, useless pointless things…

They made us forget, that what matters are the children, those little ones who sadly grow old so quickly… I bet Isabella Guzman wouldn’t have done what she did, if she really did it, if she would have know me. If she would have been loved for who she was before all this.

I bet she might be a better mother, than many mothers who claim to care for their children. While all they do is building chains around them. Blocking everything out of their way and maybe building paths, where shouldn’t be any, while ignoring their childrens wishes, dreams and what they might actually could be. Only to either make the children break apart or feel like something better, since their parents always got them what they wanted. Or what they thought they needed.

But love is what no one seems to be able to carry.

What people fear and don’t want to touch.

It could burn them, could hurt them or whatever they think.

They haven’t felt love, since when love makes you burn, or cry or dance or run or just listen to whatever they might be to listen to or watch… When love makes you do that, you never want it to stop. But sadly so far it always did stop. Because most of the time you are alone with it.

Alone with this love. Alone with this feeling.

Or alone without it.

And yes, I would even give that to a war criminal.

But first, first the people who suffered because of them need this love. In case they are still among us, suffering, probably in silence.

Having nightmares, having thoughts of ending their life. Flashing images, voices, scenes flashing back in from what had happened or just dead silence. A never ending cold feeling of hopeless dispair and neverending pain.

No matter whether it be a child from a “normal” family, a child which seems to have everything or a grown up woman, alone in her flat. It doesn’t matter whether you have been in a warzone or not, for the whole world is a warzone. Each day, everyday the whole time.

And I can’t stand this madness… even little girls these days have to speak and stand up for all humanity because they got more guts or these so called “balls” than all this so called “man” or adults or whatever they think they are.

When little children have more bravery than their parents or their so called leaders and caretakers. Then you know, that the trees will come down from the hills. And do what they will do, as I said.

And you really don’t want to see trees walking. But I have no problem with that. I just wish, that it won’t have to happen. Like a flood, like a storm, like fire from above or below.

I don’t want to see it happen, want to see it come.

But in case you give it no choice, I don’t want to be here anymore. Or maybe I would be… would be crying in silent, because I failed at last…





And in case you believe in God or Jesus or that, in case you are a Christian.

Then I have to tell you, that Jesus didn’t care, even hated those who were well-known to the scrolls and writings. He even called them names and shouted at them. Hated their religion and only cared for those among them, who were actually willing to listen to him and who really just searched for answers.

And he went to those who were hated by everyone else. Even his own disciples didn’t believe or understand why he went to them, since no one did that.

He didn’t care whether a woman had slept with several men or that they weren’t married or whatever. He just talked to this woman, since no one else did. She even went to get water when no one else did, so they wouldn’t talk about her, look at her or just to be alone. But he was there and didn’t care about all that, he just knew she needed someone, something, he had.

And whether all of this is just a fiction story or whatever some people believe and to be honest, I myself sometimes don’t know anymore what really is there to believe. But even if all of it would be just a story someone made up, then the parts about Jesus, were the best parts I have ever heard of. The best fiction, the best phantasy or whatever. Because I have never seen a human being like this guy. Whether you believe that he was a prophet, God’s ONLY son or an alien or just a normal human who was free or just a story. It doesn’t matter because so far, I have never seen something like that. This love, this way of caring for people, especially those who need it the most. I have seen some people for sure who also had parts of it. But never what I saw within this man, this story. Be it true or not. It doesn’t matter all that much to me, since for me it is true in my heart.

Whatever the words say, they are dead. I have seen it and it was wonderful.

But no one cares these days. Ghandi knew, I know and so many others know as well, so that I even had to give right to the satanists, some cultists, atheists and what else there is. Why? Because they at least made use of the power which was given to them. Although I wish they would have never had a chance. But even if you don’t believe that satanists or such cults exist, you don’t need those to know, that people these days don’t know anymore what they do. They either forgot it or never knew at all. Since they always did what the ones before them did and the ones before them and before them and on and on it goes… even this so holy bible says something about that. But hey, no one cares. Because like Harry Potter was a broken guy who was sometimes even forgotten by his own people or just a side character in his own story, so is and was Jesus. Because everyone (at least in the christian parts of the world) claims to speak in the name of him or God or the holy spirit or whatever crap they are talking about.

But every single one of them forgot, what Jesus actually did, who he was and how he was. And that everyone should be like him. And that even he said, that heaven is for the children, that they are the future and that we are all children. Or at least were or should be. But no, no one cared. Because everyone of course knows better. Kicking out their fictive creation of a God out of the window, while claiming to pray, teach and act in his name.

If I would be Jesus, then I would just sit there and cry all day… oh wait… I do.

All these people who claim to know, but know so little…

I would probably see Jesus eat dinner with a muslim family, if they just want to live and didn’t learn another way so far.

I would see him hug the jews (can I still say that in english?).

I would see him dance with some native americans and sing songs to the great spirit or the trees. And I would see him walk among buddist monks, towards chinese warriors. Greet the japanese samurai and all the children who play with their paper dragons, at least once they did that.

I would see him play video games with some children, some teenagers and adults who stayed young in their heart. And see him make funny faces and lose a game of chess with a smile on his face.

I see him walking over a field of mines, without fear, to safe a horse and a child right next to it. Would see him wave at an army of tanks and greet them farewell, since they will all be destroyed.

Maybe even fly with a rocket or just play in the sand with the kids. Swim a little and sit on a bench, watching the waves.

Do you know why? No?

Then maybe you should change your mind real quick. Since whatever you think you are, if you don’t know how a tree feels, then you better run.

Even the native americans knew, that some missionaries had a hunter ghost or spirit or how they called it. Only some were honest and really just wanted to be free.

One of my aunts told me a story about a missionary and some native americans I think. And about that they said to him, that he really had in his heart what he was talking about, but when they looked to the other men, they saw a hunter and not love or salvation.

And this missionary then even swapped cloth with these natives and tried to understand their culture and way of life. And understood, that the clothes really didn’t mean all that much. That they weren’t all that much different after all. I also heard from other cases like this, but guess what. When the contact was made, the hearts were warm and open. Some lunatics who called themselves God’s servants came in, built schools, facilities to reeducated and then made them all suffer “in God’s name” or for the government, the crown or whatever excuse or insnae reasons they had. No one asked the actual honest people or what the natives had to say about. Killed them, haunted them, hunted them and locked them away is what they did. Why? Because they were monsters and wild or so they said, these white men of justice of glory. When they should have said it about themselves…

The mirror… the mirror they never wanted to see. And so others had to suffer. Always has been… always will be, if no one hits those brakes for good. To stop these trains of madness, busses of insanity and spirals of dispair.

What do you want?

I just want to live, love and be.

And see you there with me. Getting rid of all that killing machinery, be it factories or weapons. All I want is a wise future, a future for children, with children and who they have a voice, since their reasons are honorable, at least before their hearts got or get broken, like those of adults usually are.

Let the trees be and you will see, all they wanted was to help you.





And you can of course kill my body.

As you always used to do…

But it won’t stop me from coming back.

Never will and never has.

But one thing is for sure, when I am dead I will get two new heads, then four, then sixteen. Like a hydra, you can’t kill me, since you have to kill my heart to do that. But guess what, a heart … only a heart can kill a heart and you got none.

Not you who reads this on my blog, probably not you, but those who should read it. Those I hate, those who hate themselves and who want to make everyone else hate with them, fear with them and destroy like they do…

Don’t do what they say, what they want.

You know better. We all should know better.

At some point as a child, probably each one of us knew.

But yeah… how should I know, right?

The fool, the idiot, the silent child, the aggressive child, the broken soul.

How should I know all of this?

I am just garbage because …


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