Die Geschichte von Anton Barsch
The story of Anton Barsch
I just had to think about a short story I once wrote and never finished. How it usually was with things which took longer than a day.
I wrote in the second half of secondary school, the timestamp says summer 2012 and for the second part december 2012.
2012-2014 was actually the time when I first began to get out of my skin. In 2012 I finally got internet and some online friends. I wrote more and more poems and even some kind of songs. And also this story. I actually wrote things way before that. But this was the time when I for the first time really thought that I could have a chance in life. That maybe not everything was as dark as it seemed. I was dead wrong, but only for the “That maybe not everything was as dark as it seemed” part. Because people didn’t get me, only some a little, it seemed. I don’t know for sure, but I know that after this time, I completely shutdown again. I stopped writing things, while I haven’t really started (according to what I would have wanted to do).
And even left those behind who were interested in what I did because I couldn’t imagine that anyone would really care. Because usually it wasn’t like this. People often had something to say about my way of walking, talking, laughing, thinking, writing, basically about everything I did.
So sometimes even a positive word, innocent word or gesture, someone did who maybe actually wanted to support me, felt like a joke or pointless attempt to safe what was never meant to be.
I would say, that these three years were my golden time when it comes to being able to be myself. But only in words, behind my computer screen and with people who didn’t know me since childhood.
I will probably publish a few lines / pages each day. Similar to what I did with “Lines, words, letters“. And in case I find some other stories, I maybe publish them the same way. In case I still feel like it by then. Because I already wrote some other short stories or at least tried to.
Oh and before I forget it, the name of the boy in the story actually developed out of frustration or something. “Barsch” is the german word for perch (when it comes to fish) or harsh, when it comes to the way one acts.
And Anton, I don’t know why I chose this name, maybe I will figure it out, when I read it again, before publishing the pieces.
Originally I wanted to call him “Anton Arsch“, so probably that is why I chose the name because it had an ‘A‘ at the beginning and also the same amount of letters. And “Arsch” is basically “ass” / “butt” in german.
So yeah, I really was having a good time…
And no, what I wrote here, wasn’t in the original story, that is why I called it “Prologue”, but actually it should be named “Why, what and when” or whatever. But I think you get it.
It is basically a story about a boy who was living in hopeless world, with a broken family and a lot of confusing and sad experiences. But he refused to give up and tried to fight against this hopeless way of things.
Looking back on it, it might have been inspired by my life more than I thought it was. And also could seem like a cheap version of a Kafka story. Who knows….
I hope you enjoy it. I will publish the first part after this post and then each day some more, as I said. It will be first german (because this is the language I wrote it in) and then the english version. So that you could translate it in a correct way, in case you are better with english and german translation than me. Because I know that my english sometimes is very weird and that I sometimes miss letters or words because of my impulsive(?) way of writing.