It is interesting, how I have more and more sympathy for zombies. Because they are turning the living dead into the living. Eh… walking dead.. you know what I mean.
And Z stands for Zeombey.
And then Simmler declared the year of the slice of bread and butter.
Interestingly enough, the Berlin wall was falling. Just about time.
The boards. I don’t like them. I know, that I am not smart enough to win a game of chess. But you know how it is.
The heart is all that matters. If you heart is strong enough to withstand the fall of the king, then you are a good loser. 😀
Because many people get angry when their king falls during a party chess.
I just put a new one on the board. And another one, and another one and another one. And another and … another… one.
Why is it working? Because on my chess board, there are my rules. And when I play chess, each figure is a king. Don’t value them by their appearance for you don’t know what could become of them.
And surprisingly the king is the figure with the least abilites anyways, while the peasants can turn into whatever they want, except for the king. At least in the traditional chess. Because in the traditional (as far as I know) the peasant can bring back a lost figure of yours. Usually a high ranking one, like the queen. Interestingly enough is the queen the most powerful figure on the board, while the king can only walk slow and hide behind his towers and walls. So when it comes to me, then ever figure is kings & queens. Yes you heard right.
At least as long as the board game is going on.
Or someone finally hits an axe between the fronts or paints the figures purple.
But you know what I think about chess.
The problem is, that I am acting like the king, hiding behind walls, towers and words. So while everyone else is a king or queen in my game of chess, I am the peasent, but not with the rules of chess of course.
People: Man, this guy really has a good psychosis. I want to smoke this shit as well, whatever it is.
Me: Trust me, you don’t want to. Neither smoke nor see what I have seen. Only the good stuff. There is a reason why you don’t want to see behind the curtain. It is smelly there because no one opened it in a long time.
Didn’t you wonder why so many good and interesting TV shows got cancelled? No? Well, you know why. Because they were all too good.
And you know how hunger games work.
These stories tell about a different story. Past, present, future.
The party never ends.
Yes… yes I know that I am not smart enough.
Many will win. If I could be the keast of them, I would’t care. For all I want is peace. There is no need to reshape the universe because we haven’t explored it yet. Not really.
But I, as always, can also be dead, if that is what you need.
There just doesn’t seem to be a point in it right now.
For we are different. And I am almost dead anyways.
Under the weight of it all.
I remember, that this one time in January, when I ran away from everything. I walked through a forest part. When I looked on the ground, I saw maggots and blood. But when I looked again, there were white leaves, blossoms from some bushes or trees. And dirt and needles. But these images flashed there for a while and I told myself, that there aren’t maggots. Like I used to when I was little. At least back then it was easy for me to understand all these messages here. This is why I was at first very happy because I had seen so many positive and good things. But then I was confronted with reality, that no one where I was understood or even knew these things I had seen. That even if, they often didn’t understand it. And those who did, probably got sick of it after a while as well.
Thank God I put a sleeping spell upon myself, otherwise I would have gone insane already. But I know it wasn’t me. And that I just gave up. But I wished to wake up when I wasn’t alone anymore. Little did I know, that I never was alone. But I wasn’t able to really contact anyone or focus on it.
I wasn’t able to because I couldnt trust myself because I thought that I could image everything and therefor just be talking with myself. Look where I am now. Heh… here back again. But this time I am not the same. Partially this is good, partially this is sad and partially I am just tired.
Really … I don’t know what happens to me soon. I just know that I don’t care that much about myself as I never did (liar).. I know…
The girls stood up for me and I didn’t care about it because for me it was lost already. How stupid of me. But I always was the idiot, so nothing new.
Because the smart ones rule the world, ight?
And I am sorry, in case I shouldn’t write anymore. I know that I can’t stop and I know that you won’t tell me to stop nor to continue. Only to not stop with being or my blog. And I am thankful for every word, for every emoji, star or view I get. Without it, I would not be here anymore. Without you, I wouldn’t live and maybe you would say the same about me? I don’t know for sure sometimes because I wish I would just be where … where ever you want me to be.
I am here as a servant, although I have acted as a tyrann sometimes, acted like a wolve, like a pig, like a snake, like a rat and even a rabbit.
I know that I shouldn’t live, but whenever I wanted to go, someone didn’t let me die. It is more painful to stand in front of your end several times, with this hope that this nightmare could finally end, only to get rewived again.
And then everyone even thinks it is for the better. And I know…
I don’t want to complain because you are the ones who should have all right to complain. You the people, the children and women and who else is not allowed to speak. Why me? Because I am the fool you needed. 😀
But I like to be the fool, as long as I can help to end this mess and don’t make it worse.
You: But you ruined it by writing it all down here.
Me: I know…
You know, the time I was in a clinic for health reasons, there was a woman working there called “Niemand” as her surname (german for “no one”). The people in my group and maybe me as well were making fun of it sometimes. I mean it is obvious with such a name. No one cares.
And I bet you all know what the bible said about rules.
Something like: “Follow them, as long as they don’t go against God.”
Me: *looks into the mirror*
By the way, sorry about skateboard. I wanted to throw it, but it got stuck under the car. But you know it. Sorry that I am still such a mess.
But since I am here, at least something, right?
Everyone: “What would we do without you…” *heads shaking*
Me: If only the countd…
And that’s why I am not a saviour because all I can do is this, it seems.
I can’t be a savior either because I don’t even exist.
And indeed the world must end. But earth is not the world and the world is just part of a concept put into people’s minds. So when I end the world, it is a good thing.
But I can’t do this, can I? Because I am just a fool.
But one thing is for sure. You have to ask questions. But without them you wouldn’t have come this far, am I right?
You: Can he please stop writing all this nonsense and stop using these symbols and act as if he was the king of the world? Gash… dude, you are just another of these sickos. Get real.
Me: I know… I know… but the gun never gave me a bullet to eat.
I should catch the bullet… instead I was the one who shot you first.
Now it might be the time to return your favor.
You: But you haven’t helped me yet. What do you want? You have no idea? Have looked out of the window, at least for once?
Me: I know…
You: Stop with this bullshit. Maybe I should have let you die there in the dust.
Me: I know…
You: No, you know nothing.
Me: Yes, I know…
You: What? What do you mean? Why are you always repeating?
Me: Isn’t this the end?
You: What end? What are you talking about?
Me: Oh, so you aren’t…
You: I am what not?
Me: Nothing, no need to worry.
I always liked when this song came in the radio when I was younger. Especially the trumpets.
You: Which one of them?
I always was just supposed to be the one to put the pieces together.
Most things I saw, only made sense inverted. But at some point I didn’t, couldn’t do it anymore and even now my head is heavy and hurts sometimes. I don’t care that all. As long as I am winning late or at least you.
I would be thankful to die in the snow, if I could give you the life you deserve. But as long as no bullet comes in, no one will die.
You: Not this bullshit again.
Me: Sorry… I know how the world is. Trust me, I know. And it makes me burn, makes wanna burn and scream and break apart. Tears above tears. But the people who think they rule the world are either taking pills or laughing their asses off, while we are dying.
I don’t know what the next days will bring to me, but I will try my best.
You: Your best… lazy loner… what have you to offer? Only lies and games and foolish words.
Actually (probably) you: I don’t know what he is talking about.
But I know that writing down, what I think other people think or are like, is not how it really is. Because it is only in my imagination. So I don’t know.
In case you want to see me dead, go for it.
In case you want to see me cry, trust me, I am thankful for each time and since I was in middle school, I wished that my tears would never stop. But they always stopped until there were almost little to none.
In case you want to see me dance, I am not feeling like it, but if you insist.
You know, I don’t know what you want from me and all I can offer is some kind of love. Some kind of weirdness. And some kind of life.
But since you are all imaginative friends anyways, I might talk to my cat again. At least she seems to be real.
As my duty of the new king of this earth, I declare …
You: Wait, wait wait… who gave you the right…
Me: Let me finish please, I will explain later.
You: Huh? Well go on…
… I declare me as the enemy of man kind. I declare myself as the ruler of the world. I declare myself as your worst nightmare. I declare myself as God. And with that I declare every human being for free to do whatever they want, as long as they realize, this declaration is invalid. And with that, I declare myself as invalid because I am the world and the world is invalid.
You: Eh… are you sure you know what you are doing?
Me: No…. yes… I am not sure. But I can only let my hands write what my hands have to write, since my brain only reads.
You: I am pretty sure you shouldn’t say all these things together.
Me: Why? Who said that? And in case the price for this would be death. You know how it is… death doesn’t want me.
You: I am still not sure you should say such things, it might could harm others instead.
Me: I just thought that they would get harmed anyways because as long as I was here, people did horrible things to each other, even I started to do these things… So what do I have left to lose… Tell me and I will stop and go.
You: I don’t know, maybe us?
Me: Yes… So better lose me than yourself.
You: I don’t understand. And stop telling me what to think or what you think what I am about to say. You can’t know what I am thinking or what I would tell you.
Me: Of course. It isn’t really me, you know? I am screaming like you, just like you.
As I said, teachers are everywhere.
POST SKRIPTUM: Today is Friday, a free day, it is the year 1884. A warm summer breeze, a warm summer ease.
😥 I feel you.
And with that I withdraw all my claims which aren’t mine to make.
So I am nothing again. At least something which makes sense.
Good morning, good night.
Stay safe, but stay and stay calm.
We aren’t in the military here.