Friends, friends and frends




And me:

… when I really need a break.

But brakes are for loosers, ight?


Today my mind made me laugh and it was the good laughing anymore.

It already went into the (Help, I know that everything is so insane in the world) laughter and inside my mind I currently smile. But my head burns and my heart has problems beating.

A normal reaction to realization of one self and the world around.

Why are protagonists in games often alone or in small groups, at least in games with a level of deepness?

The answer is not, because there is only one being.

If this would be the answer, then the whole point of existence would have been a flaw. And because I can’t think this world sane, at least not enough, I know it must be real.

Otherwise the point of being God would be pointless. Therefor the reason to live would be to die. But the reason to die is to live. So if the ones ruling the world are human, then they are dead. Either way, is it not good for us, that we are doing what they say. The problem is, that people think, that it is only about politicians. But they are just having a fun time doing nothing, while talking a lot. Until people either get tired, die or start to get angry and then can get called crazy. Isn’t it fun?

If in the midst of WWII you would have asked, why are we fighting wars? You would have been among many, I suppose. But many thought, they were fighting for their freedom, their people, their country.

The irony is, that in my own country (Germany) I could probably be called a nazi these days or a conservative person, or religious or simply crazy.

I could and I would be called this way, if I would speak about these things in public. Why? Because in the media here and also in other countries maybe, you get convinced that certain words, symbols, ideologies etc. go hand in hand.

When I say, that you should not totally ignore the bible, I am religious.

When I say, Hitler could have been a good man, if he didn’t have the wrong friends, I am a nazi or neo-nazi.

When I say, that national socilism and communism are worth the same as democracy. I am called conservative or stupid.

When I say, that science is just another religion, I am called crazy or stupid.

When I say, that I could get super powers, I will be totally considered insane.

This means, that by the time I started all of this, I officially ended my life, while I found it. This means, that I am living on my own behalf.

In other words, whatever happens to me, is in my hands.

The problem with this is, that I am still not completely free from the world systems. Why? Because we are all in it.

Truth to be told, if I would for example say, that I am calling out my own house with garden as a free and independent state, I would either not being taken serious or …

To be fair, I would have a lot of problems because I couldn’t use the water, electricity and with it internet. So I would then be a rebel claiming land which is by some laws not mine.

But the question is, what would happen, if everyone would simply call their own home their state, with their own laws?

Because most people do this anyways, so called “house rules”. While they of course don’t have too complicated rules like our governments.

If for example one town with its own energy, food etc. system would declare itself independent. This town could become a state.

Why would it not be seen as such?

The simple answer: No one wants actual freedom.

The complicated answer: Because there are rules and documents claiming to know when, how and where a new state could be called out. Of course you have never been asked. I mean, we all are living in such a great system, why should anyone want to change it?

It starts with the word “anarchy” being related to chaos, which it is not.

It ends with the word “order”, there always has to be order. Since when did plants and animals just grow, play and live randomly, wild and free? I mean really, since when or until when?

Because these days you don’t really have much areas in which there is freedom for nature. Rainforests are vanishing on the fly, native people get killed and animals die as well. Not to forget that there is a need to kill animals, otherwise there could be an overpopulation. Never heard that word before, ight? I mean, wouldn’t it be great to just have a little less humans, let’s say around a 7,7 billion? I mean who needs them anyway? They are just loud, they don’t know what they are doing, they do what they get told and stink a lot. So why not just wipe them all out, while taking everything you can from them. Their will, their hope, their spirit and power. Oh wait… this actually happens all the time. It must be normal.

You know, in soviet russia people got put in camps. In the U.S. people got put in camps. In nazi germany people got put in camps. In Japan people got put into camps. In China. Well. I think it is a little unfair to just blame the germans, when clearly everyone did similar things. And not to forget, that the actual war criminals got rewarded or at least went out free, while handing over their knowledge on how to torture, destroy and manipulate people. Funny, isn’t it?

Luckily this is only a horror story and you are just a character in this book. Hopefully an unimportant one, otherwise you could be in high danger.

Nightmares are made of these. But luckily nightmares only last… last as long as you wake up. Right? Well, it depends on how you understand the words “wake up” or “awake”. Because sure, you might be not sleeping, you are eating and doing things. But when most of what you are doing is not your will, then why should you let it happen?

It is like: “Hey kids, you are free. You can do what you want!”

And then they actually do what they want.

And it is like: “No, no, not like this. This is crazy. Look, I show you how it is done.”

And then you fall asleep, at least if you do it like me and at some point just give in because you feel so alone. And being inside with everyone else is so much more “fun” because you suffer all in the same way. Right?

I mean “all” is relative. You could also say “ball” or “wall” or “mall”, not to forget “fall”.

The problem with dreams and reality is, that a dream should only last for a while, while reality should be forever or at least not like the dream. You should easily understand the difference between reality and dream.

Interestingly enough I found a lot of people who even painting dots or other things on their arms, hands etc. and started to check on it after some time. At least if you can believe what some people share on the internet. (some)

Because according to them, they didn’t see the dot (or what they drew) in their dreams. When they trained themselves to check on it even while dreaming, they knew they were dreaming, when the dots (etc.) were gone.

For many people even dreaming at all seems fake or is just a short period of time between going to bed and waking up. But I sometimes had lived whole life times in my dreams. Of course shorter, but it felt like a life time. A summary of a lifetime. I also naturally sometimes just knew that I was dreaming. Then I flew around or sometimes even did things I am not proud of. But I could do what I want, as long as it was that I had control over the dream. Usually I flew around or did things I would liked to do in real life.

But even this sometimes didn’t work. I once had a dream in which I wanted to fly, knew that I was dreaming, but I couldn’t fly and then hit the floor hard and probably “died”.

Why is it so hard to see the difference between dream and reality for many people? At least those who actually dream while they are sleeping.

The answer for this is, that reality was converted into a dream or that I am just in a coma and I imagine all of this. Which given by what I have dreamed and experienced, could actually be possible. But as long as you are reading this and know, that you haven’t written this. Then we are good, I guess. Because for me it sometimes seems as if I could change reality.

The problem with this is, that it could also just be an illusion, making me believe that I could change something with my doing, while those in control or an AI, is simply playing tricks on me.

I mean, in reality hackers could manipulate your whole internet traffic without your knowledge and then give you a feeling of freedom, while they control everything you experience. This is nothing new, I watched something about this maybe 7 years go or something. Maybe even before that. In general, the whole computer technolohy is the most insecure thing ever. I know this, but I also can’t change it on my own, so I have to try to do my best, knowing that it all could be pointless. But the fight is only lost, if everyone gives up, right? Or everyone who knows is dead.

This is why it is so important to get rid of old people, to make people sick and also put a lot of problems between different generations.

Otherwise they could simply exchange their life experiences, find out about weird things which happened in their lives and make sense of it. But who needs sense, clues or an actual understand of anything these days. We have our good ol’ scientists for this.

Scientists who still really want the best for us, they will probably soon be gone or don’t even know what they are doing because they also just follow what the ones before them told them. And actual scientist makes research on their own, experiments etc. Okay, maybe they shouldn’t do everything, for example experiments on living beings. But who am I talking to, right?

Most of science these days is either in the “health”, “industry” or “war” areas (but only from my point of view). And the thing is, that in the end they all come together and build this nice thing.

For me personally it always was like this: If we could finally be really our own masters, we could then actually explore the universe with scientific exploration (if then still necessary) or explore magical things. But not until we are free and actually can trust each other or at least most of us.

In reality you usually can only trust some cubic centimeters or millimeters of your brain and maybe your heart. But since people these days don’t even know anymore what a heart can do or what intuition actually is about, well.. so much for their freedom. I hope and guess you might still have an understanding of it.

The thing is, that the young people these days of course might be smarter in some cases and hopefully can solve things in a better way than me. But it never was their fault. They get flooded with an immense load of information from a young age and then learn upon this information, instead of what they could do on their own. And those who like me, still do learn on their own, which will probably always be the case, they will get broken. Because they realize that no one really understands them.

Some years ago people were shocked about the NSA spying on us all, while of course every other secret agencies, maybe some random hackers or kids could do the same. And I mean when it came out, it was around 7 years ago. It was the first time I felt a little less crazy because I knew all this years before. How you might ask? Well, simply because I watched TV. As silly as it might seem. But if you, like me, have a sense for “good” information (something actually interesting and meaningful), you find a lot of value in some silly, funny TV shows. Besides the static and other jokes of course. I mean, otherwise it would be too obvious, ight?

The thing is, I often wonder (in case they exist), how people read or go through my blog posts. Do they actually read them. And if so, do they also listen to the music while reading, like I do when I am writing. Or do they just read it like a funny or weird story for them to drift away a little. Knowing that it “of course” is all just bullshit and I must be making it all up, or jokes or just be crazy.

I also wonder whether they see me as if I am a complete mess, overreacting in public, screaming at people for nothing. Waving around my arms and probably talking all kinds of weird things.


I imagine people think that I must be like this guy. But hey, I also sometimes where glasses. So you never know. The problem is, after you successfully presented some people (be they actually this way or just told to be so), you can convince other people that some words are related with madness.

But if you remember Orwell, you know that the people will themselves tell that they are crazy. So that the others could treat them as crazy.

But I bet, if I would talk to you, I would more sound and seem like the guy who is talking to this boy.

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