As he had told him, he went to the place where there is no light.
His friend Winston was already waiting there.
He hoped, that he might be the one, the one to help him.
Then he made his routine, asked the questions, played some tricks and tried to manipulate him. He knew it had to be him, no one else got this far.
But after all the talks, after all the conversations he had with him, there was just the same resistance, the same fear in his eyes, like all the others.
Winston wasn’t the one it seemed, but maybe one day. Maybe one day he would return and check on him again. Or who knows, maybe another one comes. Another Winston or Julia might appear, giving him a second chance.
He could only hope anyone better than him. Because he had lost it a long time ago. And everyone else with him. At least from what he has seen.
He had seen it all, in his decades long career. Is there no one out there who would be better than him, better than the party? Maybe there really just was the party. Always and forever.
I am glad I am not O’Brien and also not Winston or Julia.
But then who am I?
And the better question: Who are you?