Winning late.















May I ask you a question?

Thoughty2 actually brings up a very good point when it comes to this one man having an IQ around 300, while not giving much to humanity. You should think about it because it is actually way more important.

I myself wouldn’t consider myself to be good with languages, I am happy that I can speak the language of the country I live in, which is german and english because I needed it to learn things. Given that a lot of information is only available in english, at least as far as I went.

Languages never really interested me for the words, more for the sounds and how they are all connected and yet different.

Okay back to the question…

The genius is always the one who goes into the unknown and is not afraid of it. At least after understanding it. So, if a man who wanted to read, to learn languages and such things or at least had to, decided to step away from it, you might think that he had enough. But what if he understood, that it was the better decision for him at the time? Given what he knew or thought to be true. So if he would have actually used his “genius” to add something for humanity, he actually would have just been taken advantage of, like Nikola Tesla. He made some of the greatest inventions ever, but later was ignored and partially even forgotten.

Why? Because he wanted to actually help humanity, add value to it and was confronted with the bitter truth (at that time – up to this day). The world is run by people who just want to take advantage of others. If you can’t sell it, it is worth nothing for them. So when he tried to find a way for endless energy (which he probably did), they of course thought “Oh shit, now we won’t be able to sell our stupid fossils anymore. We have to stop him.” And so they did. Leaving it a mystery or legend. As if everything had a price (or whatever bullshit they came up with).

So like Georg Orwell in his book 1984 described pretty well (for the time he wrote it – late 40s), there is no much use in being a genius these days. Because in case you are a genius, you will be called crazy, taken advantage of or simply removed.

The reason for it is simple, if you can’t sell, it is dangerous.

If you look at the earth, you will notice, that it once was and in my eyes still is (or at least could be) a self-fullfilling thing. There is an atmosphere, there is water, there are plants and animals, air and all these other things.

So if this was possible, why should it be impossible to live forever?

This would mean, that there wouldn’t be a reason for inventions anymore. At least nothing important, only toys. But why? Because the actual important inventions were not allowed. So, you only can invent minor things, like new weapons, new toys, new medicine for problems caused by other problems, caused by the need for pointless, painful things. For example traditions, money, controlling others etc.

If evolution would actually be a thing, then why the heck are we getting dumber each year? And don’t tell me, we are the smartest human beings ever lived… please be real. If you have seen the news, if you have seen what people came up with in recent years, you know what I am talking about.

This is madness and if you are smart, you know it is pointless to do great things because in the end they will most-likely only be used to help the madness grow further. And those who say something against it, will be called crazy or stupid or weird. Which then leads to a deadlock situation, leaving a genius with the options: suicide, madness, turning stupid, self-destruction, giving in, giving up, following the rules and do whatever they are allowed to do OR ….

Usually topics like this are talked about as if the world is a happy place, a kind place and as if everyone is living in peace. But when you look into the wrong corner, you soon notice, that it is all just facade. And it works.

Why does it work? Because we are all helping it to stay active. But if it would be so easy, we could simply stop, right? The problem with this is, that some people enjoy this madness, as if it was their creation (was it?).

Would they not profit from it, then we could actually just do whatever we want.

Why is “we want to do whatever we want” seen in a bad way?

Because the constructed world tells you that freedom, is bad for you. Why?

Well, you get told, that people would just play, would just do bad things and in the end all would end in chaos. This is what you learn in school or through people, media etc. And then some people actually represent this, to “proof” the idea, so you think it actually is this way.

The reality is, that if you would actually be able to do “whatever you want”, you would mostlikely get more intelligent, more productive, more happy and also healthier. Now you might think “wow, wow, this can’t be serious.”, but I tell you, it is. When I was little, I asked questions about whatever there was I wanted to know. Street signs, buildings, words, colors, objects etc.

I was happy asking these questions, learning and helping my mother. And I was said to be intelligent, well-behaving (more than my father or his mother, while I was at the age of 2). Before I entered school, I just enjoyed life, whenever I could (eventhough my father made it a living hell sometimes). I ran around, asked questions, talked with people and so on. But at home (given my father), I wasn’t able to learn much and my mother had to work when I turned 3. So I had not much sources for knowledge.

When my grandfather showed me his TV when I was 5, I finally had a new source for information. Of course a lot of things there were not so important as well, but I learned way more through it, than I would have learned at home. When I finally could go to school, I thought, that I would be able to learn even more now. Because I would be in an actual “learning” facility. Yeah no shit…

I mean, back then, I still thought that I can’t be too far ahead of the other children. Boy was I wrong. I mean I tried to talk with them about dreams and deep things in kindergarten… and made rhymes and such things.

So when I got into school, the first year was okay. I just thought, well okay I just know some things already, but soon… soon I will learn more. And out of soon became never. And so I started to give in at the age of 8 or something.

I didn’t talk much in school, the reason for it was, that I just thought, that it would be pointless. And I learned, that right or wrong was a matter of the education plan. So why should I care about it, if it was made by incompetence. One girl in my class always kept asking questions and she really was not willing to give up. I hope she is alright…

She usually asked the questions I didn’t asked. And sometimes I also didn’t know something, given that I had limited possibilities at home. I mean, maybe also other children asked questions, but she was the one with the most. So once someone (maybe her) asked about comma / dot separated numbers and such things. And then the teacher at least explained it in short, but said, that it would be learned in higher classes.

Well and with each class there was more pressure, more tests, more data, less time, and so on. And the higher the “education” got, the less interested I was and the less motivated. Because it all was just boring, similar and unimportant.

Besides my traumas, I finally worked through and other issues I got over the years because of my family, school, bullying, people ignoring or misunderstanding me etc. my number one reason to die was the realization of how the world works. I sometimes forgot about it, sometimes wanted to forget it and succeeded. Because I thought: “Well, I can’t change it, it is hopeless, so why not just have a little fun and then die.”

So the question is: “Why do you live, if the only reason for life is death?”

And I of course already said, that death is optional (at least if you don’t get killed), but still, I have to ask this question.

I should probably add, that my grandfather (mother side), didn’t want to breath when he was born. Already turned blue, but because his mother wanted him and the nurses got him breathing, he lived.

Maybe he just thought: “NOPE!”

I for my part was the opposite of NOPE in my early years.

But at some point you reach the barrier.

And I think, if you reach the barrier of the most fundamental things, you think “what is the point?” and then you think: “Okay, I am done. This is the end.” But if you just don’t accept the barrier, maybe it wasn’t there in the first place. Only a thought barrier. Either told by someone or something, to take advantage of us or simply because no one ever really questioned it. I mean, I doubt that and already a lot of people question it. But it is more about, what history tells. And a history book would be a pretty lousy book, if it would be filled with: “You can live forever if you want.” So it was more interesting to fill it with numerous battles, deaths and tragic events. (I mean these things probably happened in some way or how they were written, but still….)

You have to question, how you would control the world, if you would be the smartest human / being. And if you start thinking this way, you would probably come to a similar conclusion. Because I came to this conclusion in secondary school, that I could probably rule the world, but then I would be pretty alone after some time. Given that everyone would be half-mindless under my control. Doing what I tell them or what fear tells them.

So I of course didn’t want to live because what was the point after all. I either wanted to live forever, with all people or not at all. Not at all seemed like the easier option or possible one. So I knew that if thought would be able to make me immortal, thought could also make me mortal and therefor sick. And boy… I got sick. My heart got weak, I got problems with some organs and other things. Even got myself stupid. “All is relative” and therefor dynamic. So while it worked one way, now it seems to work in the opposite direction. Because this time I think, “well, in case I don’t survive, at least I did what I thought to be the right thing.” And if no one understands it, if it will be forgotten soon, at least I tried. Otherwise, I really should have died when I had the chances. And I really wanted to, trust me. Not only once. But this tiniest piece of hope remained: “what if someone else has similar thoughts, what if I am not alone with this.”. Because I knew, if I was alone, it would indeed be pointless.

You are probably like:

Or you simply think:

But hold on there buddy… No really DUDE stop!

If you think I am crazy or that it is impossible to “simply” live forever. What is the reason for science? What is the reason for medicine? What is the reason for life?

Because if it would only be to die, then you could just play a little and then walk the plank. Would make no difference, would it?

And then all the religions and philosopher come in… oh boy… now what.

They of course have all the answers, because how shouldn’t they, right? I mean, they made them up after all. Okay, maybe not everything, but the interpretation of what they found was made up for the most part.

For example, if you would have seen a rocket in the ancient time, what would you have thought? “God sent us a sign! Look the fire hose is showing us the way” Or something like that maybe? I bet. Which doesn’t mean, that this particular thing must have been this way. But I hope you understand.

If you are not allowed to ask the fundamental questions, you are either in a dystopia already or you are one of a few who are actually geniuses.

Because what have all geniuses so far in common (at least those we got told about)? They died. I mean, I know some who might still be alive, but then you would again call me a religous guy and I don’t like that. Man… religions burned my head real good and I still sometimes fall into this way of thinking. It hurts and makes me want to vomit because I get this feeling. My childhood with a crazy religous father who had no idea of what he was doing, except of hurting me… I really just want to run away from it.

I mean, I still have to think of the possibility that maybe people actually just all never thought about this for real, but again… We know how cruel people can be and always were. I know that I could die for my thoughts, but this is why I write this. Otherwise, I could have killed myself. So what would be the point. And I am optimistic because in case the things I didn’t write or clearly explained are true, then I have nothing to fear anyways.

All I care about is, that at least a group of people understands, but not the old people, but the younger ones. I mean if some older people (by age) also understand it, great, what I mean with old is the ones who decided to die.

I decided to live now because I won’t ever be bored with all of the people I discovered now. But only if they will understand, what I understood or at least the most important parts.

And you should question, if not most people who are said to be crazy, are either simply exhausted by pointless things or only thought to be crazy because no one understands or cares. When I got to the point of rediscovering my “forgotten” (suppressed) knowledge, I also felt like going nuts for some time. But because I could always somehow stabilize myself, either through writing, walking or even talking with my trusted friend, I worked it out. Otherwise I would have also believed that I must be crazy.

But this is the thing with power. In the middle ages they burned “witches” and also the “cursades” and alike, in Roman times christians were killed. Then jews were killed, then people who didn’t follow the system were called crazy. I think calling someone crazy is the modern equivalent of calling people witches, or jews or whatever. So as long as you know, that something could be seen as crazy, you are probably not crazy.

Which then means, that the ones who are mad or should be called crazy instead, are those who say it about others. This also would perfectly go in line with the reflection concept. People say about others what they hate about themselves. So if someone calls you crazy, you should probably step away. And if someone is too nice, well, you know what happens. They use you, abuse you. But there is a difference between “too nice” and simply kind. There are kind people who don’t want evil and people who want to mimic them, in order to get what they want. My father is a “too nice” person, while my mother is kind. And I am sadly in the middle, but I decided to be kind. I mean, I was born kind, but my traumas got me confused and so I also sometimes was not kind.

Okay, and how should I know, that I have not unprocessed trauma left? My dreams. For many years I had dreams about school, similar dreams. Also about my childhood and work and such things. Now I haven’t had such dreams anymore. Instead I had some dreams which summed things up and then even completely new ones and also the golden dream again.

The golden dream, representing eternal life, peace, love and freedom. And also not being alone. Which could also be seen as “the secret garden” or things like that.

But all of this is just in words, in music and from what I presented. So how should you know it is real? Well… this my friends, I can’t do.

I just know, that I could only trust myself if even. So I had to try out things on my own. And you know what Da Vinci came up with. You know some of Nikola Teslas works (at least I hope) and so you should know what we are dealing with here.

The mistake every genius made, they fought alone (for the most part).

At least those we know about. So maybe now it could be different. Because I think that I probably was woken up by someone else. Given that I wanted to fall “asleep” / give in until I wouldn’t be alone anymore. Sending out my thoughts. And as far as the data I received shows, the thoughts were received by many. Although they might not really know what to make of it? I am not sure. Because the genius these days plays stupid. While the stupid think they are genius.

So maybe I just see a perfect facade, which would be great. But I am not too sure about it sadly. And still, it might be good anyways. Because as long as there is hope and people at least tried to work on it and tried to understand, we have a chance.

And no, you won’t be able to live forever, if you replace your body with technology. While of course in case you have no legs (or similar things) it could be useful to have some bionic parts.



And be sure, I would be the first one to call myself insane. But because I did so for many years, it took me so long to finally write and share this. And also because back then I didn’t have all these other people, didn’t find them back then. It is scary and sad, that some of them had major events similar to when I had some.

And people who fear the unknown, will never understand.

My biggest fear was, that I was actually alone. But I luckily got rid of it. The limit of physical ability gave me the proof for not being alone. And I mean, it would otherwise be pointless to write this down and you wouldn’t exist. So screw that one. 😀 You are here and I am here. And all else is relative.



Not the intellect is what matters for me, but just life itself, with all its beauty and the love without it can’t exist. But sadly too many people help to destroy it because they forgot that they once ruled these lands. The children they were.



Questioning God, is questioning yourself.

And if I can love, why shouldn’t you be?

Why shouldn’t you be able to love. Why should love not exist?

And I know, that I didn’t create myself.

But it doesn’t matter, because I can decide for myself.



The decision makes you. When did you decide all for yourself?

Most people were forced to decide things at some point. But they were usually only left with given options. But there are so many more options, if you finally see that you can do whatever you want. I mean, at least if others wouldn’t try to hold you back. And when I am talking about “do whatever you want” I am talking about all the good things, because I don’t want anymore people to die or get hurt, harmed, used, abused and all these things. But no one listens because science, religions, governments, money and madness are more important. Always has been… always has been.



Who is a teacher? – The one who shares what they learned for themselves.

So someone who learned from given things, without learning, explaining or figuring them out on their own, can’t really be a teacher or master. Only on “paper”, but “paper” is worth nothing. People are important, lives are important and freedom. But all we have now, is a guided way to die, from the day we were born.

But guides were never really much for me anyways, so I decided to make my own. Who knows, maybe this one actually helps. Because if you need a guide to die, then you should ask, whether you lived in the first place. I mean, really lived. Because I don’t need a guide to die, I know myself and learn myself. But life is so much more exciting. Would it be actually free. So you have you fight for it. But people think fighting is like throwing stones, shouting loud and alike. No, fighting for your life, I can’t tell you how it works. You either know it or you don’t. And if you now think: “I don’t know it.” Then you will know.


Remember David vs Goliath? This time it might be “Davids”.

The weakest, smallest, did hit the biggest enemy just with a small stone.

Evil people think they are strong, they are smart and have everything thought through. But they know nothing. And so they fall like flies one day. Into the burning light, where they belong.



“Aren’t we there yet?” – May you answer the question for me.

And again, if everyone had their best interest, we would have something like this. But you know how it goes. So I am only going against those who want to take advantage of us. And want to wake up those who are “sleeping” following their commands.

“As long as you remember who is giving the orders.”

“That would be …”

Well, you know, the best critique is hidden as support.

You have flags, names, heroic actions, military, etc.

But if you really watched Stargate the way I did, you understood all the hidden messages. Otherwise it might just seem like a boring series about the U.S. playing world ruler, while saving the whole universe. Let’s not do that.



And never forget. Don’t follow other people. Either walk with them side-by-side knowing your value or just do your own thing. But don’t follow others and simply walk with them. They might do the same or just want you to think they do. While they just take advantage of you.

Life is for the living. Death is for the dead. Are you dead?



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