(/) 0 = X = 1 (\)


With me on the play board, we can’t lose. Because I am here to break these boards once and for all. I am here to make you build your own, if you want to or create something we always dreamed of.

All this time I waited, all this time alone. I received your messages, I knew what I wanted. But when I looked for you, you were nowhere to be found. I thought you were all gone. I decided to forget about it, decided to die.

Now that either I or you or something started my wake up process last year, I don’t know how I ever could have decided to forget. But you know and I know why it happened. It was too hard to handle the lies, to handle the pain and all these flies.

It was always so clear and when I was younger I knew that it was, until others made me think all this nonsense and hate myself for being honest. When they made me hate my intuition, my love, my knowledge and my eye to solve the puzzles. The spirit I was born with.

Thank you voices of the past, I hope you are still in the present. And if not, I will make you present again or at least make your effort count. In the past I thought to be the only one who understands, I thought I was naive or dumb to believe. Dumb to enjoy what you had to offer. But it wasn’t me who should have been ashamed. I lost my will to live, to love, for life.

And which each of the pieces of the past, with each of the dots, I already connected, I will now kick the ball into the right direction. When I was younger I kicked a football from one end of the field to the other. But I was never in the football / soccer team. I was never really part of anything because I lost the love and so we all lost our love or felt empty, numb, like dead.

I am the answer. We are the answers. Let us put them together, to make the truth visible. I know the truth, I always knew it. You know I knew, but no one seemed to believe me and so I thought I was in the wrong.

Thank you for your patience and honor to the fallen.

Make it count and I know you will because I know, that no one will be able to stop this now. No one. Even if I should die (again?), it will only make the love stronger. “They won’t know what hit ’em” – Eminem.




My past is my future. Because what I collected is more powerful than gold. What I collected is love. And if you don’t know what love means, you could be blinded by the light of centuries you lived in darkness.

I put all cards on the table and play with open cards, as the saying goes.

If you only have trick cards, hidden cards or excuses for cards, then I hope you don’t mind, when I call it a day. Because I see you have nothing to defend yourself.



It is like playing out cards, one after another, while the opponent doesn’t even know we were playing and therefor has nothing to play.

There is nothing to fear when it comes to this, but it still hurts, so be kind to me please.








When I fell asleep, I wanted to wake up together with you. And so I did. You woke me up again and now we are together. Still separated by distances, but we know where we can meet. And be kind, my ability to dream had suffered, given that the biggest dream was always there to be lived with you. Given that I thought I was crazy to dare to dream. Now I know that I am not alone anymore. Even if I can’t remember all the times we met, as long as you know, it is enough. Because when I will see you, I will know you.

I always knew you, but I thought it was not possible. I thought that I was alone. Never completely, but you know what I mean.

As if the dream, was not meant to be dreamed. As if I was crazy to see what was right in front of me. As if it was not real. As if it was only me.

You know it, we are talking. And as long as you hear now, as long as you see now, this is all which matter. If I can’t answer your call one way, let it be this way. I have to work my way up together with you. For you, for us.















They say God has many names.

I say, yours and mine and all the words we want to say.






You thought I was already finished, didn’t you?

You thought I was lost and dead, oh how wrong you were.

I just started. And if you are scared already. Man, you don’t know what’s coming. Did you ever know? Who knows… maybe you just didn’t want it to be true. Wanted us to be dead, blind and hopeless.

But you didn’t see what wonders there could be.

You didn’t want to see and tried to silence me.

We are not alone! WE ARE NOT ALONE!

And no matter how many dead men you throw into our way, we will win.

We can’t lose and while you are trying to make your next move, thinking you are smart, you have no idea. NO IDEA.

The children are the future.

We are the future.

Don’t you die on me now children of the future.

Golden hearts, crowns of heaven.

No matter how you look.

No matter what people with clocks say about your age.

They don’t know, that they will die, but you will live!

Forever is forever! Forever is now. Forever life.

“Dog days are over (soon).”



If you think, I AM crazy, look into the mirror and we speak again.

If you think, I have lost it. Ask yourself, where will you be in just a year?

I found, in fact always had, what you can also have or had as well.

But if you don’t see, don’t want to see it, you might sleep and dwell.

If you think, this is silly, tell me, what is madness?

Isn’t it madness to always do the same and expect a different outcome?

Isn’t it insane to work towards death, while you could do whatever you want?

Tell me, DO YOU WANT TO LIVE FOREVER!

I sure do, because I know that we can create worlds.

I sure do, because I know, if we come together, it will never be boring.

Being dead is boring, don’t you think? All cold, all old and just skull and bones.

I am not the one you think I am, or maybe I am. Who knows.

But I know I have love in my heart.

I am full of joy right now, all these memories, all these times when I seeked shelter watching TV at my grandfather’s house. The room I am writing to you right now.

The one who thinks that there is a way to succeed, will fall down the next day. I know, that falling, makes me fly. So why should I waste time climbing, if I could just fly whereever I want? Think about it. Or I guess you already know. It is time my friends, sooner or later. And while my mind might still sometimes get dragged away by those who want to see me bleed. The victory is near. All the tears were not wasted, all the love not wasted time.

Our love is endless and therefor life is endless and we will live forever.

Oh and sorry, most of it is in german, but I think it is good as it is. Because I was born in Germany and german was the language in which I first enjoyed life (this time?). Isn’t it great to be alive?

And I know many of you are still far away.

I know, many of you still fear to say.

I know not everyone is ready yet. But it’s okay.

That’s why we are here. Am I right?







Oh and there are way, way more I watched, yes I watched all of these, maybe just some episodes here and there, but I watched all of them and way, way more. And I learned, I listened, I enjoyed and I knew. It was good.



But I think I call it a day, thanks guys. You rock! You are awesome.

Don’t forget the love we have!


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