Lines, words, letters. [X]

Nothing meaningful, unless for you it is.


I never really finished the “book” or whatever it was.

So I thought I could at least put out the notes I wrote down for the end and maybe give a short summary on how I saw it in a way.

Remember these were most of the notes I wrote and I think half of them were already used, if not more. So it is just a collection of notes.

Notes, notes, notes.

And because these are notes, you can maybe finish the story on your own if you want.

If you should want to read the story, here is the “complete” Lines, words, letters. version.

Or if you preffer the blog version, with music, my weird “comments” (me telling things about myself and sometimes even about the story) and other things: Lines, words, letters. [1]

Oh and I should warn you, I tried to make an audio book version and failed out of insecurities and me not really liking to talk. Especially when I know it sounds weird what comes out of my mouth. But I didn’t delete the first few episodes, in case someone still wants to hear me failing on speaking (I sometimes didn’t even understand myself … oh man…)

At least the videos are not listed anymore, but people here seem to be nice.

Okay, have fun with this crazy or boring stuff and don’t forget, the following were the notes I used (when I had to take notes because the story developed too fast in my head, like a movie).


Alair wakes up in hospital

doctors tell her 6 years comma after car accident

house got sold to small young family

cat first neighbours than family

cat still alive

hospital paid with house money

no hope to get out of comma – but she got out

suicide attempt happened, but short after was car accident

no clinic – no locked clinic only suicide recovery

driver Bernd Stuggenbauer (search name)

driver drunken and died after accident

Alair stayed in hospital until well and tests all good

After got out she went to her old home, had nothing atm

Told man who she was and they invited her for dinner

cat was happy again, they invited her to stay a night in the old guest room

she got a notebook and wifi and searched for things, found activist

she wrote with some and one answered and wrote she could come to them

after the night she said good bye to her cat and the family

first she went to bernd stuggenbauer grave

bought some flowers and put them on it

„thank you for waking me up“ and tears and smile

what happened to you bernd suggenbauer

she walked into old home forest

what happened to nature

empty and quiet, trees missing, sad she thinks, sees one squirrel and smiles, at least not all lost

now i have to do something about it

actually she contacted forest activism later after forest because she then saw that it was her mission, felt it

then she got with bus and train to a train station where a man waited for her – it was Paul (but was it THE Paul, the author – who knows)

– temp end Alair

Paul and Antony and man were talking

man had killed stevanos son (Margues – Marques or something – search name)

he thought Antony was the son and when the real son of Stevanos contacted he thought it was because of the money Paul owed his boss

when the man talked about it, asked questions Margues was confused and denied rude and in his rage and confusion the man pulled the trigger accidently (partially)

Margues was dead, shot in the heart

the bodyguard shot back but only hit the mans arm a little and killed the guy behind him.

Then the man killed him – three dead bodies and the man shocked, confused

not far away from where paul, antony and he met

hidden small corridor between old houses – industry?

The man (call him Igor or rename later) trys to convince antony to play sons role

enemy clan etc.

stevanos would kill him and maybe even his boss would kill him

and not with gun – slow horrible death

antony just looked like son

(antony was twin brother)

mother gave away one son after birth, paid money, father (stevanos) wasnt in hospital when children came, bodyguard brought her there, stevanos was other country busy

bodyguard was quiet about it and doctors as well

bodyguard died after some years in a fight

mother wanted one son to be saved

told he died

(named him with a special name like holy or angel or something in their language or other – search)

antony and igor go to stevanos and igor wants antony to play role but as soon as they got in gangster take igor and stevanos angry asks what this was about and who igor was and what he was doing here (antony)

stevanos and son had bad relationship and lately margues betrayed his father, stole drugs and money

wanted to own business, hated father

antony said he was not margues but stevanos confused, looked exactly like son.

Asked who he was and yelled for his wife to come

wife came around with glass in hand, when see antony she let it fall down and just tears

makes catholic cross, man asks what was going on – she not talking

antony starts to explain, he got adopted, got told by parents when 14 (around + -)

but didn‘t know real parents, stevanos confused

so you not marguess?

No

and he not has tatoo on arm, shows under pullover thing

antony tells story with dead marguess while igor still hold by gangster

then gangster gun on head when talking about marguess dead by him

but stevanos talking about god, about mistakes, about not believing wife

starts crying, breaks down on floor – on knees.

Wife crying

stevanos said, one son gone, another son found

stevanos asked who igor was

igor told short story on what happened exactly with killing and money and Paul

he thought Margues was business with Paul, but wasn‘t him and then killed by accident emotions

stevanos said about dead son of course, but said to confused gangster put gun down and let free

but igor should wait and listen

stevanos regret bad life, bad money, wants change, wants do better, god gave second change, second son.

Wants to give money for paul, for igor after antony said paul no money and igor boss angry

stevanos invites igor and antony to stay when want, but first son dead still where left

wife says antonys „real“ name, wife explains why she did it, wanted to save son, no mafia, wanted good and safe home

stevanos and her in arms on the ground crying together gangster just confused

stevanos wants to help children with money, poor families, poor schools etc.

igor should go to boss and tell everything, the truth and stevanos wanted to meet with igor boss to prove story because three people dead.

But then son still dead on street paul waiting at home

igor not long with his boss, didn‘t know guy behind him was neffe of boss

stevanos wanted to meet where dead bodies, dead son with boss

igor told boss, they met there, stevanos holding dead son in arms crying

other boss found his neffe dead too (didn‘t know about deal)

first wanted to shot to stevanos, but then antony step forward and igor boss put gun down

confused as well, they talk a little about what happened, about twin brothers, about change

about god, antony not believed in god, but in something more, something higher

stevanos didn‘t really believed in god, but wife, and now he believe in god

antony also believe in god now, but different, but both talk about god now and change

igor boss just confused, took money and drove away, igor was free to go, stevanos no harm

stevanos with antony graveyard ceremony, father son mother and paul and igor

in the distance igor boss watched but didn‘t walk there – asked about god, about what going on

paul didnt believe god or higher thing, father army soldier often not home and rude

mother was drunk often and also believe in god, but not really so he never believed

now paul eye opening – igor boss at least thinks about possible from distance

what happened, what do they see, what I don‘t he thinks

later stevanos and antony and paul at launch happy

stevanos goes help poor families and starts a school campaign for poor families and lost young adults, no weapon, no mafia, no drugs, hope

— temp end

You think it is?

Do you think?

Who are you?

Turns around towards reader / viewer

some of it might be true

maybe all of it

maybe it is all just pure fiction

how should you know?


Short summary on how it should have went and how in some way it developed in my head:

  • Stavros and family (including Anthony and Igor) help the helpless and homeless people, especially children.
  • The other gangster boss with his crew were’nt convinced at first, but they noticed the change and also got curious.
  • Alair decides to fight for nature and wants to live in a forest camp together with other people.
  • She meets Paul who is then already part of the movement and he brings her there and they get to know each other more.
  • At the end the reader is confronted with themselves and also the possibility for a different reality.

Sadly I didn’t finish it and also have no power nor interest in doing so right now. But now you know how it was supposed to be, at least the very short version. And maybe you got some ideas for yourself.



Just a normal day, you don’t want to hurt anyone.

People start hurting and attacking you, no one stops them. Then you stop them and you get arrested, while already being in prison.

Seems legit.



Edit: I figured out that the document I linked as “complete” version, was actually the wrong file. I just uploaded the full manuscript now and linked it instead of whatever the previous file was. Sorry. And the document I uploaded also is a little different from the blog version. There could be a few different sentences or word corrections missing. Hope you enjoy it anyways, in case it is interesting for you. 🙂

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