Moments of sorrow

Moments of peace



We don’t have to fight, those who are awake. We don’t have to fight with words to scare, with weapons to hurt. We can fight with words and actions to heal, to help to show love. Too many fight for themselves and just themselves. Too many just fight for others who control their lives. Too many don’t care for themselves and others.

This is the war we are fighting here, while everyone else is fighting on other fronts. Some fight others wars which are also important, they fight to save lives with whatever they have and can do in their power.

And we also need that. Whatever you can do to save others, support others and be good to each other. Do it. Because if we all start to fight each other over and over again, we only lose all together, while others might laugh. Laugh until they realize that they have nothing at all.

We won’t win, if others tell us what to do, while it makes no sense.

We won’t win, if others try to make us hate or fear each other.

When I said, you can’t trust other people, I meant it as a warning, because anyone could go against you. And that you have to understand this and be ready for it. But if you know that. You can try to be the one to help. Because when you know, that you don’t want to betray someone. Then you know something. If you would trust yourself then you could trust someone else. And if they betray you, you would still have yourself to trust.

But if more people would realize how dangerous and beautiful the world is, we wouldn’t have to think so much about the betrayel part because we would know that we can’t be broken. Sadly no one tells us this or shows us this. There are so many people who say: “You have to be strong. You have to fight.” (me including), but what does it mean? It doesn’t mean to let others tear you apart. To let others make you suffer more and more, until you can’t do it anymore.

You also can’t really rely on professional help because if it is “just” professional help, with money, set times and a distanced therpy etc. then you would feel not much better. At least not without it around. But the goal is to actually feel what the other one feels or at least give them enough space. And professional help usually can’t do this. Some people there can and to some point it might help, but if you can’t take as much time as you need, it will not really work. A true friend or therapist who actually cares for you, might take a whole night to talk with you. If that is not possible, than how should you feel loved, how should you feel free?

There are many ways and sometimes professional help might actually help, but it doesn’t take away the core problems. The lack of love, the lack of freedom and the lack of peace in the world. This is why we are here, to make it happen. Because I don’t want to hear and see more people who have to die because others didn’t pay attention or they felt lost and alone.

If you feel like Hanna Baker, you know that no one can help you, so it would be not helpful to recommend her or tell her to search for professional help.

What she needed was love and someone who she could trust. But at the end she had no one, felt completely alone and therefor left.

Sometimes an honest smile to someone on the street could save their life. Sometimes just a person sitting next to you, maybe having a small talk or just looking at each other with open and kind eyes could save a life.

But in this fearful, rushing, stressed and scary world, most people don’t take the time or see the point in such things. Others are there to do it and then they also have only limited time and in the end, no one takes time or really sees the person behind the eyes, the body. Just another client, just another problem. Even if they care, they limit themselves on time and other responsibilities or the need for professional distance. This is so much bullshit. We need people who really care and want to help. And there are, but way too few.

These days I wish I could just teleport myself to everyone who needs a helping hand, needs a big and long hug or just an ear or two to listen.

I wish I could split myself into a million copies and go around the world.

But sadly it doesn’t work like this, does it? Well, I never saw something like this in real life so far. Only in anime or other shows.

It would be enough if people like me do whatever they can. I also will make some things soon. But not everyone has to take care of everything. See what is important for you and maybe look around, whether you see someone alone. Don’t try to lead them somewhere else. Be the one to help them yourself. Because who tells you that the other ones will help, if even you won’t?

I know… I am talking a lot again and yet I do so little. Maybe I am also just one of the scared people and just can’t admit it. But I think I can’t just drive to everyone I want to visit, especially these days.

Just feel visited by me (I mean not literally, but I would if I could). :]

Maybe one day, we could actually meet. I hope so.

I mean I don’t know you or at least not all of you, but this can change.

And well, at first it might be a little awkward, but better awkward or a little weird, but funny, then cold and professional without any results.

Why is it so hard… but I guess it actually isn’t, would we see, that it only was set to seem hard. Because this way it is easier for those who want to rule and play God. Whoever or whatever they are. We are not alone because we have us. We have life and they have not. So we have to give them life so that we all can live. And if they don’t want it, it is their problem.

Sadly they will kill and scare and torture until someone stops them.



She made a sacrifice, a sacrifice we shouldn’t need, we shouldn’t want.

It changed the world. People woke up, at least a little, at least for a while.

And this is a story. But why do people usually first need a story to become real or a tragic event, an accident, a war, a death to wake up?

Can’t we say, this story is enough, we don’t need it to be real or that there are actually people out there, for those this might be reality or sadly was until they died. We don’t want this to happen to us, so if we don’t want this to happen to us, why do we ignore others who might actually live through it?

You can’t know it, until it is too late and even then you might think, it was their problem or that it luckily wasn’t you. But what if it was you?

For those of you who lost someone through suicide or are struggling with it, I am here for you. You tell me what you need, okay? And it doesn’t help if we die now, if we leave. We are here and we are still here to give hope, spread love and help those who can’t help themselves right now. And sometimes we can’t help ourselves. We mess up, do weird stuff, hurt ourselves… hate ourselves. I have been through all that.

And I can tell, that I don’t want anyone to go through what I experienced and sometimes still do experience.

But this is why I am here, otherwise you might be the one who would have gone through this. Maybe you did go through worse. This is why we live, to make it stop, to help those who are about to experience the same and then even prevent it from happening to others. We don’t need to go through hell to see love and light. Others prepared a hell for us on earth, so we have to hold against it, so that those who come after us won’t have to go through it as well and those who died before us, didn’t die for nothing. If I could, I would stop death from being a thing. But I am just another human…


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