Existence in a dying world?

And I just revalidated myself by looking up since when terms like “schizophrenia” and “bi-polar” etc. are used. Well, since the 19th century or at least since then it was researched. So you know that if they still use terms which are hundred years old, that they haven’t learned their lessons or that they are willingly doing harm to people who are just different. I mean even the typical saying of psychiatrists: “You need medication. They won’t cure it, but lower the symptoms.” is like: We can’t help you, but here take this, maybe it does something which helps us to handle you better


I continued to go through old school stuff because I want to get rid of it (the “just” school stuff). And I found again some very weird messages and interesting things. So I can say it was totally worth keeping these things. I mean because of the things I did besides the actual school stuff. There were some code messages (with the numbers) and also some poems and short stories. I think some of the poems are already on the blog, but at least now I found the originals of them. And I think I will have to go through the “accepted” things again later, because otherwise I will have a lot of things left again, while sometimes there are just some words on a page for example. I would just put them on one page, marking the different things and maybe put it on the blog later.

(later means some time later, because I don’t know whether I will do it today or in a couple of weeks)

It is interesting how I sometimes was pretty obvious about myself. But I always tried to hide it. I even found a paper with questions from school about self reflection. And I answered them pretty honest at the moment, but in the back of the head I knew that I just hoped, that I just wanted it to be this way. And I also found something about a story or movie we analyzed in school. And there was a boy who was “emotional” and planning his suicide. And maybe he was gay. When I read that, I thought “Excuse me?! The heck is this… nope, nope nope….” Because it actually was a description of myself, at least from some perspectives. The one about being gay wasn’t, but that also was just an assumption back then, I think. And people assumed or thought that I was. So this was pretty heavy tobacco.

If found the word “CERBEROS” and knew it was the dog with the three heads guarding hell.

But when I looked it up, I found out that there is an investor company called this way as well and that since the 90s. And they have some control or at least it seemed this way to me.




Interesting stuff you find, when you look into old school stuff, when focusing on the “unimportant” boring messages.

Very interesting…

And well, Cerberus or Kerberos being the Hellhound or Dog of hell xD well, well. But I neither sympathize with Cerberus nor the bank. Just interesting how there actually is something called this way, which then also has a lot of control over our lives. And they have a wordpress page… pretty lame.

I mean I have one because it was for free and I just paid a little to get more features. But a business with so much money and they use wordpress… well, I guess they are either stupid or brilliant.

(I don’t know… I just got into this way too much, while there really just was CERBEROS written on this one page)

I listen to this “random” playlist and all of a sudden people are talking about thoughts, the universe and existence. Interesting. I guess since last year my mind went on a trip (again) and it never ended and it is good. What a mind can do without drugs is pretty interesting. I mean with “drugs” (substances to calm down or forget – legal or illegal) it also can do things, but maaaaan without… boy. If you realize again that the human body is a collection of many organisms, cells etc. and that it learns to adapt to new environments, situations etc. you know that the brain can and will always “grow” or learn new things and change according to the situation. So if you are blind because your eyes are broken or for some reason not working, it starts to find a workaround you could say. Same goes for communication. So when you can’t speak, either because you can’t reach the people you want to reach or you are unable because your mouth is shut, the mind could try to develop telepathic communication. The problem with it is, that in order to do so, there already has to be someone who listens or sends. I mean, there always is something sending, but usually no one listens.

So if you receive the messages from others and send something back, the mind usually should find better ways to use this kind of communication. Same goes for other things. I mean you have seen the guy in the wheel chair in Queer eye and how he was able to climb a rope, while others who weren’t in a wheel chair even have problems.

The phrase “training makes the master” is of course valid, but usually gets used in a wrong way. Brains have different start parameters, different goals and primary functions. So telling everyone they have to train the same way, the same things is like mass torture and actually against human rights. At least human rights I would want to agree with. Therefor the governments go against God (the human race and each individuum – also each life form).And you only have to follow laws if they don’t go against God according to the bible. And if you are God, I am God and everyone is God and the love between the people. Then heck, the game is played on overkill and no one cares. Or they care too much, but have no clue what they should do because no one told them that they are free, if they want to be free. Actually… yes many told them, but people didn’t understand.

As the old greek said, the majority is always wrong. But it doesn’t mean that the majority is useless, should be abused and used. It should mean, that the majority simply doesn’t understand. And if you don’t show them a way to understand, then well, they will never, of course. And the concept of not telling because everyone has to figure out themselves is also pretty weird because it would mean that people should feel good about the pain others go through, no? But that is horrible.

My mind found a way to somehow cope all of this when I was still little. The problem was, that the coping mechanism back then involved the irrelevance of my life, so it was actually ignorance about my own life. Therefor every pain was like good thing.

And given that it actually taught me to trust myself, it was actually useful, but not necessary, I would say. If I would have been happy about it, I would have been an Agonist, I guess? But I guess I just experienced every possible experience, to merge and like “Meridian” give a center of energy.

Therefor Echnaton was probably lucid as well. Or at least enough to understand that art should be valued and that there should only be one God. But it needed time to understand this knowledge again. And well, while there is still plenty of time and space to express and analyze whatever we are and God also can be, but it is already enough to make a supernova in my mind.

I guess if Echnaton understood that through art and dreams and alike, actually the higher consciousness or someone, something is speaking and can tell what is ahead, he knew what he was doing. No meaning that he knew everything nor do I, but enough to understand that there actually is everything. Knowing everything is actually just understanding that imagination is just the way the mind(s) process data. And that imagination can express or become reality one day or in the very moment.

This would then mean that magic is actually existing, what I personally believed for long. But for me magic is not about telling spells, making weird rituals and such. It can be, but for me magic is just a word for power, force, control over matter and beyond. So a magician is just open minded and can use the energy around them.

As Tesla said:

“If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.”

― Nikola Tesla

And because we know that there are atoms and these are made out of different particles which have energy on their own, well, you know.

There are also other particles and we discover more and more. But scientists are just discovering, what magicians knew all the time, but maybe didn’t name or analyze, just used. This would mean, that science would actually be unnecessary. But could be seen as a label and declaration thing.

So science could still be a thing, but would only serve as a explanation source and not as a “I need to do a lot of complicated stuff to get something”. This would also explain why some tests are pretty useless and don’t really work. The problem is in the believe. So if you believe the test works, the test could work.

But if you are skeptical, the test might not work or only sometimes. This would mean, that science is playing a game with itself most of the time, like other industries etc. but they do it on purpose, I guess. So if science is doing it on purpose, science would be just a new church. And if not, science should probably stop doing what they are doing, wasting all the money. And maybe focus on actual important stuff. Things people actually need, instead of new ways to do what the body can do on its own.

For example ways to do things natural and without harming the environment. Because while you of course could go back to the age without electricity, I think that is not necessary. But it depends on perspectives again and I would say, that people should be able to be free in the way they want to be free. As a kid most know that (or at least it still is easier), but after some time they forget about it because they get told they can’t be free.

It is a trick and most people fall for it or at least act as if they do. And if not, that I am just an idiot talking with myself again… yay… would be pretty weird and sad, but I don’t think this is the case. If so, then why help. But because it changes things, I do that. The reason to life is to give it. Not necessarily giving the life, but to give reason to others.

What for example would happen, if I would create some metal rings, or maybe other things you could wear and say they are magical. And maybe give each of them specific magical abilities. Then I would give them other people and tell them what they can do. So if they believe that, they will do that. But why? Well, because the mind adapts to the idea and develops a way to do so. At least from one perspective. Another one would be, that all is magic and when I want something to be magical it is magical. Or, this is actually a dream, but we are all part of it. And therefor all is possible. But then, when would you know that it isn’t a dream, if everything is just a dream, right?

Interesting questions, other probably answered. I mean I know way to few things in detail, but I know that there is way more to the things around me and that the truth is usually there where most people don’t expect or search for it. Right in front of them.

Or inside of them.