Through my life my mind was quiet often. When I just listened to my surroundings, when I was swimming in a swimming pool, when I was watching a great series on TV or my computer. While I was dreaming and when I felt good.
I often hear that you have to meditate some time a day, that it will make your brain smarter and shut off the thoughs etc.
Well, maybe it does that for some people, I don’t know. I just know, that in my case I sometimes got the best ideas while doing nothing or just something I wanted to calm down and relax. Be it playing games, walking, sitting on a bench, watching a movie etc.
Because of the way I do and did it, it was good and felt like meditation. I don’t know exactly what others find in meditation or what it is meant to be. For me it just means to calm down, relax, find out about what is actually going on inside of you and around you and feel good.
If even Monks play video games and only act all serious in front of the big camera, you know that things really aren’t how they seem.
So when people are talking about to shut off the thoughts, I think, well so you need mindless, dreamless creatures?
When I “meditate” (and yes I also sometimes was lying in my bed or sitting on the ground listening to music and my thoughts were all gone for some time), I often get the best ideas. So I think the problems are the negative thoughts and you can’t get rid of them, if you think meditation is meant to do that.
I mean, meditation is just a word, so how you do it is up to you, mainly about to feel good, relax and break free of all the shit which drags you down.
I often find that people think, meditation has to be done in a certain way, that it has to be about timing, about the right music or none at all. Also that you have to do certain movements or sitting positions etc.
In my eyes, it is all nonsense. Of course not “all” all, but most of it. So it is up to you. I mean, if you listen to very aggressive music, the chances to calm down are lower, but maybe for you it works. This said, when you meditate, you experience your feelings to a deep level if you want. You can find solutions to problems unsolved yet, either in your life or in general.
I heard from some people, that meditation didn’t work for them. And I believe them, but I know also why they think it didn’t work. It is that they probably got told or thought it has to be done in a certain way. But this only leads to stress again or at least a negative feeling towards it. Then you automatically have pressure in a way and the whole thing is of course pointless.
To meditate (in my eyes) doesn’t mean to shut off your thoughts, it means to either analyze your feelings or at first just to relax. And whether you relax while listening to some folk metal, classic or K-Pop etc., it isn’t that important, it is important that it makes you calm down.
And when you can relax, the negative thoughts will fade. If only for a short time maybe or a long one, but then there is room for the good ones.
So when I “meditate” I get pretty cool and interesting thoughts sometimes. Would I force or want my mind to be quiet, I wouldn’t get those.
The reason why many people can’t get their negative thoughts go away is, that there is not much they control in their life in general. Or if so, that they feel left out. And that is totally understandable from my side.
So if you have so much negativity going on around you, that you can’t even see the sense in your life anymore, trying to shut off thoughts through meditation is almost impossible. Maybe it works for you, but as I said, it is about feeling, listening and analyzing yourself and the world around you. And if you feel pretty down and bad, you first need to feel a little better and relax. So if you just walk down a park road, play a game or whatever or talk about it with someone you trust, that might be the first step.
But everyone is a little different, so I can’t tell what is good for you or will work, you have to try it out for yourself. I just can tell, that there is no such thing as “the” solution for all problems and “the” way to do something. There are always plenty ways and options, just need to find them or try them out.
I also see that many people seem to meditate in order to get their life together, to get better or something. And if it works, great, but this is not about doing it for the sake of it. It isn’t like doing laundry, going to by goods in the shop. You can’t meditate on the point or just for some limited time. I mean you can of course try it and do it – if it works for you, great 🙂 – but I learned that whenever I was “meditating” / relaxing / analysing / listening / calming down, it either just happened or I just gave it time. And when I was in it, I just let it happen until it either felt like it was over or someone or something interrupted me.
Because setting a timer, let’s say 15 minutes a day, will probably make the whole experience broken or impossible even. It isn’t about time you spent doing it, it is about giving yourself all the time you need and therefor the experience.
So if for you 3 hours of relaxing is typical, that is great. And if you maybe just need around 15 minutes (without counting, timers or such please), that is also cool. But it is about you and not about how others do it or how it works for them.
You can’t really teach the most important things in life, you can only learn them yourself, while others maybe guide you a little or help you understand. But you are you and they are not you. So if something doesn’t seem good for you, try to find what is good for you.
Writing this while listening to the music, this time gave me a sense of meditation for example.
And now you might think: “But you are writing and thinking and listening to this music. That can’t be meditation.”
See (okay maybe I just thought you might think this way ^^).
No, but my brain relaxes while I type down these words, the music helps this time and the thoughts can get out.
Sometimes at first negative seeming thoughts might actually point towards something positive which needs to get out or be done. I also heard a TED talk about this where it was about a woman who heard voices after she got abused and other things. They were telling her all kinds of bad things and she obviously was terrifyed. But when she finally found a therapist who actually wanted to help her and not give her pills or whatever, she learned how to interpret those. So not to take it always literally, but to get the reason behind it.
For example when thoughts would be like: “I hate my life. I am useless. Maybe I should just die. I want to kill my parents. I want to break something…” and so on, that is not good. I mean obviously, but what does this mean?
Well, it means that something is wrong in your life, but this doesn’t mean that you have to be the problem. These kind of thought patterns are actually like to be experience when you have the least to do with it. It might be that you got misunderstood most of the time. Maybe you do a job you hate, just to get money because you need food and to pay all these companies and services etc.
And then people often say, you have to change something. That YOU have to do something because only YOU can do it…. such bullshit.
I mean, of course you can do something, you can do something all the time. But that is not the problem or solving it. So instead of forcing yourself to do something or to get productive and stable again, you should maybe just listen to yourself. Listen to the thoughts, negative or positive and find out why they are there. What the cause is.
For some it might be that the people around them don’t understand them. Others might be ignored or even “mentally tortured” while doing their job. And there could also be a problem with your friends, your partner etc.
But this also doesn’t mean that things are just outside and inside is nothing which could be done. Of course you can do something inside of you and it actually is the best thing to do. But it doesn’t have much to do with learning, with pushing and with forcing yourself to not give up.
It is more about to unlearn all these wrong concepts people believe in, it is about to learn from your actual own experiences and your life. You can learn so much more, if you just listen to yourself.
For example when I wanted to do something or had to learn something, people usually said or showed me how to do it. And when I couldn’t do it this way, they tried to show it to me again and somehow help me do it this way. But it wouldn’t really work. So the first impression of myself was, I am to stupid, I can’t do it. And sometimes I stopped there. When I didn’t I just ignored their advice when it obviously didn’t work for me their way and tried something different. Uusually this made it possible for me to do the thing, while it wasn’t how it “has” or “should” be done.
So things don’t have to be done a certain way. It is more about how people think these things have to be done and that everyone has to do it this way, because they didn’t learn or forgot how to find other ways.
This also is the main problem in society and every aspect of our lives and how the world works. Most people don’t know what they are doing because they got told to do what others say. At least it seems this way.
Best example is school. You never really learn in school how to listen to yourself. Either you have it naturally, like me, or you just listen to what others say (be it teacher or class mates or TV). And you don’t really question it. Maybe some things, but not enough for sure. Maybe you question the “wrong” things, you question yourself, why you should have questioned everything else.
I could shut off all incoming sounds while in school, so I could relax and either draw something or write something, instead of doing what I was supposed to do. At least sometimes. I had these abilities and I know most people don’t seem to “have” them. Well I guess, they have them, but never really used them or knew about it.
Therefor you have to use your brain, I mean in general, otherwise you loose it. But combined with your heart and therefor what feels actually good and right to you. And not what others say is right or good.
Otherwise another leader could come around the corner and tell you: “We have to do this, or kill them, or build that, in order to make this.” and you would just nod and follow. And in the end it wasn’t really good for you. You might got some rewards, some “honor” or money. Maybe you weren’t targeted because you were targeting others, but were you really free and at peace with yourself?
I don’t think so.
So be it a leader of a country, a leader of a revolution against such a leader or just your boss, your partner or friend, listen to yourself. And ask yourself: “Do I really need this person, do I really want to do what they say? Do they actually love me, want me or support me? Or is it all just for their own “good”, their power?”
I hope you will find some answers. Some people might be farther in some areas than me and that is fine. I am me and they can do what is good for them.
So, if you hate yourself. Trust me, I do this pretty often myself. Don’t worry, it is okay in a way. Of course it is painful and if I could change it, I would. But you are not horrible, you are not worthless or a sick person. You might just be sick of all the things you don’t want, so you don’t really know anymore what you actually wanted. Your dreams, your hopes and wishes.
Let us find those together, shall we? 🙂
I found mine and this year they even felt possible to become reality and some of them did in a way. In a good way.
The more a person feels the need to go against themselves, the more it gets clear that it is how the world around them treats or treated them.
Usually a human has the basic need to survive, but if you have the basic need to die, you know that you aren’t the problem. You simply got too many of them or even got called one, but you are not. We are part of the solution(s).
I have no words, just tears. The good ones.