An Angels Borders

It seems as if there is someone in the middle, holding the arms up together.

Big wings, double the size and also wings like a bat beneath them.

A vampire, an angel, a human?

Maybe there is more to it, maybe you see something I didn’t see.

It is fascinating how these background images get me each time, because they get created out of a handful of photos my cousin took and then mirrored, if even.

So there isn’t much I could have planned. I just selected four images again, used my tool to merge them and mirrored the resulting image.

It it is a miracle.

But actually it includes some of my questions and concepts. So maybe I just see it and you don’t. Maybe you now see it because I told you so.

Where is the border between an angel, a vampire and a human?

Isn’t it a little different DNA in the end? Maybe the appearance and heart one has?

A vampire is seen as evil and dark, but what if the whole thing was just misunderstood?

Questions, concepts, answers and music. Without the music, the questions were dead. And wouldn’t I be able to ask these questions, why would I even exist? The other things are already answered, except for some solutions, we shouldn’t need to find.

Looking back, looking forward, isn’t a problem. A problem is, when there is no space to let it develop into something. When people don’t understand, don’t want to understand. I hope it changes, the past years showed some change.

Where are the borders of what can and what can’t be? For me, it is imagination one has. And I guess that way more of us have it, but lost it because of stress, pressure and other things. Most people probably didn’t even notice it, but I did. When I lost my imagination, I felt more and more hopeless. Now that I got it back this year, I see all these beautiful, funny and interesting things to talk about, think about and work on. Solutions which aren’t from within the box.

Maybe you got some as well? Maybe not yet.

Love for myself was the key for imagination and children should never loose it, people should never loose the love for themselves. It is a harmony beyond anything you can buy or get. I felt it many times this year and also when I was younger.

But I of course also fall down very often. And this year was a whole up and down. Still better then the years before, where I was “just” okay, while I actually felt dead inside most of the time.

On this side is no spiritual guru, no preacher nor any other religious, spiritual or whatsoever person. It is just me, John.

Me and my weirdness, my thoughts and ideas, my experiences and whatelse I share and shared with you.

So I am not better than you or others who may stumble over my strange ideas and things.

Maybe I am special and can do things others can’t do or I think different, but this doesn’t mean that I am “better”.

I just think it is important to care for ourselves and people who can’t do this at some point. When I fall down there usually is someone who catches me, if I can’t do it on my own. Even if it is just some music I listen to or a random video. It can save the day or sometimes even a live.

I am still thinking sometimes about my ideas from the “Life as a game like system” or how I called it. Maybe soon I will work on it or maybe someone else or whatever. Life should in general be exciting, fun, interesting and an experience worth living for. Sadly far too often I see it more as a burden, a “must” and not a “want”. Because I bet people would in general be more peaceful and could be happy about the few things they have, when they wouldn’t be in this “life isn’t easy” or “you have to do this” kind of trap. Because of course you will need more and more, if the core problem isn’t solved.

For me there wasn’t really a goal to get out of depression or mental self-harm and whatever traum I didn’t process in the past. But this year, I found it again. When I did quit my job, I knew I wouldn’t be able to get along in the long run. But given that before my long run plan was to finally die, now my “long run” goal is to not have the need to die anymore. And because it will only work, when I search and help those who have similar problems, I started doing so. But it also happened on its own in a way. I just followed my rediscovered intuition. And so far it let me too a lot of great and magical things. I mean, not everyone can tell that they were walking through the woods and have seen wild animals next to them. 😀

I mean wild boars, deers, foxes, squirrels, some birds, bats, bees, butterflies, ants, marten, owls, crows and many more.

And just a few meters away.

Highly sensitive person (HSP).

And while it can be heaven on earth, most of the time it is like hell, I guess.

It depends on the people around you I guess.

While I need some time alone, I never really want to be alone.

I just need time and room where I can be safe, but animals can always come, if they want to.

Today a bee just moved over my knee and arm. I took the bee outside, probably was exhausted or someone confused after getting into the house.

My cat sometimes follows me when I go out for a walk at night and sometimes I follow her. 😀 And then we just lay down on the street next to the house (there usually is no traffic at night – just a side road or how its called).

Sometimes it feels as if I am connected with my cat. When I get home from a walk, she already awaits me. We also play together sometimes. She even touches my hand sometimes when I lay it down next to her. It is a special cat. A special cat for a special me. The cat needed someone like me and I needed the cat. But I also need some humans sometimes. Sadly most humans aren’t like cats, I guess. ^^

But I have my theories on that too. Don’t you worry. 😀

Okay. I will probably go for another walk now, or just sit next to the forest again, as I did the last times.

Till next time and have a good night or morning, depending when you are reading and where you are. 🙂

*Blows a heart into the air*

Okay maybe too much.

I love you guys. 💕