Though(t)s while I write

  • I am writing something strange again.
  • this could be interpreted very wrong
  • people could think I am a religious fanatic
  • people could think I am a sociopath
  • I am acting like a sociopath
  • why do I write so many personal informations
  • do I trick the people I am writing to?
  • it is honest what I write to people personally
  • why does it feel so strange?
  • when I write it just comes out
  • what if I motivate the wrong people?
  • what if I harm people with my writing?
  • what if I am actually narcisstic and just want attention?
  • why am I such a mess?
  • why did I write so much again, no one wants to read that
  • okay some people want to read this
  • do they think what I think?
  • I hope I don’t write anything too radical, what people could bring to think radical
  • I want peace and love in the world
  • Am I writing what I mean?
  • Am I acting true to myself now?
  • Is my mind beyond repair, while I think it isn’t?
  • Am I sane or insane? What is the difference these days…
  • I just want to help people, but maybe this supports my broken mind
  • I am not sure whether I should write at all
  • maybe this is my last post
  • maybe I didn’t think enough about the impact my words could have
  • my words could change the world or people think I am crazy
  • I am probably crazy
  • my mind is so broken
  • why do I want to kick my cat, while I actually love her over all
  • I would never do anything bad to her, would protect her
  • why is my mind so broken?
  • I know why… but can I repair it?

It makes no sense to fear to have no job, when you actually hate the job you have. Wouldn’t it make sense to find what you love and what you actually can do without hate and fear?

Maybe, I will just end dead soon, no matter what. But I am not dead yet. 🙂

And most importantly: I don’t know what I am doing most of the time, but I know that it is something and that a part of me knows what it is, what I do.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.