Nothing meaningful, unless for you it is.
[AUDIO BOOK VERSION NOT AVAILABLE YET]
Chapter 7 – A middle way
The tea was pretty good. And Paul got some chips from the diner down the street. I personally don‘t like chips that much, I am more into crisps, but I still liked them. Paul seemed more relaxed after some hours full of tea, ideas and laughter. He might needed a friend, I sure had friends, but I also stopped doing much with them lately. We both sure had a whole new world to explore.
The names also felt pretty good for both of us. The surname was a little weird because it could be misinterpreted when spoken in a wrong way. But the meaning of her name was just a special thing.
Cheerful ancient, son or daughter of Wolter, in which Wolter was just another name. But son just felt better, it was short and fit the other meaning better.
The naming was more a spontaneous kind of thing, as you might have read in one of the previous chapters.
A very interesting name, don‘t you think?
Alair Alyda Wolters – or short – Ally Wolters
Maybe her short name wasn‘t the best idea, but I mean what would you pick, to be honest?
Alary? Alry? Alyd? I mean, these all just sound strange and feel strange. If the scenery would be somewhere else, maybe, but I mean this is no nordic or celtic history roman, okay?
Paul: „What time is it, Antony?“
Anthony: „It is 3 o‘clock.“
Anthony: „Well, time goes faster than we want it to be, especially when we need it, I suppose.“
Paul: „Man, I guess I must be really broke.“
Anthony: „Sure thing, but it will get better, if we continue like this, you are up again in no time.“
Paul: „Thanks. But I don‘t really think this whole ‚writing‘ thing was such a good idea in the first place. I had some good ideas in the beginning, a bestseller, but this is all.“
Paul: „Now look at me, I can‘t even finish my own book anymore, my narrator has to do most of the work and just because I fucked up. Nothing against you Anthony, I am very thankful for helping me. But I really think you should have become a writer instead of me. Maybe we should both swap positions. Not just when it comes to the actual chairs, you know.“
Anthony: „Well, maybe you are right. I never thought I could be a good writer, but today just opened up a whole new perspective for me. And don‘t worry about the time. I am sure we will figure something out.“
Paul: „I just have to trust you on this one Anthony. And I mean, you could still totally screw my life up, you know? A writer who can‘t write anymore, maybe couldn‘t never really write and a narrator who takes his place. This could be my end, but I am trusting you. It somehow feels right, what you said. I am still not really sure how it works exactly, but you seem to have something I don‘t have. Do you know what I mean?“
Anthony: „I am not sure, people sometimes say I have a special kind of personality, but well I never made much of it. I am ‚just‘ a narrator, you know?“
Anthony: „Nonetheless, we need to at least make something until the time is over. I don‘t think we will finish the whole story until 10, but… and this is just guessing, I am sure they will still give you the contract.“
Paul: „How can you be so sure about it? We haven‘t even checked for grammar errors or other possible mistakes, or did you check in the mean time?“
Anthony: „Well, just a few here and there, but not really, no. But look Paul, this is already an interesting idea. Maybe not the best, the most individual, original or whatever they want to have nowadays, but it has something special, I just feel it.“
Paul: „Again, I just have to trust you, believe you, I must say. I just have this uneasy feeling of failure right now, even though we had such a good time and made a lot of progress.“
Anthony: „Alright. Don‘t worry Paul, I promise it will work out somehow and maybe, we find another way.“
Pages 55 – 57 of Lines, words, letters.
Well, this probably was a little too much for some of you. My bad…
An expression of how the world looks like if you feel lost and can’t see the good things (anymore).
While listening to some of the songs in this post I had weep a little because I felt the love within and around it. Also for some other things I listened to and watched today.
Yesterday I was walking a little at night with my mother to a place where you could look down / over the near town. We were talking about some good memories, about how amazing the view was and how long we haven’t seen it. The bright lights, the valley and hills. And it just felt good.
Love is good, God is love and even if you can’t believe in God, you probably don’t want to have more pain, more suffering and destruction in this world. Again, for me God is in everything in a way, God is many things and we are part of whatever God is in the end. But where is love, there is God, where good hearts beat is God. Where you expect God to be, may no God was ever seen. Whatever there is, why should be help to destroy what good there is for sure? Stay safe people, don’t forget to pray for one another and to love each other. We humans already killed enough of our own, hurt enough of our own, harmed ourselves way too many times. It is time for love and peace. But sadly I can’t give you that, if I could, I would. But I am just one like any other, only that I am open for new things and love. Maybe I am wrong, but who knows, right? You never know. I only know, should I actually become something like Martin Luther King, Malcom X, Martin Luther, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Jesus and all the others, I know what could happen, may would happen. But then, why should I fear to die, when I know that it doesn’t have to be the end. And that nothing is how it seems. Why should I fear death? If you are open for true love, there is no need to fear. With my problems I still struggle with, I know that they can change, when I trust in my love and the love I feel and see. Am I smart, am I stupid, am I crazy or just different? Probably all of it to some point, depending on who you ask. Truth has many forms. I am out for the core truth and my current answer is love. We will see. In the end I don’t know more than you. I might just have seen more or different. And who knows, maybe I don’t have to die at all. Perspectives change everything.
It depends on the perspective. So for some this might sounds hard, this might be the devils music, for me it is love which finds a way to communicate with everyone, God has his ways to reach everyone and then it is just us speaking to ourselves to tell us that we can actually be good. Why limiting ourselves to only evil and destruction, why can’t there be something positive in everything? Why can’t metal be good music? Well, for me there is no “good” music because all music has a right to be there only that some music might be intended to light up while other music brings you down. But in the end it depends on you how you hear and see. And remember, God can make something good out of everything and the devil is just a creation as well. So why can’t God us the devil to teach us a lesson to be good? Question mark. Music is music and, the internet is the internet and a radio is a radio and so on. It depends on what you do with it and how you see it, and so on.
And I hope I didn’t blast some ears or hurt some people… I tend to do that sometimes. But hey, at least some people are still here reading, listening. So it can’t be too weird, right? 😀