Lines, words, letters. [14]

Nothing meaningful, unless for you it is.


Chapter 5 – The second morning

Alair woke up from her injection she got before. Now it was dark outside, she was in a room with a little bed. She just fit in it, as if someone would have taken her measurements to build a perfect coffin for her. From the steal door some green blue neon light came in. In front of the small window or at least what looked like a window, a black metal plate blocked the view. Only from under the door some light came in. The window going outside, just showed a dark sky. No stars, no clouds, just black sky, if it even was the sky. She still was too tired to see clearly and they probably gave her enough to stay like this for a while. ‘Well, this is it‘, Alair thought, ‚no way out, just me and the walls.‘

Carer: „Ally, it is meal time.“

The man in front of her door opened a small hatch and pushed in a meal tray with some beans, two pieces of bread and well, half a glass of water. The rest of the water was soaking the bread because the push was a little too hard.

Alair just took the glass and drank the remaining water. It felt as if she had no water in days, but she can‘t even remember the day before. Just that she slowly realized where she was, until a man gave her an injection, in a pretty rude way. Strange that she can‘t remember more.

After some minutes, sitting on her bed, thinking about a lot, she decided to at least eat the bread.

A little bit hungry, but she wouldn‘t eat these beans. She wasn‘t even sure whether it actually was bean soup. Just a minute ago she thought, that there was something moving in there. Maybe just the meds they gave her. Then there it moved again. Alair jump up, it was a cockroach, there was a fucking cockroach in her soup. Now the tray with the soup was on the ground, what a mess.

Someone must have heard the noise. The metal plate in front of the small door window moved. A man with a strong locking face looked through it.

Carer: „Oh Ally, come on, not now. Today is my special day, I was just about to go earlier.“

The man were yelling a name she didn‘t understand. Then the lock in the door made a noise and the door opened slowly. Two men entered the room, both looking like warriors or bodyguards, despite the white shirt and trousers they were wearing.

Carer: „Time for another injection, I think.“

Ally: „No please, there was a cockroach in the soup, I just dropped it by accident.“

Carer: „Oh, it speaks. You know, you shouldn‘t be able to. Otherwise you would just make even more noise… Give her the dose.“

Ally: „NO, stop! Please!“

Ally tried to fight against the men with the injection, but then the other one just took both of her arms on the back, so she couldn‘t move properly. The other one hit the needle in and just a few seconds after, blackout again. Just like that. She had no right to explain, no right to be normal.

When she woke up again, the sun was shining in. But not as bright as she expected it.

Then she saw it, there was another building in front of the window, probably just a couple of meters away. Not even that, not even a view outside was granted to her, just some light, some food and a bed. ‘Worse than prison‘ she thought, ‚in prison I could at least get killed or kill myself…‘

The tray wasn‘t on the ground anymore, but they didn‘t really clean the mess either. There were still some beans on the ground and soup stains. And there she was, the cockroach, eating one of the beans. ‚Well, at least a little friend.‘

Today, what was today, which day? She didn‘t know anything. Not how she got there, not why, nothing. Just that it wasn‘t right in some way. It just felt wrong. These men, they did hurt her last night. She didn‘t even had a mirror, so she couldn‘t see herself, how she looked. Probably horrible, like a drug addict maybe or a totally broken woman. Alair still hoped, it could all just be a dream.

Then a song came in her mind. ‚They don‘t really care about us…‘ It sounded familiar, was it her favorite song? Probably not, but she didn‘t know much, so maybe. Does she even have a favorite song?

She tried to remember, was there more? What did she do to get here? Maybe she was crazy, but didn‘t realize it, well being crazy is hell then. Was she really like this? There another thought: ‚Follow your heart.‘ What does this even mean? As if my heart would walk somewhere.

‚You become what you believe.‘ Hm, maybe she was just crazy. If I believe to be free, there won‘t be much help in that. Where are these thoughts even coming from? Was it her, just random, her past?

Her thoughts went on and on and some hours past. But except for some song titles or at least she thought it might be some and these weird phrases, like ‚You are everything‘ and ‚the power is within you‘, nothing solid came up.

Doctor: „Alair, I am Doctor Makarow. I will make some tests today, to see how you are, is this okay?“

She didn‘t respond. Was this real or just in her head?

Doctor: „Ally? Can I come in now?“

Ally: „Eh… yes?“

Doctor: „Okay.“

The door lock made a noise again and the door opened a little bit faster than the last time, it seemed.

Maybe it was just her imagination because she wanted to see the doctor. He seemed so nice.

But the two men from last night entered the room first.

They stood next to her, one took her left arm and one her right one.

Carer: „She is a little stubborn doc, threw down her meal last night.“

Doctor: „I see. Well, you don‘t seem to be so stubborn today, are you?“

The doctor didn‘t seem so nice anymore, now with the two men and his grin on the face.

She didn‘t say a word. They were all against her, it seemed. No way out or is there?

Pages 39 – 43 of Lines, words, letters.


Played it three times in a row. Very relateable song from my side. Numb… this is how I felt for way too long. But luckily I don’t feel like this all the time now. It is painful in an environment which is out to kill you, but well, I have to fight with all I have, otherwise I will die anyways.

I don’t know how my own life will develop and whether I will meet Ally in her cell one day, but well, we wanted her to get out of it, so it might just be me, alone. But I also didn’t want that anymore. We will see.

I guess I just have to hold onto those I care about (including me for once).

“The world is big. Don’t forget that son.” – from Anne with an ‘E’

And music proofs it and you proof it because people from all over the world found this blog. Interesting times. I hope better times will come after this one.

Previously added to the “The Almanac” playlist, but again just for the vibes:

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