Lines, words, letters. [9]

Nothing meaningful, unless for you it is.


(Audio book version)

Ah right, you can‘t interact with a book… should have thought about this before I started asking questions. Well, of course I knew it, so I think you might agree with my choice – why not make all of it? Right? I mean, why shouldn‘t it be possible to make everything what is possible for her, actually possible? As simple as that. But she is already in a clinic, called crazy, filled up with some drugs to keep her quiet and easy to handle. Crap, how do we get her out of there?

There is no way, right? Or do you see people getting out of closed clinics every day? There is a reason why they are closed like prisons. People who go in, are meant to stay in, am I wrong?

Well, it doesn‘t matter what you think is right or wrong, but this is just how it seems to be.

Maybe I have an idea. This is a book after all and I am the story teller and the writer is writing what I think and what I should think about the girl, the young woman this story is all about, so far.

Maybe I can convince the author to just rewrite the story a little bit.

clears throat

Narrator: „Eh, sir, excuse me please, hey you there writing? … Yes you there, can we have a word?“, the narrator asked gently.

Author: „Ah word, what does this even mean? – Hello… there is your word, now piss off!“, rudely said by the author.

shocked stare and an open mouth

Narrator: „But sir, how could you? Please, just listen. Just a few words, I promise.“, the narrator responded with a scared voice.

Author: „Alright, what is it? Quick, I have to finish another page before the time is up.“

Narrator: „Eh okay. So the woman you are writing about…“

Author: „What is with her?“

Narrator: „Let me finish, please. She seems so broken and sad. I think the people would like to have some more hope for her, don‘t you think?“

Author: „What hope? I mean who is the writer here? Are you? No, so why should I listen to a voice I created?“

a tear rolls down

Narrator: „How can you be so mean? So selfish, such a heartless man? I thought you were the author, I thought you would want her to have a good ending? I must be a fool to try to even talk to you. How could I think, this would be a good idea. Sorry, for stealing your time, sir. Please continue whatever you are doing, but I want to quit my job, if this is okay for you.“

walks out of the narrator room

Author: „Is this even possible? Eh, narrator? Are you still there?“, the author asked, but no one answered.

The narrator was gone.

„Ah shit man, now I have to do all the work on my own. Stupid bastard, just leaving me alone with this narrator shit. I even paid him more than usual, what else did he want? Just a simple job… People these days…“

So, now I am the narrator because my actual narrator just left the office.

What is this? All these notes. „Is there a better ending?“ What was this narrator guy doing in here all the time? „I love this character already, she has her flaws and strange behavior, but in her heart she is a good soul.“ How could he think and write all of this, while he was just supposed to do his narrator job? Man, I better get rid of this, otherwise it just confuses my actual story.

Pages 24 – 26 of Lines, words, letters.


Comment:

While I know that it is not a very good story so far and maybe not at all in the end, it depends on the reader after all. So many I am just to hard to myself or it just is this way. I mean even well known authors have such kind of problems, as far as I heard.

So yeah, the story is a little messy now. But there are several layers in some way, as you might have noticed. (Questioning look)

And yeah, I just wrote that as part of me trying to get some thoughts sorted and also to rethink things. Actually helped me and maybe the book isn’t too bad so far. I don’t know. I mean it isn’t the worst you can read, but still I am not sure about it. Maybe later you will understand why it is a little messy. 😀

And yeah I still didn’t finish it, the ending is open, I have some notes, but I just couldn’t finish it. Not because of time, I have plenty of time right now, but because my thoughts were going somewhere else again and my mood, well it is everywhere. But what do you expect from a hard attempt to make some kind of self-therapy out of the need to not get crazy or die.

So far it was very strange, but I got in touch with a lot of cool and interesting people, I probably wouldn’t have ever met, for several reasons.

It pays off and it helps, the writing, the music and the people.

And once again: “Don’t forget to pray for one another.” And don’t forget to spread some love, also don’t forget yourself. Start with yourself and then go from there. Stay safe, stay love! 😀 💓

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