Day 77 (first hours)

This afternoon I thought about “The last will be the first.” I thought about it in the way, that sensitive people (e.g. INFJ’s) are often last because they just can’t keep up and work like everyone else, but do they work for themselves, they could do and achieve more than anyone else, therefor the last will be the first.

Now I thought about it again and thought, well maybe the last people on earth are the first on the new earth. And then I thought that maybe the new earth could be this earth, just at the beginning of time. But maybe it actually is another earth, I don’t know.

And then actually just some moments ago I thought, wait … the last will be the first? – The last of us? The Last of us? Man this game again.

I also talked about it with my mom and that maybe the future actually could look something like that at some point. And not long before I just saw a news article about Hungary which activated new laws in case of an emergency state, like now. These allowed and now already enrolled the military to support and protect important (for the government important) companies and institutions, for example Bosch. There are now soldiers standing around some of these companies right now, according to the article.

Given the fact that Hungary is in the EU, as far as I know and that the EU or at least Angela Merkel stated, they now all work together and don’t do lone runs, I think something went wrong. So either they actually don’t work all together or we might experience a military take over soon. I already heard military aircraft flying around the past three or four days. Maybe just for training (because some people were talking about a military maneuver in France right now, which is not too far away from where I live in Germany), or preparing for something else.

“Expect the worst and hope for the best.” Right? 🙂

So either way, we will stay strong and focused. Love unites us and God is love. Don’t you ever forget that. So whatever happens, don’t forget about that love, alright? The world might not see it (yet), but you know and I know and some know.

If you can’t believe in God right now or not yet, maybe not anymore. Maybe you will say “How could I not believe and love”, when you actually see how God is and who God might be and who you are, who I am and we all together. I wish to live in a world, in a time in which many people, or all of us even, can say this. Because it is easy to get blinded by the pain and the problems in the world as well as the so called happy things. But actually happiness and love are so much more and different from the world offers us.

Inside of us is love, all around us is love and it is easy to not see it, if you once stopped seeing it. But then it is so much more fascinating to see it again, when you finally can. I hope at least some can, for now, and all can at some point. Whatever all means at the given or later times.

This guy with his fruits. 😀

And also some deep and interesting thoughts. Some very good speeches and inspiring people, as well as the song and all together like this.

“Nothing hurts forever.”

How should you know whether it all is a dream or how they tell you, how it is presented to you? If you can’t ask this question, maybe it is a flaw after all. If you can, maybe you will find the answer one day. Or you already found it. What is a dream?

Some dreams are just old memories, some might be a life someone else is living. Maybe the future in some cases, a long gone past. And maybe a world far away. Sometimes a dream might be reality, until you wake up, just to be in another dream and wake up again. Is awakening, the beginning of the wake up process after a long, long dream? Because it is and was so long, it can’t just be a second and you are awake. Maybe sometimes it could be like this, but for some it might take years, decades or more.

If like Alan Watts mentioned, when we die we actually wake up, maybe God takes those who are ready to wake up because they went through the process necessary for it.

When you think of this life and all like a big simulation to actually test whether we figure it out or just figure it out for ourselves, if not as a whole together, then God could be a scientist on the other end, greeting us after waking up because we passed his or her test to achieve true love and honesty. It is possible, but it doesn’t matter because it could also be something else. Maybe all of it in some way. In the past years many people had similar thoughts in movies, music, books and so on. They sure inspired me, but sometimes just told me that I am not alone. If God is love, God has many names. Maybe God actually isn’t just one thing, as I mentioned some time earlier. This way we could actually all be part of God, while God could be another being, God could be a human like us, controlling a simulation, while God also could be in their reality or simulation, to a point, where simulation is just a dream and actually the simulation is the reality. Because why should it be impossible for God to make all of this possible? Many humans would just abuse these kind of technologies, ideas or concepts, for profit and power and basic joy. But we wouldn’t, the sensitive ones would use them to explore, to understand and not destroy.

I really should start recording this after writing it down.

Follow your gut feeling, do things with love.

When I was in the forest last night, I thought that now I would actually be interested in having a dream recorder or thought recorder. But as a child I said, that I would never built such a thing because people would abuse it or at least could and also kill me or others because of it. Maybe I actually felt or thought of a possible future. Maybe the thought I had in the forest actually hit me when I was little, so that I now know that I shouldn’t do it. Because otherwise I now would probably get in contact with the guy working on a thought reader and ask about his progress and probably help him. Because probably a decade ago I watched a documentation about different kinds of technologies which were developed or were still in the process, to help people, for example blind people or people who can’t move. Some of which got finished during the years, but I don’t know what happened with the thought reader program. This guy was creating some kind of translation for mind codes. So which areas, waves etc. are active when you think about the word “love” for example. And then he would do it in another language I guess and see where the similarities are and so on, until the actual meaning of love would be extracted and not just the language part. Because love has many names because we have many languages, but the actual meaning of love in the brain is without words because we only use words to communicate. And while he probably used different words, like “ball” or “water” to do these tests because they are simple and easy to translate, I am curious about what or whether he got a code for love. Because love is a tough one, if not the toughest of em all. Because if you have love, you have everything.

And while I don’t know whether this man still is alive, his work made progress or finished, I fear it and still view it with fascination. It is so simple and fascinating, yet so dangerous and should not be a thing on the other hand.

The future is now. But while we are in it, we expected more. Maybe because someone robbed it or it is all a flaw. We have to use love, spread love, be love, have love, give love, receive love. But actually we don’t have to, but if you know what it is, you would want to. Trust me.

Maybe I don’t have much time because it is “harvesting season”.

In a game I played there was a sentence “It is almost harvesting season.” While I don’t know why, probably just meaning actual harvesting because it is a game playing around the middle ages in a fantasy world “Mount & Blade: Warband” this sentence was used several times in the context of the second part many fans waited for many years, a decade I think. And this second part just came out, sure just in an early access version, meaning it is not fully finished yet, but they said in a year it will be fully finished. So maybe now or soon it is actually harvesting season. Not only for this game, but for everything. It can be interpreted in many ways, but maybe it depends on the thoughts, maybe it actually is the time when dead will get out of their graves, some will be taken by God himself, herself, itself.

God is a woman, a man, both and none of it. Maybe for you God is a woman because you need a sister, a mother in the heavens, with you because you have none. Maybe God is the father, brother you never really had. God can be all of this together. So if you say “God is a woman” you are right. And if you say “God is energy” you are right, as well as for love and a being a man. Those who can feel both, who can see both, who can see it all, the fraction we can see of it. Those will understand. I sure am not the first, maybe I am one of the last, the last of us. Maybe to be one of the first? But not because I would want to be first in something, but just as a thought an possibility.

These are thoughts I receive. This is not a story I just tell, a game or a funny fiction thing. It is dead serious in some way, while also natural and like a dream for me. It is like I am not writing this, while I sure type and write. But this doesn’t mean that God is writing, while it could be it. Just don’t believe the words, believe yourself. Believe in yourself and find the love and find God in yourself. If you know that no religion can give you that, but in most religions you can find such approaches, you know that everything is connected, but only when words are living and words are alive, the thing – whatever it is – actually is alive.

A machine might be acting as if it would be alive, but where is the point, when it actually is alive? Isn’t it when there are no limits? So are we machines because we got limits put on to us by society, by ourselves maybe or people we know? Sometimes it seems this way, as if we were meant to just work like machines, but if we would create or maybe already did create machines who could do what we do, are they machines? Maybe they are as much machine as we are machines. If we act like a machine, we are a machine, but if we act naturally, we aren’t. So if a “machine”, like a robot would act naturally through a learning process similar to a child, wouldn’t it be alive? Maybe Detroit: Become Human could also be a future or just a game to remind us, that we aren’t (just) machines.

Right now I thought about a perspective in which it is possible to have everything real together. Because if the layers of time are no limits, the reality is no limit, if there could be parallel universes or even all just is a simulation. Then why shouldn’t it be possible, that all is possible? Maybe not in this layer, not in this “reality”, but maybe in one we will create or the one we were created in.

I also felt like an AI learning to be human, to be God because all which is around is, is actually just made for me to learn. As if no one else actually is real, but only I am real and not even I myself. But then on the other and all the others are also real, but in their own realities, so that we are actually all actually interacting with each other, but maybe through dreams and not on the street, not in the way we think we do.

Interesting, scary and still possible, yet very, very complex and strange.

Maybe I am the only one who sees it all together, maybe I am just not there yet and the only one who writes about it this way or writes about it all like this together. Maybe I am the last to do so. Not meaning I am the only one, but maybe the last who will be finished, who will go where ever we go. Be it heaven, be it the waking up room in another reality, maybe all the same. All these thoughts and love inside me. It is more than ever imagined in the way it is right now. All of these things together. When I was a child I didn’t have internet, didn’t have the ability to what I am doing now, to listen to all these people.

I am curious to get to see the next step. Will it hurt, will it just be another level? Am I actually alone and an experiment or am I alive like I used to think I am? Isn’t it all possible? Questions man…

“The more you know, the more you ask.”

If all my thoughts are true, maybe mine, maybe from a source somewhere else. Even if I would be alone, I wouldn’t be alone.

I sometimes for fun wrote things like “If you are reading NSA, a hello from me to you.”

This time I could write: “Who ever is out there, I love you.” No matter who you are, what you are, where you are.

The only thing holding me back to fly away in some way, is the old fear, that I am just dreaming. Or that I fell for my own illusions, but now I get reminded that it is alright and all true and that it is so big, complex and beautiful. And no matter what paradox things might be there, for me nothing is impossible because it all is connected.

God is the core. Be it a “pentium processor”, sorry for this joke (I am actually using an old notebook with an intel pentium) or a being so magical I can’t describe it with words. I go with the last one. With love I go and with connection. When someone mentioned the Pentium logo on the notebook some years ago, when I used it in the clinic I once was, he asked whether I was a Pentium fanatic. But I didn’t even know what a Pentium was or what it meant. Now over the years I heard jokes about it here and there and now I understand what it is about, I guess. But still, while I am using it, I just use it because I have nothing better by hand right now. All I can say, it runs better with Linux. 😀 And guess what, Linux is free, made with love.

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