Day 76 (late evening)

I have two more tracks for the “Victor Negocik” album.

“Victor Negocik: second thought”

Thoughts: While the first track “Victor Negocik: trapped in time” was about being trapped in a loop, for example a good dream or a thought and also somehow stuck, “… second thought” is about the feeling you have after you think twice about something. So for example you are happy about a thing and have a positive thought, but then you think “Maybe this is wrong.” While listening to the only forward version of this track I had a negative mood. So I decided to also make it like the first track. First make a version which is okay and then copy it, reverse it and merge both of them.

So on the “second thought” I got this one. And then I actually felt good about the second thought. So now I had a bad second thought and a good second thought. So when there is a negative thought like “You can’t do this” there comes a second thought “But why? I actually can do what I want!” and then it lifts me up. Maybe the example thoughts aren’t the best, but I hope you get what it is about.

“Victor Negocik: dream of dreams”

This track (the third in the album) has the ending “dream of dreams” and it could also be named like “dream in a dream” or “dreams in a dream”. Because it represents the feeling of dreaming while being awake. Like it feels often these times, either in a good or in a bad way. For some it feels like christmas, for some it feels like a good time, while others have a nightmare come true and are sad and feel horrible. But it is also representing a state of lucid dreaming in some way. As if the dreams I have at night are just dreams in the dream of life. And then I also have dreams in some dreams, like I described some in this blog. So it is in general about dreaming of dreams. But when I created it and named it, I didn’t think about all this.

Like the other two tracks it also was first created one way and then merged with the reversed version of it to create the final version.

So I still don’t know why the album is named “Victor Negocik” because it is just a name right now. Who knows. For now I will probably stay with these three tracks. But I actually thought about a fourth one being a mixed version of the three other ones in some way, if I should figure out how to do it the way I thought of it. Otherwise maybe for another album or some time later, when I know how I would want it.

Victor Negocik, should someone be out there named like this or maybe similar, my greeting to you. These three tracks really where powerful again.

Today I thought about the story with the soldier and the crown again. I had to cry again several times, while I was actually listening to a preacher doing the Good Friday service on YouTube, while sitting with my parents.

I didn’t cry / weep outside, just some tears dropped down, but inside. And while when I told my mother about it, she thought about the man who got up and left, I thought about the soldier who just got rid of his clothes to die for this crown, for this place in heaven. Without a doubt.

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