Day 75 (early afternoon)

God has humor and if you see it, you know it.

My mother told me a story about a woman who had a problem with her car. Something didn’t work and she was somewhere alone on a street. Then she prayed and asked God to send her an angel. Believing an angel would fly down to her or whatever she thought, she waited.

Then a motorcycle came towards her. A man with a leather jacket greeted her and asked whether she needs help. He got her car running again and she thanked him. When he turned around and walked towards his bike, there was “Hell’s angels” written on the back of his jacket.

The woman was a little confused, so he said something about that surface and how things look are not always what they are. I can’t remember the actual sentence, maybe I will add it later. And then he drove away on his motorcycle. God had send an angel, but not what the woman thought he would sent. If you can’t laugh about this story, maybe you need to experience such humor for yourself because God helped her and fulfilled her wish, but there was no need for an actual angel to come to help her. God already had someone else sent out to her.

I have a different story my mother told me a several times over the years. It is a very sad and yet powerful story. And while I was never able to feel the power, now I feel it. And each time I think of this story, I get tears in my eyes. Just yesterday she told it again and this morning I thought about it and got tears and now that I want to write I got tears.

In Soviet Russia Stalin was killing Christians for their believe. This story is about some people who got sentenced to freeze. They got told to take off all their clothes and lay down into snow and ice outside in winter. Soldiers where standing next to them. Then they got told, if they let go of their believe in God, they can get up, take their clothes and leave. All stayed naked on the ground, but then one couldn’t stand it anymore. He got up and did what they offered him. But then one soldier (or maybe all) saw a crown going up on the place where this man was laying before. This soldier didn’t stop to think much, he wanted this crown, now knowing that it was worth to die for what these people believed in. He got out of all his clothes and was laying down instead of the other man and then died with the other people on the ice and snow. He sure got the crown, he just believed in the second he saw it was true. He didn’t need long explanation, no prayers no bible. He got out of his clothes and froze to death for what he could believe in this second.

I don’t know what the other soldiers thought, said or did. But this one knew who God was, without words. Just this floating crown where the other man was before, was enough to make him die for it.

I hope you don’t have to die for your believes, but if you truly believe, you are ready to die for it.

I cried a little while writing this because this story was like a movie in front of my inner eye. As if I was there with them.

Like the man on the one of the crosses next to Jesus. He didn’t think that he would be able to go where Jesus would go, just wished Jesus to think of him where he would go. But Jesus said to him, that he will be with him in heaven. There was no time to do much, but it was enough. Just the decision to believe, to love is enough. Maybe there is an act like the soldier who froze to death, maybe you still have time and live a long life with and for God, but all it takes is this one moment. God sees the heart, the soul. God needs no words, no special ceremony or tradition. God needs you, me and all of us, truly believing, loving him, loving all the people, like he loves all of us. It is not about gender, about anything on the surface. God may be no man nor woman. Our souls are energy and have no gender, at least for me gender doesn’t matter.

If for you it does matter, maybe you are on a different path. Maybe you know something I don’t know or you are just not there yet. Yet on the path to reach the step which reveals it all to you.

Everyone has a story, everyone has a purpose. Some people wait for it, some people maybe think it will never come and do what others tell them only to realize in the end, that they should have done something else. But God always sees the heart. So if one on the death bed apologizes in silence, God knows. God gave us all talents and opportunities to use them. Often others think we shouldn’t use them or even that we don’t have them and we should do something else. For example “Women stay at home in the kitchen.” I ask, why? Sometimes they are much better in a place where men think, just they can do it. Then one woman comes in and it all gets washed away because of new ideas. And then some men might be better in the kitchen because they love to cook, can clean things very fast and good and are happy with staying at home. Wouldn’t it be a shame if both would have to do what they hate, just because others think this is how it has to be and “always” was? I also don’t stop for LGBTQ+ because these people do great things and care for others. Many people just feel different, are different. Not just man or woman, but feel in between, feel like the opposite and so on. They got bullied and depending on where they are still get or even worse. Sometimes even get killed for their difference, but God loves everyone, so I love everyone. If you have a problem with it, maybe you should ask God about it. God is love and love is connection and so much more. This doesn’t mean God loves it that for example a killer kills someone. Why should God love such a thing? But God still loves the killer after all. So one day the killer might realize that it was wrong and finds God, seeks for forgiveness. But if you close the door for this killer, are you better than God? We sure have our emotions and sometimes they get the best of us and do things we regret later. It is hard to forgive the person who did such a thing, but how should it get better if you let killing as the only option? If you don’t love the sinner, how should the sinner be able to love God? Aren’t we all sinners without God and Jesus sacrifice for us?

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