Day 74 (afternoon)

If you can’t see the beauty in all of this, maybe you need to give more love first. 🙂 Or you need to be open for it.

If you change to a perspective which just views souls, then there is no difference between a child and an elderly person. There is no difference between you and me. Nothing but, time, the places we are and all those visual things and physical things. But as I said, from a perspective which just sees souls, there is no difference.

When you only want to see evil, there is a lot to see. If you want to see good, there is a lot to see. If you want to see everything, you will see everything. But maybe everything is not possible at once. So in my case it took me some time and still is not over yet. But because time is an illusion, I already got everything. The problem is, that you need an illusion of time to experience everything because it can’t be experienced all at once. It would be impossible for our brain to process, too much to handle. So the illusion of time helps to understand. But actually you already got it all.

And sometimes you have to see evil first, to see good. But not because you wanted it this way, it just was meant to be this way for you.

With 2-3 years I knew what I wanted. I was interested in music, I wanted to be like one of my grand fathers and I even started with poetry before I even knew what it really was. I lost it all, or “forgot” about it because this is how it was meant for me to see everything. I had all the good things, but to help those who can’t see those things, I had to see the bad things, to feel them, to feel nothing, to see death as the only option. But not because it was fun, not because it was good for me, but because God knew I wouldn’t die. It was meant for me to see and learn. I was good when I came on this world, but I got bad because of this world. We all can get bad, but we can also get good again. Children can become bad, but if you think all children are evil and dumb because they are like this when they come to live, maybe you don’t understand it yet.

While I still understand and know everything yet, it is less about having facts and doing everything right for the sake of it or for having a good image. If you know that love is connection and you open up for it, and give love, love will find you, God will be with you. Talking about true love and not what people often think love means, as if you could find love through thinking it out. Love finds you if you are open for it, you can’t find it. And if you start giving love or not letting go of this love, it opens doors and makes dreams reality. Perspective changes the possibilities. While as a little child I knew everything is possible, I got told it isn’t, so I lost my true and open love more and more, through all these false believes and so called facts.

If everything a professional person says is a fact, than in the end they often say the exact opposite at one point. So what are facts? Are they truths, are they given, are they real? I am not talking about alternative facts or fake facts. It is about, what is a fact in the meaning? For me facts are now more like current descriptions of how someone sees something right now. Sometimes based on numbers they got and from the current perspective believe to be correct, so then they call it fact and it is a fact, if they didn’t manipulate the numbers for whatever reason.

Still this doesn’t mean that the fact is a final knowledge, the overall truth. It is a current understanding based on different aspects. Maybe in ten years the facts are different because the technology is different, so that the numbers will change. This doesn’t mean that it is always wrong to look at the facts, but also it might not be always right to just look at them. Because often the facts miss information because we don’t even know what other things might be involved in the process. So we simply miss them because we don’t know yet. Are the facts wrong then? No, if they are true and not changed by hand, just as they are, they are true. But maybe not complete.

Sometimes it might be the case that they are actually true, but only at the time. Like when it is winter, it can’t be summer. But now sometimes it snows in spring and the sun shines in summer. Still the times in the year are called the same and stay the same. It isn’t wrong to call winter time, winter time, but now winter isn’t what it was hundred years ago or thousand years ago. It usually is a cold time in the year with special days and so on, but it changes. Now winter is like the winter before.

If you say a winter has to be this cold and look like this, maybe one year it is like this, then the next it is completely different. Would you call your grandparents liars because (if they still live or maybe when they were) told you that when they were young they had several meters snow in winter and even could go sledding down the town streets and eat the snow. I hope not, but just in these handful of decades things changed so drastically. Maybe the facts from yesterday are the laughter from tomorrow.

There is always a truth within everything.

If parents tell their children that what they listen to or do is wrong, but don’t try to understand it, maybe even are doing things like that themselves, what does it help? Maybe the children are this way because the parents were and are this way. So if you force someone to be like you maybe you should be like them or maybe both of you should be different, united through love and not hate.

Maybe if there would be love in the family, the children would do otherwise, but because the parents think they have to be how they think is good for them, the children know it isn’t but also don’t know what is sometimes. So in the end they both are doing wrong, not always, but sometimes, while if nothing would have been, all would have been good.

This is not always like this, but way too often, from my perspective. But I also see good parents and people who know and see. They do good because they want good to be a thing. They don’t judge people and if so, they still learn new things, so that they can overcome this judgement. Because we can judge others as much as we want, maybe be are the ones who should be judged. And we can judge ourselves as much as we want, maybe the others should be judged as well. In the end no one should judge anyone because we don’t know what they feel and think. We can feel it, some can, we can think it, some can. But not everyone is this naturally open. So if you don’t know, don’t act as if you know. But if you don’t really know and still have the gut feeling to say something. Do it with love because through love you see. If you scream with anger, anger will come your way. Or do you expect love to come from punishment? If so, we probably have to consider hell as heaven. But hell isn’t heaven and heaven not hell. Punishment in anger or force is not love and care, it is bad. Just the word punishment sounds bad in my ears, while actual “good” punishment could be a good thing. No evil involved, no pain. For example, if the one who killed another, realizes what they did, the punishment is already coming over them because they would want to be dead themselves. Another one might never feel this way, just kills for the killing. No earthly punishment will make it better, only worse. Some call it justice to kill a murderer. Some call it justice to kill for the killing. Are you God or just a murderer? If God says it is right, then it is. But if you just think it is right because it once was, maybe you don’t know the facts, maybe you are still following facts which once were, but now they changed.

Wasn’t it that Jesus said something like: “The one who is without sin throws the first stone?” No one threw a stone. While what the woman did was still not good looking on the old rules, but Jesus didn’t punish her with death because he would die for her later. He knew, what the others didn’t know yet. And still to this day we have people who want death for death.

If horrible things happen, I don’t call them good. But we don’t have to make them even more horrible, am I right?

And I know it is easy to say this because I wasn’t in such a situation. So how should I know, right? I don’t, I can’t because I wasn’t there yet and maybe never. But if so and I guess this day could come one day, I still shouldn’t act like everyone else. Maybe the one they caught wasn’t the one who did it, then an innocent would die for the sin of someone else. Like Jesus for us. And then you or I would be the one screaming “Put him on the cross” or today maybe “Put him on the chair” (electrical chair) or what else is there to kill.

Could you forgive yourself, if you would later get told that the actual murderer was still out there, while an innocent got executed because of mistakes and forcing it?

So even if the one who is guilty of it, is the one they caught, or maybe no one was caught and maybe never will. What does it help to kill another one, if Jesus died for all of us? Wouldn’t it be more natural to help the one who did the crime to realize and get away from it, to see God and all this beauty, to see the punishment inside of them, which is bigger and more painful than anything you can do or should?

And it is especially hard if the one who did it sees no guilt for themselves, they might laugh about you, feel funny and would do it again, if they could. Still, would it be good to kill them for the sake of killing or so called justice?

I am not here to say what is wrong or right, I am not God, not Jesus or such.

But deep inside we all know what is right or wrong. Didn’t we all eat from the fruit in the garden? Aren’t we all guilty in the end? One because they wanted the sin and one because they got force into the sin. If you want someone to not sin with all force, they will sin because of this.

“If you think you are without sin, you maybe commit the biggest of them all.”

If you understand that it is about love and not about punishment in the way we use to punish. You know how it works. And if you feel like I am talking garbage, maybe I am talking garbage, when it comes to what most people say.

But I know, that I alone will never be without sin or the ability to sin. When I trust in God and don’t let me drag down by it, I know that it is good as it is. If you are open for it, you might naturally step away from bad things because you just know they are bad for you and you don’t want them (anymore). But if you force yourself to step away, maybe it works, maybe it doesn’t work. If you do it with God’s help and you really want it, it will work. But we alone can’t do it.

Now you might think, but I can do things on my own. I also thought this way and it is right. We can do things on our own. And not all we do will fail, but usually the things we just want to do alone, will fail or turn out to be bad in the end. And especially if you think you do it in God’s name, but not really with him, like punishing your children with a staff for small mistakes because you think it is right and God wants it, while Jesus is crying somewhere. Do you think it is right or is it really the right thing to do? If you are one with God, you know how things are or at least have a feeling for it. If you just think that words written down one time, maybe mistranslated and changed several times are all God is, you may have never seen or heard of God so far. God is not the bible, the bible is not God. God’s word is in the bible, the word is alive and all around us. All the time, everywhere. It isn’t a word, like letters, it is love. Love is a word, but only because we gave it a name, a word. But love can only be felt, to really know what it is. Love is everything, while everything is more than love and still all is love, energy. And while there is love, there also is hate, but while hate might be involved with love, it isn’t true love.

If God is the core of it all, we might be the neutrons, while electrons are also a thing. If love is a proton, if God is the core of an atom call everything, we are neutrons, we could be protons, neutrons, both even. And there are more particles out there. We didn’t find them all. If you think we have found most of them, we might just discovered the dot on the surface. But under the surface is a net of strings. One of them ends in the dot on top of it. And we see the dot and think this is all what is because we aren’t able to see beyond the surface. Some are, some did, but most of us think, there is just this surface.

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