Day 71 (till early afternoon)


In my head I have all humans united – now – fighting against the evil, trying to repair the broken. While some still are broken themselves, together they can help each other out. I am not the one to say “I have a dream” or the one to say “Imagine all the people” or “People help the people”. I am here to get it all together and show that it is possible to live the dream(s).

For the image in my head, the common enemy now are zombies and other infected creatures. Because sure some parts of me are really damaged, but at least now all parts who can are working on a solution and aren’t fighting each other as well, like all these years. I still sometimes have negative thoughts and also aggressive thoughts, but now I can finally say, that this is just the still not repaired damage. It isn’t what and who I truly am, just still a part of me. But now I can go towards it with love as well as intelligence and work on a solution. Now that the enemy isn’t my mind as a whole or something else.

roll credits…

The INFJ Revisited is almost a 1:1 thing compared to this whole Almanac thing, just it is way more compressed. So should anyone ask for a summary of Stargate and The Almanac, just hand them over the INFJ Revisited video, I guess. 😀

Well this one already was played before, but maybe this moment is very good for getting something which already was.

And I can say, that what Tom probably experienced in the past years was a faster experience for me and just the past year. Interestingly it began before I realized a negative change, which actually was the start for the positive change. Because in April last year, we bought our current cat, Xenia (the foreign, the welcoming) or I just put this in here:

(Greek: ξενία, xenía)is the Greek concept of hospitality, or generosity and courtesy shown to those who are far from home. It is often translated as “guest-friendship” (or “ritualized friendship”)

The weird thing is, we named her this way because her original name, called by either the people caring for her or the previous owners (we got her from a newspaper ad my aunt read from a woman who takes care of cats who have no owner anymore or had a bad one – animal protection program).

The cat previously was called Diva and had a negative taste because it meant she would only want certain things and also possibly bite you or other things. So not the typical friendly cat you would normally want.

But since we already had one cat like this, actually a male one. A white cat with blue eyes. We knew she was right for us. The white cat sadly got killed by a car, just one year after it choose us as its new owners. He also had a bad name previously, Adi or Adolf. Probably because of his behavior and look, pointing towards Adolf Hitler. While at first we just called him Adi, because it he listened to it, we decided to rename him after a short time.

We came up with a double name but primary russian as well, like our current cats name is also russian inspired.

We called him Cнежок, which is pronounced something like “shnejok” which means snowball. But because since my first language actually is german, I mispronounced it, so it became “shneysok” and in german it was like “Schneesock”. Like a male version of “Schneesocke”, which doesn’t exist. And so he had a russian name meaning snowball and a german name meaning snowsock. Well actually a german-english name. And I think he listened to both names because they also felt similar in several ways. A snow ball and sock. And this made him a very nice cat after some time and also the space and care he received.

Our current cat, Xusha as we call her, a nickname for Xenia, also developed like this and even farther. While Cнежок was still biting us sometimes (especially my mom, until it bleed), he also could be very kind and nice. Xenia or Grand Duchess Xenia (in russian: Ксения) also did bite at first and used her claws often (and they were really long), she started to get kinder and actually friendly after some mounts. She probably had many traumatic memories and associations with humans in the past (we still don’t know what happened before the animal care program). But one year later she is one of the coolest and nicest cats I have ever seen. She doesn’t do shit with our things (doesn’t throw things down etc.), she waits for us to come or even tries to speak our language sometimes (some words). She really fits into our collection of “royal” cats. Not because she is in some way royal because of genes or something, no, for their characters.

My / our first cat was called Maximillian and but usually we would just say Max or Maxi (‘i’ pronoced as an english ‘e’). He could understand many things we told him, he even let a mouse live when he saw how little and scared it was. He even played with the rabbit we also had. He also tried to speak and said “Ja” and “Nein” with a cat accent, of course. You could say, how should this be possible, but for me we were connected telepathic or something like that. He was also killed by a car when he was just 4 years old. Then we long had no cat because of other things (family problems etc.).

And then came the white cat. There were also other cats with interesting characters, but they weren’t ours, we just cared for them sometimes.

One of them was Friedolin or Fridolin (we never wrote it down I think), meaning “peace ruler”. He actually was Friedolin II, after his father. He actually was a peace ruler, a more or less wild living cat, but caring for his children and wife. Better than some humans do. The son also lived like that, while an old woman across the street cared for all these cats. You could compare her with the cat lady, but she never let them into her house, just fed them. A nice old lady, but then she couldn’t live alone anymore and had to go somewhere else and now she doesn’t live anymore (if I don’t mix things up here). So after she went into a institution for old people, most cats were catched and through animal protection / care program moved to new owners. But Friedolin II stayed with us or actually my dad because, as I said, family problems.

When the white cat appeared he Friedolin II was still there, but an old cat, I think around 14 years old. And while they had problems with each other Friedolin had to be euthanized because he had a very big tumor or some cancer. He was just a peaceful and very depressed cat after his friend Max died. At first they were rivals, but then they got friends. He always looked with deeply depressed eyes after he realized that Max wouldn’t come back.

Sad cat and sad story / stories.

But with Xenia we got ourselves a cat which does what the name says. While before it was more the opposite. Interesting turn. Now she often moves around our legs, very often expresses her joy with us, sleeps in our beds and also cared for other cats.

The foreign, (which became) the generous welcoming => Xenia.

I hope I didn’t forget to mention or finish something. But I just thought it was a good point to write about it.

Xenia really was a therapy cat, while at first we had to therapy her, she also became a therapy for us in some way. Especially for me. Just the first day when we brought her home, she had a deep connection with me and wanted to be in my room, not alone.

And now with all what happened, I named her and she named me or called me (not really, but in a spiritual way). It is as if we understand each other without words (telepathy in some way). I sometimes mimic her and then she mimics me. It is a very special connection. She realized it at first, I guess. But she didn’t know how far it would go. And now look at me. I am doing all these things I wouldn’t have done one year ago.

When she came in my life and I in hers (still talking about my cat), our both lives changed in this past year. To a point we both probably didn’t through of before it happened.

And out of the ashes we rise. Out of pain comes love as a savior.

Also one of the best tracks I have ever heard. Compared to One Million Voices for example. I just thought about it the past days, but couldn’t remember the name nor artist. Man it was Hans Zimmer. I just read his name this week again in the credits of Lion King. Actually way better and interesting now. It so much to give given my current state.

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