Day 57 (late morning)

Mass surveillance, corona, addiction and the big plan.
What does all of these things have in common?

First of all, to make all readers uncomfortable and as well as myself, today I watched porn again, also yesterday, so this is for the record. I am still way too much addicted. The problem is that I didn’t went to the forest since Monday or Tuesday I think and my mental state had a lot of pressure in the meantime, I suppose. So as a result it started the cycle again. It felt werid again, especially today and I still don’t need or want it. When I will go into the forest again, I guess it will stop again. So I actually have to go there tonight. At least there is noone else forcing me to do anything or judging about it, so far. This can change of course.

Now to the other topics. Yesterday our government, were talking about controlling mobile phones, or at least tracking them to see who is actually home and who is not. Also they wanted to take away more power from the individual states of which Germany has 16. If you followed my previous thoughts, you probably noticed a similarity in my ideas about a possible future and current developments. This doesn’t mean that everything has to turn out in a dystopic future, but it is possible. But it will probably be mild at first.

So the corona virus actually will bring a lot of change and sadly this change can be very negative for us, if only the governments are the game changers in this crisis. Luckily they aren’t the only ones, but still it is problematic.

If I would go full conspiracy theory or “The Antichrist is coming”, then of course, I must say, that this indeed is the time, where we will lose everything and first it will look good, because it seems we get help, but instead it was all a big plan by secret groups and so on. You know what I mean, right? And because I am open in any way, if it is not harming. This could be possible. I personally believe that something like this could be the case, I just view it from a more rational perspective, which includes thinking everything through, as far as possible from my side.

In my eyes, it is possible, but probably not like most people who are into this would think. So for example I often heard from people, that they heard the vacines are infected, or that there is a chip in them, or that judgement day is coming and so on. But from my perspective this just makes no sense, at least not in the current situation. While it still could be possble, it is not likely to be true. As I mentioned in the past days, when you can convince people to get things down because of the situation, there is no need to force them to get or do anything. But if it should be a big plan, then of course at some point it would just flip the banner because everything would already be in place.

(Small reference to Hitler’s take over plan. He also didn’t get his power just in one year, he worked it out over a decade or so until he reached the point, in which he could do anything he wanted.)

And in some way we are all addicted to something, sometimes more sometimes less. Some take pills, some do drugs in general, some hurt others, some themselves, some are working more than they should, others fall flat on the street. This is the perfect time, to give people hope, this is the perfect time, to tell them what they want to hear. To take control and to be a saviour, while you are not. I am not a saviour, just a single soul out there, with my own problems, my broken mind, but I try my best and I am here thinking, writing and making music. I knew it wasn’t me because I alone wouldn’t have got here. And now I know, why I felt, that time was running out because it is. But I am still open for a change for the better, but even if it should really get better, feel it, does it feel good or strange? Trust the feeling, if it should be solid.

In other words, should everything should go the way, I expect it to happen, we have a problem in a few years. Don’t get lost in conspiracies, think it through yourself, think about what is really possible for you, what is likely to be the case and what it means for you and us in general.

If someone comes over and says: “I have the info, it is save, it is secret…”, listen to them, but only if there is no other way. Don’t get lost in it and think it through yourself. You can get paranoid, but it doesn’t help you. Some conspiracy theories (like NSA spying us all), were true in the end, while others (flat earth), are just nonesense. So listen, when it is interesting, listen when the other one wants to know the actual truth themselves, but don’t fall for people who just want to be famous for telling lies or maybe fell for them themselves.

I don’t say, that things are like this or like that in a solid way, I have not much evidence and also no sources nor the intention to prove anything or convince anyone. Why should I? I just want to share my thoughts and what I processed and recieved from others. I have a good ending, a bad ending and the good old “Why did I watch/read/do this whole thing?” ending.

For me they are all possible, but the bad ending is more likely in the context of history. Let’s just see how it goes and don’t lose hope or love. Now it is even more important than before the crisis, while for me it should have been always the top priority, but people are people, you know it…

I again feel like the main character in the 2017 Blade Runner movie.

I think that I am the special one, while I am just like everyone else, except for the memory I got. We will see.

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