Day 54 (first hour)

This projected on my mind also has a great connection, while it actully is more a song about a broken love in a relationship. But for me this speaks for my soul and mind relation in some way. (The song and the description.)

When yet again what I thought turns out to be true. Even in this specific way with misdiagnosis and stuff. But for me, I would say that when you can be misdiagnosed, then the system is not working, especially when it could end or ruin your or other lives completely. This would be like “You need a heart transplantation” but you be like “but my lung is hurting” thinking inside.

I thought that I might have autism as well for many years now because it is in the family, but then I thought, well it might be something else and I felt as if I had nothing special, just wrong thoughts and problems.

So I went from autism, to just a problem, to schizophrenia, to bipolar, to BPD and back to autism again, after many years of struggle. So I actully diagnosed myself in the way a psychotherapist would have done it.
What … the … hell. Man I think I broke the system. xD

It is all a flaw, when even I can do it without even knowing that this was how it worked. Genius striked again.

And now the manipulator kicks in again, trying to convince me again, that it can’t be right because even if it should be right, I would still be a problem or at least cause problems which shouldn’t be. Therefor cause problems, which makes me a problem. But I am not because when I am healed and truly me, I am not a problem, I am a problem solver.

AO –> OA

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