Day 40 (early morning)

Well, most of what I am writing only makes sense or is probably better with the related music and talks because I am listening to them while I am writing. But I know that you don’t have time. This is why you should take your time with it. I mean it won’t run away. And if you should just read a page a day, it would be enough. You don’t have to read it all to be read. But as you wish.

I mean, you don’t have to read it at all, so at least you are interested in my mind 😀 (Sorry if this might have seemed angry or something like that. It is not. It is just an explanation of how it should be read – like a strange book guide.)

In general a very intense experience, while on one hand I have a deep depression ongoing, I have a deep connection with everything around me on the other hand. And my goal is to get both sides balanced. And writing about it without someone reading it directly is actually easier for me. Because if I know someone answers I might not write what I actually wanted to write.

In general, communication is still a major problem, what no one would notice because I write all day. Strange but true. And the thing about all philosophic concepts is, that I am interested in all of them, but I am creating my own. So I am actually mixing some together, add my own thoughts and try to make sense of it over time.

While in general this all is very strange.
I find everything I need, when I need it. And if not, I don’t need it.
So there is no need to tell me what I might need.
It is probably better to not talk about this at all, what is strange because then for what is it all? – Well, for myself to process, progress or just have a diary.

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