My negative thoughts are getting more heavy the last days, at least I had a smile after a very dark night. I just slept the whole day and when I was not sleeping I was just lying in my bed, thinking…
I might have fucked up completely from an outer perspective, but despite the negativity, which wants to break me again, I finally found my life and I know it is my way. I won’t stop now, I just hope I will survive until it actually gets better because when I do what I love and will get better. Before I wasn’t doing what I love, so I just felt it won’t get better and it never really did, only some moments in time, you know?
These moments, when everything is just far away, maybe while listening to some good music or watching a series or something.
But then it always stops and the present hits you like a rhino.
I stopped it after 20 minutes (to continue later) and found the following.
After the three I will continue with the previous one.