Day 17 (until dawn)

I watched it and yep, this series has great potential and I am really looking into the second season. It feels pretty personal. And hits the spots which hurt. I have to face it, I am made for big, but I fear it. And most of all I fear, that I will be wronged again. I have too many things to change the world, but I just never really tried. Why? I feared to be wrong and I will be wronged. Because otherwise it wouldn’t be important to try a change, right?

If really everything would be okay and possible, than why are we still having so many issues? Why is it so hard to say things, which are right, for example the thing about school? We already have alternatives which work and could work, but no, I don’t see much change. At least not from what I heard and seen and experienced myself. Where is the good future? I just see the dystopic future, we don’t want, but will get.

Most of the time held myself back from doing bad things on one side, while I did real bad things or just disgusting things on the otherside.
Because the pain found a way to do things. I would have been better, if I would have just tried to hack everything, no matter what consequences.
This way I would have built up, what I still don’t really have.

I never wanted bad things and hacking isn’t bad, only if you want to do something evil. In fact many hackers hack companies or even critical things, like electricity and traffic lights etc. Not because they want to harm, but to see how unsecure it really is and some even want to help people to make it more secure. But on the bottom line, no technology is perfect, it never will. It can reach a high percentage of success and positive results, but never perfect. Why? Because we humans tend to create things because of money, power and other stupid things. If you create something because of love, it would be so much better. Anyone could program if they would just look into it. But no one does because they think it is too complicated and it can be, sure.

But programming can be so easy these days and hacking always was easier than we all think. Not because it doesn’t always require much knowledge, but because some of the ways to get access to restricted systems are so obvious that people don’t consider them at all. And others are just because of all people not knowing what they are doing. We all have technology, most of us don’t know much about.

This is like having some kind of mushroom in your living room or in your car. It is there, you don’t know much about it and you can’t really do anything about it. It is just there and lives. Maybe it explodes one day, maybe it is actually polluting the air around you and you are already entoxinated by it without your knowledge, but well, you don’t know it, so the mushroom stays. But for a plant expert or especially a mushroom expert it is pretty strange how all the people just have these mushrooms everywhere, when they are actually dangerous and whatsoever.
And people still have them, no matter what. “It is normal.”, “I have nothing to hide”, “I don’t go on strange websites”.

I often had ads about vaccines and such things and also this TED talk about vaccines and how we all should take them. Maybe… I understand the point, but I don’t have enough trust in the system. In fact I have no trust at all because it is outdated and corrupted, no matter what they will tell you.
Not all people are corrupted, maybe only a few, but a few are enough to get everything the way companies or other people want. And the system alone is enough to be worried about, even without conspiracies. A fragile outdated system…

And if all people would care more about our technological “health” and actually know about how it works, we would have less problems too.
Whole companies lost a lot money and time because of ransome ware and such things because they use Windows and think, well I have Anti-Virus (etc.), I am save… bullshit. It is funny how easy companies get hacked, no it isn’t funny, it is scarry and makes me cry about all this stupidity.
Also the cars, how easy it is too fake a car suicide because you could remote control a car and kill someone. From the outside it would look like a suicide or maybe an accident, but the person inside had no control over the car.
This is no science fiction or scarry talk, this is fact and pretty old by now in the age of internet. So it is probably still possible and maybe even easier these days because modern cars all have these little computers which can be easily hacked.

They maybe got upgraded, but most companies either don’t know much about the problems or just wink it of or maybe even want it this way (for whatever reason). But in most cases they are probably just too stupid, when it comes to technology, yes even engineers… Not because they are stupid, they are hopefully pretty intelligent, but because they think in their own way and not how some else could think. “Who would do such a thing?” – they might say. And well, then we got a basic hacker who just tries some things, and for a couple of bucks we get a remote control for our car. Isn’t this scary? But no one seems to notice.

We all get blinded and fooled to believe that everything is alright and under control, while in fact theoretically anyone could just hack a car, hack a computer system of a company, maybe even a nuclear plant? I bet, they are way outdated and the biggest problem would be to get the old code running, if you understand what I mean. So we live in a world, where we don’t need nuclear weapons because we could just kill a bunch of people via some code. Maybe even without leaving a trace.

I could even imagine it happening right now. But I hope I am wrong.
I mean something always happens, but I just hope there isn’t someone with a plan like in the book Blackout. A group of nature rebellions or something like that. They infiltrated computer companies or hired people from there and got access to nuclear plants and other things like water and so on. Everything which is necessary to run a country, to run the world and then they just let it all go down. I mean it was in detail a little bit more interesting and realistic because the author actually asked people in these areas with knowledge. And well he sure didn’t tell everything, I bet.

Our world is in a second cold war, but without most of us involved because our technology is enough. Your phone could be used to hack your company.
Your car could be tracked by criminal. Your bank accounts might be open for hackers without your knowledge. Only because no one says a thing, doesn’t mean it isn’t possible or happening. We all just listen when there is something on the news and hope we aren’t involved in some way. But sadly we are probably all in it anyways. Just because there is nothing in the news, doesn’t mean it isn’t real. People would get hysteric or maybe even horrified, if they would know the truth. But either they don’t want to believe it or just think it is impossible. I can’t tell for sure. But I know, that it is real. And it might be easier to abuse than we all think.

And maybe by the ones we least expect, maybe by the ovbious ones. Who knows… But it is possible.


I want to life in a world where not police gets called when people are down, but we just go there and stay with them. What should police help, when someone wants to die? They could either kill them, take them in arrest or maybe talk, depending on the situation. But most people just need someone who lets them cry and builds them up, by just staying, listening or doing something which makes them happy again, not too alone.

Wouldn’t we care so much for our jobs, for our own career, ourself, than many deaths could be gone, wouldn’t have been (necessarry?).

I will go out for a walk now. Yes, like this.
I just need a walk and especially in the storm. Why can’t people understand.
It isn’t important, I don’t expect them to understand, but it “drives me crazy” nonetheless. What is this blog man, sister I don’t know.
God, the world, the everything, madness, happiness, joy, hope and depression, love and pain, news and old news still uptodate…

Best wishes to the reader. You should probably get some help. 😀

I mean how else would you be able to read and listen to all of this?
Quite a lot to process.


I made the walk and well, there even was a tree on a road which was blocked, so no one would drive into it. And a lot of small wood parts and other things. And boy the wind was still strong, but not like yesterday.
Fresh air was good, but all these cars, just broke the peace I wanted. I hate this…


For the next track Alius proiecimus:

I didn’t find specific phrases this time.

But instead I found everything from the end of WWII, over health care, cancer, teenage depression and suicide studies, the book of Esther (bible), Putin: New world order in relation with Satan, another shooting, racism, porn, pills, save the Amazon, the invention of money, billing, retirement, hormone replacements… too just name a few. So well, I think it is about all the problems in the world you could say. Or just random data. But well, it really was a summary of many problems, without searching for a summary.

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