Day 3 (evening – part 2)

While I was farther developing my app project I listened to all of these and well it is very interesting how I got some things working in the app with them. Even though they have nothing to do with it, just the essence and inspiration gave me the ability to continue even though it seemed difficult at first.

But it depends, in some way they are all related with the app because the app shall help to connect people in a different way. Not for dating, not for flirting, “fun”, but to feel not alone, to feel loved and worthy to live. So yeah, well in this way all of it is related to the app. (Overthinking basic app development at its best. :D)

And about the last video, I still won’t take any medication and go to a doctor. Not because someone said it or whatever, but because I know I can help myself better than them. So far they either made it even worse or just had not much of an impact. A medication sure is needed, but it depends on what the medication is. Music is mine. The brain can be changed. So when they say it is the only way to medicate, they are right in some way. But pills most of the time only supress some parts of depression, but the main reason is somewhere else. And the problem is often a society problem or something like that which broke the brain in the long run.

So the right medication could in fact help. But if it just supresses the symptomes or something (a life long medication), it probably is not the only thing. The soul / heart and brain are broken, but not to a static never changeable state. There is always the possibility for a change. One gets help from a nice doctor, one can help themselves, one just needs to go somewhere else, etc.

I myself know, that when I am in my save space I feel almost no or even none of depression and I can think logically about things, can see wonders and happy things. So if I should take pills, it wouldn’t help because I already know what is good for me and what helps: Music, some time alone, walking through the forest, developing some useless seeming programs for fun, developing useful apps and tools for me and or other people, relaxing, playing some games, watching some intersting series, learning new things etc.

With these things I feel good or at least in a way good I could say without lying: “I am fine.” But if I should be forced to take any pills, do a job I don’t like and so on. I would only get worse. For me, my problem is and always was some sort of rejection, which caused my brain to break. And I also believe I have bipolar or something like that. But would it make a change, if I would get some pills? They would only suppress the bad symptoms, like pain killers. But the cause of the pain, wouldn’t go away. This said, it makes only sense to see it this way, if you believe the brain can change itself over time naturally and nothing is static. It is up to you, whether you think this may be right or just completely wrong or even dangerous for some people.
I can’t speak for all people, only for myself and those who can relate maybe.