[GERMAN VERSION – ORIGINAL]
Aus dem Kamin ein Feuerschein,
der Raum gefüllt mit Wärme,
auf dem Adventskranz leuchten drei Lichtlein,
alles still kein Hauch von Lärme.
Bald schon ist Weihnachtsabend,
draußen ist es früher schon dunkel,
Geschenke kaufen ist wieder im Trend,
am Weihnachtsabend ein Stern ganz hell.
Alle sitzen froh beisammen,
singen Lieder vorm Kamin,
packen Geschenke auf und lachen zusammen,
Weihnachten ist der wichtigste Termin.
Gefeiert wird Jesus Geburtstag,
ein Tag den wohl fast jeder mag,
im Jahr ist es der schönste Tag,
Schnee auf dem Boden und im Geäst.
Mit dem Schlitten den Berg runterfahren,
zusammen eine Schneeballschlacht machen,
einen Schneemann bauen mit Möhrengesicht,
gemütlich einen Punsch trinken bei Kerzenlicht.
An Weihnachten gibt’ s Geschenke zuhauf,
Freust du dich schon darauf?
[ENGLISH VERSION – TRANSLATION]
Beautiful winter days
A glow of fire from the fireplace,
the room filled with warmth,
on the Advent wreath three little lights shine,
all quiet no hint of any noise.
Soon it will be Christmas Eve,
outside it is already dark earlier,
Buying gifts is back in fashion,
on Christmas Eve a star very bright.
Everyone sits together happily,
sing songs in front of the fireplace,
open presents and laugh together,
Christmas is the most important date.
Jesus’ birthday is celebrated,
a day that probably almost everyone likes,
in the year it is the most beautiful day,
Snow on the ground and in branches.
Going down the mountain with the sled,
have a snowball fight together,
build a snowman with carrot face,
comfortably drink a punch by candlelight.
On Christmas there are lots of presents,
Are you already looking forward to it?
Reading this again, especially now, knowing how things usually were in reality, this poem bleeds.
And I can’t quite tell in what mood I wrote it, but like some other poems and things at the time, it was probably out of a hurt, confused and traumatized perspective. Meaning, that it was meant to write how it was usually presented or maybe wished for, instead of the actual thing.
Because I remember Christmas as something mostly negative and only the holidays and when I could escape somewhere (video games, TV, walking, …) it was somewhat acceptable. There were a few good Christmas times, like last year, but usually it wasn’t or even if it could have been, I wasn’t able to feel it. Not to forget that I actually thought: “Why can’t every day be Christmas?” Since I thought it was about being happy, being there for each other, eating and making tasty things or whatever. Well, often Christmas was about reading something from the bible, the same story again and again… or about sitting around a table, either talking about things we didn’t want to talk about, sometimes getting angry or maybe even getting forced to sing a song, although I didn’t want to and it was anything but the mood.
Well, now you know.
I am just thankful, that my grandfather was able to visit us a last time on one Christmas, since he probably wished that for a while back then. My mother had to even fight with my father to get his father over to our house, although my grandfather wanted to be with us and long had enough of this same old “tradition”, while my father was all about it. As if he didn’t care for his father…
I know, seems like me sometimes as well, but in my case, it is, that he usually just wants what he wants, while my grandfather didn’t care that much, even accepted things he long had hated or burdened himself with, like cooking for my father, although he was able to do that on his own. And also sitting at home in front of the TV often, since others didn’t really care for him. Poor grandpa… I really wish you were still here, but without all this misery. 😥